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I wouldn't fancy being an Everton player trying to get home tonight.

Wykiki being the voice of reason is fucking scaring me.

I've not read most of the thread from last night as I've been out on't push iron. So only seen a few snippets. The clickbait headlines by cunts like Chicken Nonce and Hope are just that and I am not paying any attention to them. I am as disappointed as any fan, we all want the excitement of a big name coming in and all clubs, not just ours needs fresh blood in to keep the team competitive. That's failed somewhat, but to pin point it onto Mitchell or Howe or Eales without any fucking insider knowledge is mad. Someone said, it's the first disappointing window we have had under the new ownership and tbh, I am not shitting me kegs. We have kept our big names, we have kept Eddie. Like I said last night we have a new team in Mitchel etc and that's going to take time for bonds to be made etc. Other teams around us last season bought big and we had one of the worse injury crisis I have seen at the club, whilst playing CL football and we still finished 7th above Man Utd. AND. If it wasn't for Man Utd winning the FA Cup we would have had Europe this season! So let's all take a deep breathe and look forward to the next few months. I still have trust in Eddie and the club.

It’s the first transfer window since the takeover that has to be considered a failure, but I think people are a bit overreacting especially with blaming individuals. It’s not football manager and there always more than two parties involved in negotiations including agents and players. I am pretty sure we were looking in several players, sometimes the clubs didn’t want to sell or demanding excessive fees, sometimes likely players weren’t interested or demanding excessive wages, sometimes a structure of a deal couldn’t get worked out or agents were asking excessive fees. It is easy to say that we should have been able to at least finalise one or two deals without really knowing why we failed. I do worry that people will act like spoiled brats though if performances don’t pick up and we get some poor results in the next couple of games. The atmosphere around the club could easily become quite toxic.

18th Crystal Palace 19th Southampton 20th Everton

Stop the season now imo.

What could possibly account for this Everton surge in form I wonder??

Aye well it was likely we would end up with a difficult window. - Ashworth leaving with his laptop of players early in the year and Ratcliffe whinging for months meant we were on the back foot for transfers - Amanda leaving and the PSR debacle in June likely affected targets, Mitchell and Bunce coming in. Most execs need a listening and learning period. I cant imagine Mitchell would be splashing the cash as soon as he got in the door like Adam Pearson in Hooters - We haven't had the luxury of selling £100m players like Brighton and West Ham to fund investment, and our turnover isnt good enough, Thanks to Mike Ashley for both of those! It is growing pretty quickly. We have a load of shite on the books on high wages and long contracts that nobody wants. Isaac Hayden ffs - We have had no youth setup to help feed the PSR beast like Chelsea etc do. After years of underinvestment we have had a bit of wiggle room to spalsh a bit of money. If there was one think about Ashley, he ran a tight ship Looking back, Amanda did a super job but have a niggling thought that she may have overstretched a little in terms of finances hence why we were where we were in June. We have had the double edged sword of a fantastic season under Eddie to get us to CL. Id rather have us build slowly over 5 years rather than do a Leicester City. I think like a manager, Eales needs a season to prove himself out on his own. They seem to be building a proper management team, still remember when Charnley was doing the job of Eales, Stavely, Bunce, Mitchell and Kathy the tea lady. Aye its been a shit window but hoping the financial foundations are in place. Its delicate though as we dont want to lose Bruno etc

Everton 🤣

Bit harsh on @RobElliott, thought it was a pretty decent summary tbf.

Spot on really. I think the slow building of the club within the rules is the aim. It’s not what fans want and may cost us some big names currently at the club, as players’ prime years are a relatively small amount of time and they’re the ones where we can bring in big money too. A point re: Staveley and her husband, a lot of people seem to think their departure is a big part of the reason our targets weren’t signed this window. I’m not sure how true that is, but even if it is, the same people seem to give them a free pass re: the PSR shortfall. Also re: Hope and his ‘sources’. There’s really no way of assessing their credibility. Is it very likely people with much sway have loose lips and are talking to journalists? These sorts of things tend to get embellished at each degree further from the real people in the know too. I’m not saying it was good window, but I think the only real error (because a lot of things are outside the club’s control) was not telling Palace to fuck off weeks ago.

An engineer goes to hell and asks the devil why it's so hot so the devil tells him the AC is knackered. So the engineer fixes it then goes on to fix the escalators, all the electrical including TVs etc and even fixes the Wi-Fi. Soon hell is a very nice place to live. God notices and goes to confront Satan and ask him what's going on. He replies that he was sent an engineer who fixed everything. God replies "Hang on, that's wrong, all engineers go to heaven specifically to prevent this from happening". Satan replies "Well what are you going to do about it?" God says "I'm going to take you to court and sue you". Satan says... "Where the fuck are you going to find a lawyer?"

Mate of mine is a maths teacher with a phobia of negative numbers. He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

I do wonder at something Silverstone said or hinted at a few weeks ago regarding sponsorship deals, now he may have just been covering his own back or just being as sensible as anyone in his position would be but said we have to do deals which are in the club's best interests long-term rather than just taking anything on offer now which could be regretted later, (like us being stuck with castore and fun888), which I totally get but it had me wondering if they're confident they'll have more wriggle room in the near future if the rules are tweaked? That's just my wishful thinking admittedly but it's all we have at the minute.

I see Haaland has given up on football to get the benefits of a simpler life labouring using a pneumatic drill?

Please define "surge".

the beeb seem to think fulham are having a canny game against themselves ....

Sky lad 'It's the end of Arsenal's 100% record' Oh, so Brighton weren't on a 100% record either? Oh no, they're not classed as Top 6. I get it.

it's worse than that, they've both sneaked back in...

https://inews.co.uk/sport/football/newcastle-transfer-2025-project-3254569?ito=copy-link_share_article-top

You lads need to stride into SJP on Monday with a flip chart and get this revelatory lecture delivered to Mitchell and Co.

