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Despite taking on the hardest fixture list known to man I'm still standing proudly. However, this lots team colours actually look like a slightly gone-off banana skin. If ever there was a sign…… Lets do this.

Not a Harley, an actual pig.

Revised score just landed at the PL HQ.....

monday fucking morning and I can't decide now what was the better, being at a tense, blood and thunder game (love a bit of that me!) with a well deserved victory at the end of it, or the 40 hours of subsequent fallout, both hilarious and cringingly embarrassing in equal measures. anyway....

it's about time this board gave the captain some well-deserved love. he was my motm against arsenal. he didn't put a foot wrong all game. had the arsenal attackers in his back pocket. he looked quick, he looked sharp and he dominated them physically, winning all the headers he went up for and he put in one crunching perfectly-timed sliding tackle that dummett would be proud of. okay, he'll never play those perfect 40 yard pinged long ball like schar and botman can, but what he is doing is helping start attacks by passing it sharply forwards in those little triangles we use to get us further up the pitch. i didn't think he had that in his game before he came back into the side. apart from a little wobble in the first half against west ham, when he lost his man over his shoulder for the goal, he hasn't put a foot wrong since returning to the side. he looks fit, he looks lean, he looks quick. and i saw his leadership qualities return with the confidence that a few good games bring - he was even barking orders at tripper against arsenal. who'd have thought it? i thought lascelles was captain in name only, but perhaps not. i'm loving his reinvention. it has to rank up there with the joelinton transformation among eddie howe's greatest hits. what a coach this man is. long may it continue.

26-0, Emil Krafth quintuple hat-trick

He actually stubbed Dougle's tab out on his hand. Typical Mag behaviour, twisting stories.

Just told the wife Newcastle are on tomorrow night 'Who we (🙄) playing?' 'Dortmund' 'Oh in the Carabao Cup?'

Nein!

What kind of authoritarian shit is this? I demand equal sausage rights.

Same story on RTG has him beating the shit out of you, stubbing his tab out on your hand and riding off with your lass on his hog. So think yourself lucky.

Spot the odd one out.....

I am all for equality but I can't help but think both would play better if Willock wasn't inside him during the match.

The sweet whiff of quiff

Steered clear of Dan Burn.

They can try but they will never win.

Translated from murals in Pompeii 🙂

In the Land of Sausage, there can be only one outcome 5-0. Murphy, BDB, Dubravka hat trick.

If Wykiki knew what I know about what you know, he’d expect you to come out with that, you know.

Eddie Howe has improved so many players in his time here so far. Joelinton can’t even be classed as in improvement, it’s a total reinvention as a midfield general and one of the best in the league. Jacob Murphy, let’s face it we didn’t think he deserved a place in the squad now we can’t bear the thought of him being out for 3 months. Almiron whilst alway full of endeavour is just poles apart from the player he was. Schar is the centre bacjk England wish they had and Lascelles has slotted in so well we don’t even miss Botman. I haven’t even mentioned Longstaff, Krafth, Ritchie, Callum, and Dummet. He is a total magician.

Ballot ..... Asking if it's in yet

Steady now.

3-0. Lascelles hattrick

Despite our magnificence against ManU and Arsenal, going to Germany and bananas both bring out my anxiety and PTSD. Flaccid, wet and soon to be itchy.

Side note to all the drama, I hope Bruno cops a behind closed door bollocking and some sort of punishment for his petulance in the forearm bump on Jorginho. Secondly I hope noone outside the team ever hears anything about that punishment. The Howe way or the highway.

Thank you Unai Emery for your complete lack of cojones, we will forever be grateful.

peachy.

Don't forget Anderson's perfectly legal goal chalked off for offside. Probably loads more too.

We should get him to run a nice bath for the injured lads, maybe pop an egg in it.

I certainly am.

Secret forum marra

Last time I was in the lovely town of sunderland (at the Borough pub to be precise. Where I had a band on) Standing outside having a swift tab mackem “how yee, where the fuck are yee from, never seen yee before” Me. “Just here working mate, from Northumberland if it matters to you” Mackem “Aye fuck off home you fucking Geordie cunt” Classy chaps.

Well I missed portions of the game and most of this thread, but still feel the need to say what an incredible team this is. To have gotten the results they have over these run of fixtures and the challenges the squad has faced, to keep finding the fight and energy, incredible. Not a surprise at all that Arsenal and Arteta have made complete tits out of themselves. Cherry on top. Bruno really does need to cut out some of the petulance long term, but you know what considering what Havertz did and how absolutely hilarious the fall out has been from Arteta, good on him!

There were no errors involving the goal though, the ball didn’t go out and Gordon wasn’t offside. If you want to debate the Gabriel incident fine but to me that wasn’t a foul, and overall people are split so it wasn’t an error.