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🎶 Luke O'Nien, Nien, Nien Him playing football is a crime, Luke O'Nien, Nien, Nien He's a duck egg all the time Down the left, down the right Doesn't matter he's still shite, His only claim to fame Is kicking a 17 year old up a height. 🎵

I don't have a fanny and it still dried out seeing this.

I think you’ll find I’ve already formed the TT branch of the St Mirren supporters club. If you want to apply for membership PM Andrew for a form

Sandro Tonali and Lewis Hall posing for the latest team photo, circa 1899. Both are said to be thrilled at joining Newcastle United Football Club.

I didn't know wyki was a closet St. Mirren fan.

....and of course the genocide.

Hello Helen

World class, just not at football.

Enjoyed the snippet at the end with Trippier picking Howe up for looking him up and down and laughing at his clobber.

Do you hate the mags anaarl?

Do you sit or stand?

A beautiful tribute to the great man.

There's no justice, Mr raspberry jam, no justice.

Fuck me, it’s Stock Aitkin and Howmanheyman

Aye, unlike his highly versatile vegetable namesake, there’s only layer to him- shite.

Not the worst thing one of their "legends" have done to a teenager tbf

You need big balls to be a success in the premier league, so this fella is fucked.

I'd have farted in his general direction.

"Hi Alan, it's sky here, are you available to commentate on the Spurs v Arsenal match day?" "Absoloitely and can oi say it should be an absoloitely tremendous match as the North London matches tend to boi." "Errr, well err, if you could just do the forest v man city game after Gary does the spurs v arsenal match that would be really fantastic." "Hello? Hello? Alan? Are you still there?"

Your patter reeks. When I used to work on the ropes, we had the BT call centres and high rise admin contract. The one in Glasgow had this fucking huge woman as facilities manger, I mean she had a gunt that could run an oil burning generator for a year or two. Fucking massive. She was also an absolute twat, the type who treated contractors as if she was paying them with her own money. Everywhere else for BT, I’d have a few minutes chat with the FM, then get the lads together and have a quick toolbox talk. This fucking whale insisted on having the whole crew in the FM office and she’d go through each floor of the building, telling us where “extra care” was needed, where was “parrrticularrly duurty” etc. One time, we had a few new lads with us, so just before we went in to her office I turned around, got all the lads attention and said ” I’m sure you’ve heard the tales about Moby here- all true. One very important thing lads, whatever you do, don’t picture her shitting on her glass coffee table back home” Then opened the door and ushered everyone in. It was fucking glorious- as she started listing off smears and stains I could hear the lads behind biting their tongues, cough/laughing, turning in to Finbarr Saunders- a couple excused themselves saying they needed the toilet. Worked a fucking treat

What's been going on at The Vermont now?

On the opening night of debates he labours in dragging one leg behind him, and his arm his hanging at his waist. He gets to the podium, his face is completely melted down one side. He says one thing, and one thing only...."and of course, the genocide", face plants the podium, strokes out on the floor, his wig falls off, has explosive diarrhoea and dies. In front of a global audience. It may not be the end he wanted, but it's the one he deserves.

Should have been a red

Not sure that's wise

Her type are normally delivered to a pasture packed in tight in a livestock lorry

I would never have picked that on spot the ball.

Don’t forget Neville…his short managerial career was hilarious.

I wouldn't feel badly towards him at all if he leaves. It's a really short career and his job is to make the absolute most of his talent, not to keep our club and its fans happy. I'll be gutted and it's gonna be a long month to the end of June, but he certainly doesn't sound like someone who's agitating to go. But if someone triggers his release, then he's gonna be put to a decision. And if they offer him double his wage, and they're a permanent fixture in the last 4 of the CL, he'd honestly be a bit stupid not to go.

Who’s this cunt?

Whits wrang wi yer girney lookin puss the day ya bam?

Blyme, wasn't expecting him to pick Luke O'Nien

Materazzi, what a cunt

I don’t think you would, unless you have a cracking pair of tits edit; maybe you would - she’s an “omnivore”.

If that lardbucket has ever walked to a pasture, I’ll vote Tory

Yes you would.

Here's another brain cell avoider telling it EXACTLY how it is.....

'quality' Young gimps supporting clubs other than Man U or Liverpool hoping for a pat on the head from these cunts, man. I can't wait to be perennial top club and obviously would love to see some of those clubs who are MASSIVELY overrepresented on sky and co be outside the top 6 for a few years.