Nah. I think we should have moved on from the Guehi deal early enough to move on to other targets. We should have had our own "deadline day" after which we abandoned the Guehi deal in time to get somebody else in. Instead we followed Parish around like a puppy for weeks too long and it has cost us any chance of getting anybody in let alone a player that was never for sale.

Physician, heal thyself

In regards to Almiron and Trippier I dont think it’s their age and their wages per se nut rather that they still are very valuable members of the team. It only does make sense if there already is a replacement but foolish to sell them and look for a replacement later.

A young Orca is swimming with his dad and says ” Where did I come from Dad?” Pa Orca says ” Well son, you came out of my penis and met one of your mother’s eggs, then grew in to you her belly.” Kid O is impressed and says “ Wow, thanks Dad!” Pa says “ You’re whale cum, son, you’re whale cum”

A Yorkshireman once said. Ow much, 20p, fuck off.

And a bottle of red opened in Marseille.

Not sure that's true. They're traditionally a yo yo club until recently , but we played them near our peak just post Keegan I think and under Robson. But we just never really put them to the sword and were unaware 5 in a row was a thing. Anyway, Portsmouth are shit. They're not getting promoted and regression to mean will put them back in their place midtable second tier. I'm fairly sure of this. I'm a lot less certain about our own fate now admittedly.

Bournemouth giving us a game last week getting beat at Everton.

There is no point in selling him now.

stopped reading that after the first paragraph. refuse to tolerate any fucker coming out with the line that it's good news we've kept a hold of our best 3 players. we'd complied with psr 2 fucking months ago, selling any of the top lads would've been fucking pathetic and a complete and utter failure, even a little tin pot club in croydon was able to retains theirs while simultaneously taking the piss. caulkin's a cunt.

I don’t consider it a fuck up tbh, a fuck up would have been buying some player out of desperation who turned out to be a billy big bollocks and he destroyed the squad harmony/mentality the fans would have been happy though. We have criteria we want in players coming in/the resultant financials, to not compromise that is a decision, not a mistake. The club officials are paid the big money to make those decisions and the results of those decisions have career defining repercussions, they won’t take them lightly and I would hope not emotionally either.

I think it is perfectly fair to hold the individuals in charge of the transfers responsible for failing to get transfers done. I think it is also possible to simultaneously accept that there were difficulties involved in getting the transfers done. I'm certain every transfer window poses challenges of its own kind. Perhaps the first one was worse when we were bottom of the league, nailed on for relegation, etc. etc. But we managed to sign some impressive players. Anyway that's just a hypothetical example. From my perspective, I accept that there were challenges to be overcome. But I think they could've been overcome like similar difficulties have been overcome in the past. Perhaps Mitchell was naive in his assessment that he had a good relationship with Parish. Perhaps he should've read the writing on the wall with every iota of the transfer story being leaked to the press at every turn that him and Eales were being setup to look like fools. Maybe. We can't say either way but it's possible. The point is that there are too many variables for us to accurately assess the differences between reasons for failure and excuses. That's why in this domain the results are typically taken to be king. With poor results there is a burden of responsibility for failure placed on the individuals most responsible. From my perspective, this is no different to a head coach getting criticised for a run of poor results. Rightly or wrongly it's the way it is. I'm repeating myself largely from an earlier post. But anyway I absolutely agree with the last part of your post. I also hope people don't start behaving like spoiled brats. We are in an amazing position as a club compared to where we were. I really do think we have the right people in charge and I don't want them sacked or anything even remotely close to having their positions put in jeopardy. I also fear that the mongs could turn on the club's hierarchy and make things toxic if we don't perform well on the pitch. That's the last thing we need. At the end of the day, I mostly agree that the situation we've been placed in by PSR is incredibly incredibly difficult. I just think that we can blame certain individuals responsible (on a message board where it is of absolutely zero consequence) and still support them at the same time to continue in the job because they're the best person for it. tl;dr: I have every confidence that we have people in key positions who are capable of learning fast and adapting. But they're personally responsible for this fuck up because it's part of their job to do everything possible to recruit players.

It did not happen because Staveley brokered the £33m sale of Yankuba Minteh to Brighton and Elliot Anderson — much to the player and Howe’s disappointment — was sold to Forest for £35m. However, the latter was only possible because Newcastle agreed to take Greek goalkeeper Odysseas Vlachodimos for an eight-figure fee that we are told would ‘make your eyes water’. The Magpies have since tried to send him out on loan. don't believe a word of it.

Next time he’s in Aldi I hope the tins on corned beef fall on his head.

Absolutely. Can I recommend lots of fingersnapping as you pop these ideas at them. You really want to get the point across that you lads are pure free styling these ideas into existence. It's gonna be like Eight Mile up there.

FYP

It’s rarely good to leave things until the last moment. But as with the transfer dealings I am unsure how much if it is really down to a lack of competence. We had to sign players knowing that would put us in a bad position in regards to psr. We do also still suffer from years of mismanagement. We don’t have saleable assets, at least none we actually want to get rid off. We also can’t force other clubs to sign our players. There is only so much you can actually do. Obviously there are players like Almiron who could get sold, but I understand the reluctance to do it without having a suitable replacement in place who will improve us. I do also think that a clubs are still reluctant to deal with us and especially do us favours. We are rich on paper and got a pretty bad reputation because of our owners. I can imagine that does dealing with other clubs still difficult, especially in England. People like Parish probably feel happy to hamper our progress as much as possible. That’s why we still get those regulations that are foremost in place to hurt us.

I hope Susanna Reid gave Parish crabs.

Dinner is served chez Toonpack