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The most epic story of the year so far.

That second one is the old maritime signal flag for send bandages.

Waiting for news of @Howmanheyman’s shift pattern like

Sammy, if I get some boardroom influence I'm going to have a disabled spot and one for their helper permanently reserved for @thebrokendoll and I'm going to have the big screen linked to @RobinRobin's phone so he can put appropriate GIFs on throughout the game, such as ... .... For when CT needs the bog just to let people keep an eye out for him passing by.

I made it very clear in the Palace thread that I was only temporarily ceding control of the match threads. Then I remembered I couldn't give a fuck so crack on.

I'm not saying that video was the reason that fucker tried to declare martial law, but I bet it was.

Next week, a wandering MLF sees a deckchair on Blackpool Beach. A 75 page thread ensues

“safc air freshener” The most redundant product ever made.

I intend to do same, I'll have a box exclusively for Toontastic members, given likely demand I'll have to run a ballot for who can go, therefore each Toontastic member shall receive 5 free ballot entries per game * *T&C's apply Terms and Conditions - HMHM and BD will get one each just for the glorious fume.

Remember when we wanted Nunez and got Isak instead? Good times. We got a worldie and they got a sunbed Andy Carroll for the same money

You take Salah out that side last night and they struggle to create anything imo

Funny how it's being called the best game of the season when Amazon were telling us at HT that it was a drab affair purely because their beloved Liverpool were by far second best.

Gemmill: “Hey HMHM, you at work on Saturday” HMHM: “Nah mate am off graft” Gemmill: “Would you be interested in walking my dog between 3 and 5 Sat afternoon? I’ll pay you handsomely, that’d be work wouldn’t it?”

“Ah meayn, the wadnt compareuh to Nissan, marra, but it was cleyahly a classy playuce cuz it had two car parks! Mebbeyuz it’s cuz horseless vehyiclez are still magical to us, but ah wiz just blown awayuh that in such a modern thing tha wuz a fan of massive lads. FTM, MLF, PLO, IRA an’ that”

I assume Louise Taylor's editor is one of the staff striking at the Guardian. That fucking sentence.

Can't wait til he's got a hair horseshoe. It'll be nice for ewerk to see someone like him making their way in the world too. Good to have a positive role model.

Ciaoman, if I ever win a substancial sum of money, highly unlikely, I'm purchasing a corporate box at SJP for a season and paying you and Toonpack to mind it for me - hope you're available?

Schar’s finish was class by the way. On his wrong foot, ridiculous angle, from a lofted, bending 30-40 yard pass.

"SALAH!! OH SO SLICK!"

Stands aside for NO MAN. Especially not one that carries his in a matchbox.

He was at least the length of Wilson's cock offside, which according to Mrs Wykik is quite a margin!

An equaliser is by definition a come from behind goal. You'll be talking about us getting the "go-ahead goal" soon, yankee boy.

I've woken up feeling good. Yeh we got a point when we should have had 3 but a point against them cunts when we scored so late. We put in a proper performance and aye buzzing. Let's take this onto the next game.

ASM with twice the number of flags.

Sandro has been immense the last three games he’s started. Has to stay in the side

From Craig Hope’s weekly gossip column…. this is how bored I am with Bournemouth v Spurs 😆

Well marras I was in the lower south western quarter of Blackpool just heading in to the mowest expensivist tapas bar I could find, win this grayevy stained cunt of a deck chair came blowing past iz. I just stood in front of the bassa and windmilled the cunt so hard I busted me wankin fist. The police were so impressed they airlifted me to hospital and gave me a bionic hand. Now am the mayor of Blackpool coz they aal hate the mags. FTM

The best bit is he’s a professional footballer but the bit with the ball is definitely CGI. But the dancing appears to be real

Their ground must fucking reek on a match day for them to be branding their own air fresheners.

Showing my age, but I can not think of Brentford without hearing Alan Freeman selling their static riddled bedding. So, 5-0. Brace from Emperor Roscoe and John Peel, with a winner from Diddy Davis Hamilton.

I have always got grads to do hand calcs over modelling in software. Once they can do it by hand then I shall teach them how to model to make it efficient. That way you can see if something is wrong. Otherwise its shit in shit out. At one company they didnt want that approach, they wanted them to get stuff out ASAP. So one kid modelled a building, it went out. I was asked to check it as it was about to go on site. The steel fabby was saying he could shave off 75t! The client was playing high hell. I went on and loadings were wrong etc. Thankfully it was well overdesigned, I have had it the other way too when it's been under designed. Thankfully I got that very early on and managed to steer the lad in the right direction

Probably not a huge shock that he isn’t Mourinho’s cup of tea

Where the fuck were you last night? Cunt.

Unfortunately, we are now at a point where what we got last night is as good as it is going to get for the standard of refereeing. Do I think it is acceptable? No. However, in the scheme of things, it has been the best we have seen in a while.

It's the way things are going in many sectors. I don't think people are being honest with themselves about the impact AI is going to have, we're looking at a complete revolution in how we work and the early evidence is its not going to be good. Me personally, I feel like I'm surfing a wave and just trying to get to the retirement finish line before it breaks. Nowt else you can do.

In the post match interview he admitted he was just trying to keep it in / put it back into the danger area. Which was very honest given it looked like he knew exactly what he was doing / meant it. Although it was a superb bit of technique anyway

No solicitation in the match thread please.

Riding Scotty, big difference. The irony is I rage at cunts that cross unbroken lines - u-turns, overtaking, etc, so I probably deserve it, although the other traffic was stationary and I could see 50 metres up the road, which was clear, I even said to the copper, I was in the wrong but thought it was better than being in the clear zone - he was just a twat with a gun unfortunately. He made a point of mentioning the brand of bike I was riding, which stinks of he thinks I have money. And thanks, TV production is dying a death. What use to be a job requiring technical skills as well as creativity, is soon to be usurped by AI and talentless kids. Wages have been the same for about ten years which is ridiculous, and my wage was worth more 20 years ago, when you consider the cost of living now.

Bruno was moved to the right-sided number 8 role and chips in with two assists against the league leaders, including that lush through ball for Isak’s thunder bastard, the type of ball he thrives on and has been mostly starved of all season. Sandro looked great again mopping up behind him at DM. I hope this is the midfield we use going forwards. It was the perfect balance of creativity and industry. Liverpool had more of the ball but mostly it was in their part of the pitch - we won the midfield battle. Let’s see if Bruno playing the more advanced role helps unlock the creativity we’ve been missing in central areas for what feels like forever.

How's spaniel tits and Tory cunt today? Gutted nee doubt the fucking cunts. What's happened to Pearson too? Has Gemmill kidnapped him?

I have several different personalities.

I'll let him have an assist, PL, it'll be good for his confidence.