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@Nefilim at this very moment

The ultimate business MF wants to get into, allegedly. That and patio installation business.

PL investigation being initiated against us for FFP. (Fully Fit Players). Looks like a points deduction.

The thing about poor behaviour like this, as a parent, is that your kids remember every little detail, even if they’re too young to know what’s going on. Once they’re older they work it out and then the real problems start. I avoided any chance of that by getting my two absolutely skullfucked on scag when they were little, so they don’t remember me and the Mrs. crawling round the bathroom looking for the giant blue spiders.

Happy to help

nee-feelin or whatever he is called will be licking his chops, prepare yourself for another Mourinho toon vid

@Zaro, I can only apologise for the rude boys n this thread, they are so naughty. I’ve reported them to the head of the Newcastle United Ultras, Adam Pearson, who will be speaking with them all. He’s your man for all fan club enquiries btw, you can contact him on Twitter ( Adam is the lad on the left, by the way).

Well, I finally plucked up the courage to enter the new "House of holes" shop in Tynemouth Front Street. Imagine my disappointment when I found out it was a bagel shop.

I had a builder mate in Gloucester who combined the two… haven’t heard from him in years.

Zorro you should’ve asked these when they were out your way seeing Sofia or somebody last month

A lot of their squad must worth fuck all then, because they’ve got a £30m, £25m and £15m player on the books. Is this all part of The Model?

I still like a bit of Gold Rush, prime hungover Saturday morning watching Mrs S walks in. "Big machine broke?" Me "Aye" Mrs S walks out shaking head

Compared to my normal day? No, positively hectic. Compared to a normal person? Yes, glacially slow.

LM’d your post

Done.

no, they don't

1 means available, 0 means injured/suspended. dark green means started, light green means played from the bench, yellow means on the bench but not used, red means available but not in squad. I've taken market value from Transfermarkt. Our total squad value (inc used U21s) is €641.8m. In 9 out of 21 PL games we've been been over 30% down on the squad in terms of market value.

TT welcome in 3.....2.....1......

I avoided it by faking my death in a canoe accident.

He is a dipper.

Is RTG in full blown tin foil hat mode making insane assumptions that this is MPs telling the PL to stop pissing on Saudi chips?

His dreamjob is in HR, am I right?

I don't mind people calling themselves tradespeople, self-employed or businesses as long as it doesnt mean charva nail technicians etc voting tory thinking they're the best choice as they're now "above" voting Labour.

Fuck business

For 80 minutes?

Hi Zaro, Do you hate the Mags anarrl...... Shit, wrong forum.

I think deep down Pep knew Arteta is a bitch though

As most of you know, we are kept running by time put in by myself and the other mods & admins and the money generated by the TT Patreon. Since we started the Patreon we peaked in donations and members very early on, since then the numbers of both have dwindled consistently. This is fine, costs are going up and people have less money to spend. However, the cost of running the place is also going up. We do have a problem however, we have had no new signups to the Patreon in months, only once since we peaked at the start has the number gone up from one month to the next. Eventually, this leads to the death of the place. We need you all to chill the fuck out on dogpiling new members the second they make their first post. Give people a chance to become members here. While I don't expect poor Zaro would have signed up for the Patreon, this thread was an absolute piss take. The poor bloke showed up with an innocent question, perhaps a little poorly phrased because english isn't his first language because, as he said, he is Bulgarian. Within two posts he was asked how he wipes and called a cunt. If you don't want to interact with stuff like this, just leave it. So, please; Calm down on attacking new sign ups Leave the Quiff investigations to the mods team, we always know it's him way before he fully outs himself, we just wait for him to do it since he can't help himself. Sign up for the Toontastic Patreon TODAY! https://www.patreon.com/ToontasticNet

What a thoroughly tedious affair FFP is. Absolutely stifling any kind of joy in football discussion

Aye but not for a fucking footy club and I don't have the patience or inclination to start looking at the ins and outs of FFP - I have limited storage space in my head and I am getting dangerously close to forgetting how to fasten shoelaces if I start fucking about with a new skill.

No, because that was blocked by the PL and delayed the takeover quite some time while the legal team of our owners ran rings around the charlatans representing the PL.

still trying to work through it for you Keego 👍

If getting pissed and shouting at the telly during the match is social services worthy then I'm (and presumably most of the people on this board with kids) walking a fucking tightrope. That said, I don't do drugs and I am making an assumption that the drink and drugs are not match specific for this lad and he's bumping coke off prossies arses on a late Wednesday eve match or no match. If he's older than 22-23 then he needs a fucking slap, especially with a bairn at home. Some people are so hell bent on being 'lads' that they can't see that they look like epic thundercunts to everyone else. I don't think he gives a shit about the kid tbh, if he did he would never be doing the shit he's been doing. You don't go "I bucked three lasses over the weekend" and then "I miss my family" in the same breath - it doesn't track. This lad seems like a bit of a dick tbh

You fucking twat.

Peter Withe?

Is that Micky Quinn’s brother?

Your kit is minging.

You’ll know once you’ve been seen by El Capo.

Arteta managed City for 1 game. We lost. He's pants. Case closed.

i blame this cunt for putting in a title-winning performance at our place. we never should have lost that game in a million years

Ill start... Are you a stander or a sitter?

As long as the match only lasts 80 minutes 🙂