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Howe at long last looking to sort out the defensive midfielder and left back problems

Can't remember if I've already told you about my Spanish mate who is the singer in a Kajagoogoo tribute act? Anyway, he's fucking brilliant, so good in fact, that once you've seen Juan you've seen Limahl.

Mrs. F. has just been offered a new job following an interview yesterday- same kind of thing she’s doing now, but not in sunderland. New office is 5 minutes away, so we reckon that fuel and Tyne tunnel savings will be a free £2k+ on top of her new wage. Very happy house tonight.

I played scrabble with Midge Ure once, a while ago, he only had 4 letters left and he said “they mean nothing to me, O V N R”

He was technical director at AC Milan when they sold Tonali to us.

Checks out.

Centurion walks in behind him, holds up two fingers and says ” Five beers please”

Yeah but am very calm when I’m saying it and there’s fuck all we as fans can do anyway. You’re as usual metaphorically sat on top of a Christmas tree covered in glitter shouting “DONT PANIC” like some sort of camp Corporal Jones

Everton's next FFP hearing is coming up, give Gemmill some space.

That’s a bit strong. He could hardly be considered a player whilst employed by Newcastle.

I hope he had himself FGS v Villa.

Went to the doctor and said “ Doc, I keep thinking I’m a goat” Doc said “ How long have you felt this way?” “ Since I was a kid”.

This is why I have seagull themed nightmares.

Hello Dave.

Oh no, our third choice goalkeeper might leave...

Stock Aitken and Dennis Waterman?

Just had to book five separate tickets to get the best fare on a Peterborough-Newcastle return next month. Perfectly normal rail system, definitely not broken at all.

How long have the FA known about this btw? Sitting on it until there are 10 games of the season left is taking the piss. As is docking points from Forest/Everton half way through a relegation battle whilst taking forever to put a sanction on City

Let's remind ourselves about THAT SHIRT before we go throwing accusations of campness around.

A Roman walks in to a bar and says “I’ll have a martinus.” The bartender says “you mean a martini?” The Roman replies “no, if I wanted a double I would have asked for one.”

I reckon he’ll get done for breach of contract if there’s another ban on top of the current one. Hopefully the FA will see sense and any additional ban would be considered unduly harsh. I won’t hold by breath though. It would also be a harsh move by the club but they’d probably not really see any other option thanks to FFP rules. And if all that were to happen then I think his whole career would be in jeopardy. It would be a terrible way to treat an addict imo. I’m not just saying that because he’s our player. As I tend to agree he’s not that likely to make it here either way

If it’s anything other than a concurrent ban it’s a fucking outrage.

I don't share your optimism. I think the scroats at the FA will use him as an example, and there'll evidently be considerable support from other clubs in the league. A great player he is but it does beg questions about the level of due diligence we did on the lad before spending £55m on him.

I said that before this betting scandal. Italians struggle to settle in PL. They are real hit or miss. Mainly miss.

Dodgy landlords of the world UNITE!

Surely it’s just a story to get his wife’s tits in their paper.

I always though the Metro's "South Gorsforrrrth" was a piss take but actually it probably fits the demographic on reflection. Should change the Wallsend announcement to "*hockle* Howman Waaalsend ya cunt" though.

And ruined the next day due to the friction burns on his shaft.

Have you heard about the tree that could talk but was too afraid to do so It was afraid it would dialogue

I can’t remember where I saw it, but I definitely recall reading an article about the treacherous state of bridges in the US. It essentially said “ soon, one or more of them will collapse”. It may been around the time that bridge in Italy had a lie down. I used to do a lot of contract work for a firm whose business was the installation, and subsequent monitoring, of movement meters on road and rail bridges and other structures. One job we had in Dewsbury, they brought over a team of rope lads from a partner business they had in the US, to work with us and see how things were done here. It was a small, single span rail bridge over a canal These lads were amazed that something so small and insignificant was 1- Metered in the first place 2- Those meters were maintained. Said that would rarely happen back home. It was a railway bridge, with regular passenger trains going over it ffs