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I know it's a bit of a longshot but does anyone know where I can get some counterfeit money or passports?

Ayoze Perez has made the provisional Spain squad for Euros (along with Joselu and Merino). LOLZ.

Klopp & Pep to leave at the same time?

I thought you were chatting him up

BACON SANDWICH TIME!

What was Whitney Houston’s favourite kind of coordination? Haaaaaaaaand Eyyyyyyyyyyyye! Thank you , and…

I am a little sad Leeds didn't get promoted. It's better to have another Northern team in the league rather than that cunt of a journey. Plus Rishi is a supafan of em. Plus as its my home city it's good for the city. But also, not that sad as Leeds fans are fucking unbearable at times

It'll pay off though when we get the £100m in compensation from Man U.

The people interviewing him will be well aware of his record. Way more than any of us are. If it was possible to draw such easy conclusions from 777 group, he wouldn't have even made the long list, never mind the short one.

Also denies us the chance to improve our UEFA club coefficient which would improve our future income from European football. That said as far as our league and domestic cup this is a far better result than stretching our squad (and keeping on deadwood to help) for the lowest ranking and lowest prizemoney European competition which I couldn't imagine on its own would have any sway on any player signing for us. I wonder if there are any implications for player's bonuses and wages next season? That could be more telling. I feel like Bruno will stay as he has his buddy Joelinton here for the long term whereas Isak is much harder to get a read on.

I met a woman who runs a battery kiosk in the local park. So basically she sells C cells by the seesaw.

Fyp

Doesn’t look like it.

I fucking despise Leeds, glad the cunts got beat and hope they get fucked on ffp.

Casey said Tosin was a done deal so just relax lads.

"Lock up your teenage daughters, seventy six, Graham Rix."

How it's done KK and Blair style....

It’s nice to be proven right.

Aye, Electoral Calculus reckon that seat is nearly certain to flip.

We were on our way to the MIL’s yesterday and two Labour canvassers crossed the road in front of us in well known sexual deviant Conor Burns constituency. I think they smell blood… 10.5k majority..

I'm sure how they run election campaigns is totally different to how they run the country and they're far more professional at it.

Thought Merino was a great player at the wrong time for us with us beinf a shambles. Imagine he would have been a Rolls Royce player if he had a season or two under Eddie.

The difference here is that Pep deserves one. He also doesn’t really seek the limelight like Gnashers did so there is a good chance he won’t announce anything until he has actually left.

Potato, what a fat useless cunt. Same thing.

Just received a text and I'm wondering if it's a scam? I have won £100 or 2 tickets to an Elvis tribute concert. Says, press 1 for the money or 2 for the show.

He must have jogged to the shops, cos that's his running gear he's got on.

R4 plus Laura will manage to spin something negative for labour to try and make out there's trouble at t'mill in both parties.

Oh well London. My gaffer watched it abroad in a boozer full of Man Utd fans, that didn't go down well. Too many of your lads had an off day. Far too much ale in em.

Eh? Wtf is the point of this post? LondonBlue has been a member here for a good few years, they’ve always been thoroughly respectful and provide a viewpoint of a neutral on so many things. You, however, can get fucked, Thompers. You’re a waste of breath.

Not getting any better for them.

An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini, Italy, went to the local church for confession. When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said: "Father. During World War II, a beautiful woman from our neighbourhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hide her from the Nazis. So I hid her in my attic. The priest replied: "That was a wonderful thing you did, and you have no need to confess that." "There is more to tell, Father. She started to repay me with certain favours. This happened several times a week, and sometimes twice on Sundays." The priest said, "That was a long time ago and by doing what you did, you placed the two of you in great danger, but two people under those circumstances can easily succumb to the weakness of the flesh. However, if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven." "Thank you, Father. That's a great load off my mind. I do have one more question." "And what is that?" asked the priest. "Should I tell her the war is over?'

A blind guy walks into a bar. He tells the bartender “I heard the best blonde joke today. Here it goes…” The bartender says, “Sir, I’m gonna stop you real quick and let you know that the two gentlemen sitting next to you are combat veterans and they’re both blonde. The owner of this bar is sitting at a table behind you with his wife, and they’re both blonde. My girlfriend is sitting on the other side of you - she’s blonde. And I am blonde too. Now, do you still want to tell that joke?” Blind guy says, “Nah, not if I’m going to have to explain it 6 times.”

Sunak has just released a TikTok video saying that the volunteer teenagers could deliver prescriptions to the elderly in the community. Are we giving them CRB checks first or are they free to supplement their free labour by selling on the Morphine and wobbly eggs they're delivering It's so obvious they hadn't thought any of this through before 3 days ago!

Not something anyone of potential qualifying age needs to worry about though, is it, since the Muppet version he’s on about won’t be happening? I hope they don’t persist with this, and choose some other half-arsed desperate idea to help them on their way out, tbh. I’d hate to see the idea become toxic by association with them, since I honestly believe it’s got potential.

Keep Londonblue, ban Gemmill tbh

Looks like he's pulled his eyelids. 6 months on the sidelines.