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Well that's the kids' Christmas ruined.

just had a quick google. you'll have probably eaten half the chocolates in your advent calender before I appear again.

First they came for the Communists And I did not speak out Because I was not a Communist Then they came for the Socialists And I did not speak out Because I was not a Socialist Then they came for the trade unionists And I did not speak out Because I was not a trade unionist Then they came for the Jews And I did not speak out Because I was not a Jew Then they came for Suella Braverman And there was only the Daily Mail left To speak for her

Hey lads. Anyone know who this?

Sofia Vergara. We'll see you in a week.

I still think we should do the "Sell Jeff Hendrick to a Saudi club for 200m" thing just for a laugh.

"Wewwl that was a fabuwess, end to end game of footbaww, so fweefwowing with goaws aww over the shop. Wots your forts on it?" "Let's not take the piss, here."

Yeah right

Charlotte Robson in her prime.

Lucky guess, I assure you. But it's painfully obvious that he only has an issue with Muslims because he found his lass in bed with one. A Muslim with a much larger chopper is a given, since all these weird alt-right touchers have micro-penises. I am almost certain that he believes the middle-east treatment of women is abhorrent but that all women should stay at home, cook, clean and look after the kids - and equally believe that he's completely unable to see the hypocrisy in those two views. Also, he's a definite danger to kids and small farm yard animals - and car exhausts.

He’s going to be fucked when his fanbase hits puberty

Just saw this on th Club site tickt info.

Don't you ever, EVER, question me again.

OH JUST FUCK OFF. I had my first child free weekend in 12 fucking years last weekend as they were at Guide camp. Went to the match, that was it.

I wasn't aware of this context for Ten Hag's latest fuck up: FC Copenhagen hadnt won a CL match in SEVEN YEARS.

Final one I promise 🙂

FYP, you dirty dog.

Hydration is key.

yeah, they can slow us down but they can’t stop us. And if Howe keeps improving players they way we he has to date we will continue to upset the elite through quality coaching and strategy rather than simply throwing money at it. It doesn’t bother me in the slightest. It makes our achievements all the more pleasing if anything. The fact that the likes of Longstaff, Joelinton, Almiron, Schar and Lascelles have been some of our best players this season is frankly remarkable. We all gave these same players plenty of shit under the previous manager. It would be less satisfying if we just threw unconstrained millions at it, the way Chelsea and Man City were able to. And would we have the same spirit and unity if we had been allowed to take that approach? Chelsea have demonstrated how money alone won’t necessarily buy success. I don’t recall a Newcastle side with as few egos as the current squad, who work this hard for each other or who are as united.

Livramento got a 5 which really means 2/6? Fuck off you Kraut Kuntz. Stick to sticking homeopathic coffee enemas up your arsen.

As bored as I was by the end of your post?

I think he’s banking on it.

He's a pwofessiow wowtubwer paw

No. No, you don't. Nor do you care about your imaginary Jewish relatives and fake ex-girlfriends no matter how much you try and bang that drum. Everyone here is on the side of humanity - both sides have an equal right to survive and thrive. You only believe in one side because you have prejudices against Muslims. You've made that abundantly clear on multiple occasions - so take your faux outrage and your brassiest of brass necks and fuck off.

Only Fish could ignore Saint-Maximin’s defensive stats but rake Mbappe over the coals for them

You're one of those tight parents who make your kids normal everyday clothes a christmas present I take it?

🙂

I have a whole host of other favourites. don't worry about that.

I think so far we've only really spent the money Ashley didn't spend (so all of it). At least the massive spending in the first couple of windows were simply FFP dosh Ashley didn't want to part with. The new commercial deals all really kicked in this season, and then we'll have another biggish one next year with Adidas - and I doubt we've spent all of that yet. Not to mention the extra prize money from the Champions League. They are trying to hamstring us, but it just won't work. PIF own (or have fingers in) hundreds of other companies so if we can't have a stupidly high commercial deal with one of those companies because of the new rules, they'll just arrange 50 on fair market rate instead. Either way we'll end up with hundreds of millions of pounds to spend and they can do fuck all about it.

As they said on the newsagents yesterday, better to have your political opponent inside the tent pissing out than outside the tent pissing in. Trouble is Braverman is inside the tent pissing in.

'So kids, what we have to do is take this big hammer and smash mummy cat's tummy in. I'm afraid it's the only way to save her kittens'.

So far our transformation had had very little to do with the fact we now have the richest owners in the world because of all the rules designed to constrain our spending. And yet we’re still challenging the established elite. The likes of Chelsea and Man U, who have spent a fortune, must be seething. we’re obvs spending more than we could have dreamed of under Ashley but it’s not much relative to other clubs or compared to how much Chelsea and Man City spent when their takeovers went through

If you know you know

It’s never happening of course but I’m not having people turning their noses up at Mbappe .

Apparently Braverman’s attempts to get the sack have failed.

I remember opening socks when I was about 7. Might as well have wrapped a white dog turd. #1970s

And, yes, I include your cunt kids in this

He put gloves on when they trained on the SJP pitch when it was 13 degrees. Craig Hope wouldn't shut the fuck up about it for two days.

Also, somehow get Chris Rigg to drop his contract with the mackems in the bin, sign with us and them loan him out to Boro. They are proper obsessed with him despite him only being 15/16 - must be something in the water in Sunderland.

I really hope we've been on top of this shit from day one and are getting the best legal advice around. It would be delicious if we gave these cunts just enough rope to hang themselves. We've definitely toed the line so far.

The comedic timing on the Bulgarian referee. Brilliant. Awards the goal. Reviewed. Can't hear anything in his earpiece. Only picking up a strange high-pitched static whining sound. Figures, fuck it, it's clearly a goal. Awards the goal. Review continues as players prepare to kickoff. Referee called to touchline for VAR check. Guess it's a handball? Static whining sound intensifies. Disallowed. Who says eastern Europeans don't have a sense of humour?