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David Moyes is on today's Rest In Football - it's a really good listen, he's got some good stories. Anyway, he's talking through his managerial career, Everton, Man United, then off to Spain. Shearer interrupts him with "Anyway. All good things must come to an end. When did you decide to go to the unwashed?" There'll be hell on on RTG, I'm sure.

I hope the chapter on the Wolves badge just says "It's because they're called Wolves"

Went shopping yesterday to pick up few bits and pieces, was rammed with doddery old cunts, was fucking raging and muttering under my breath the likes of "how long can it take FFS, get out the way you fucking doddery old cunt, likes of you shouldn't be allowed out". Then I remembered the reason I myself was able to be in the shop at 10:30 a.m. on a Tuesday ......................................

The Very public diary of the Very real journalist, Luke Edwards, keeping it real "Dear diary, Bladdy hell, it's getting harder, it really is. I feel like I'm juggling plates all over whilst trying to do the chicken dance on my phone. I'm out there digging away for some legitimate scoops, not just regurgitated quotes about what Simon Jordan said on talk sport, (I'm looking at you here, evening chronicle sports team), then getting myself out there on social media to wind up fans, especially a few of the thick ones who aren't a threat yet you get the likes of wykiki retweeting sports bible and shit like that trying to pretend they're real sports journalists. I can laugh off the likes of Ryder and Graves but the likes of burnsie can do one. Anyway, time for a twitter upload. Like Tom Jones said, I think I better dance now..... ..... Ooh, where's my Aldi Sauvignon Blanc? I'm all pooped out now!"

Oh no, we’re going to be missing *checks notes* absolutely nobody.

Gemmill’s predictions continue to get worse.

They were really nice to me though

Steve Bruce looks like he’s had a great time in Maga with the boys (just Alex Bruce).

Sales of this not going well in Sunlun

What Toonpack wouldn't give for a "Scotland won't qualify from this group" prediction from me atm. Well he can fuck RIGHT off.

A bit mackem like behaviour, but imagine this.

The fact it's already been debunked will mean fuck all now he's said it. His supporters have drank the kool aid and will think anything contradicting this lie is deep state corruption. Mongs, the lot of them.

Greetings from the Dominican Republic, well the blart is well and truly off the chart.

Yeah but underneath that high vis…

Fair do's, fish. 'Lol.'

Hasn't he got a blue tick?

This is one prediction that will eventually come good though. Prediction + time = success. It's my theory of relativity.

You photograph it in the brain library, man.

Toonpack shops like Biden trying to find his way off a stage.

I’ve so far managed to dodge the roaming hordes of 6ft 4 brick shithouses wielding plastic swords. Difficult to tell if they’re mackems or not because not a single one is wearing their top on holiday.

Be careful to avoid any marauding MLFs, they'll windmill you all over.

I hope your sunglasses are proper blackouts and your eyeballs aren't sore from looking to the left or right to the general direction of your head.

Secretary. It’s annoying as duck is autocorrect

If they splashed paint on the CEOs of oil companies, and energy providers, everyone would be well behind them. Disrupting the everyman, or vandalising art/history won't get them support from anyone who isn't already supportive.

The way her hands are positioned, maybe she's just tossed it up in the air and is in the process of catching it on her bonce. That's about the best explanation I can come up with for that level of hard hat insanity.

That hat ffs.

Fffffffucking hell, trying to do a shop in M&S while the Saga crowd are in. Marjorie doddering along with Roger, parking their trolley horizontal across the aisle, creating huge lines at the checkout because they cannot understand the self scan stuff. Fuckers haven't got long left, you'd think they'd be in more of a hurry.

Afraid not, one does one’s shopping at M&S

Feel this deserves at least one lol. Ya bunch of ingrates.

Three matches AND Edwards potentially making a spectacle of himself today? The gods have truly blessed us.

Mackem boasting?

Top managers dont want international jobs. For the most part he IS the level.

He wishes 😘

I know this isn't the point of the story, but if you're ever forced to break at Peterborough services while doing that route, holler and I'll pop over and buy a coffee for you and whoever you've got tied up in the back at the time

Allergic reaction to his daughter’s snatch.

This lass can't have met wykiki.

So, having earned my beginner wings on the way down, it got the bar with oak leaves on the way back. My route home is A249-> M2->M25 -> Dartford crossing-> M25->M11->A14->A1M->A1 Every road and junction that I needed to take , up to the A1, was closed overnight, with diversions where they let a spider with inky legs fuck a map. I was in the shit I have 9hrs driving time per shift, split in to two 4.5hr sections with a mandatory break between- every time the truck stops, in traffic, at lights, etc, the counter pauses until you move off. Normally get to Ferrybridge, or thereabouts by the end of my first 4.5hrs, then trundle home in the 2nd part with time to spare. Because of the above perfect storm of road fuckery, when my first 4.5hrs was 2 minutes from the end, I got to the end of the A10 where it meets the M11… at fucking Cambridge. Took my break, realised that if I fucking leathered it*, I’d get to somewhere between Scotch Corner and Durham and my time would be up. * this means you keep your foot down on flats and bends, and on downhills, where you’d normally use airbrakes to stay at 56ish, I’d have to let it coast and pick up speed , only braking when absolutely necessary. Went to plan, tbh, until a massive snarl up just before Ferrybridge, when I worked out that I’d get to Durham or Washington services as my time ended. ( there’s and option to then take another 45minute break, where you cannot move the vehicle at all, and you get 1 more hour of drive time). Made it into Washington with 6 minutes left, parked up, hit “rest”, bacon buttie time. I thought I was home and dry, until I approached the Tunnel, and saw ahead an absolute whopper tootling along in a clapped out Transit, which was belching clouds of thick black smoke, like its tyres were on fire I thought “no way they’ll let that cunt through …” and then watched as they didn’t even look at him as he sailed in to the Tunnel and began filling it with thick black smoke. I was in the left lane, as my wagon is too high to fit through on the right lane, as was Smoky, who was one car ahead. The lad in between us lasted 30yds, then nipped in to the right lane and passed him. As we got to the flat in the middle, I was expecting him to speed up a bit for the hill out… … cunt slowed to running pace, smoke got thicker, and I thought “ He’s not going to make it up the hill” He got even slower, literally walking pace, ( I was going at 4mph behind him), when he put his hazard lights on. I honestly thought he was about conk it there and then, we’d have been stuck behind until the break down and ambulance ( because I would have got and gone MLF on him) arrived. Made it back to the yard with 20 minutes left