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"Welcome to the Etihad for Manchester City versus Liverpool and we'd just like to apologise to any viewers who may have heard or seen another game earlier on. Again, we can only apologise for interrupting your Liverpool football club build up but under contractual obligations we have to show it. Anyway, now for the main event...."

Jacob Murphy. It worked lads, assist Toontastic.

🎶 1 (to us), 2, 3 ,4, 5, Newcastle up to fifth Matt Selz is dire 🎶

If Malenkovich wasn’t a decent footballer he’d be at home in Serbia shooting his neighbours 😑

Is Guimarães his married name?

I

Wykiki, tell your brother in law to FUCK OFF.

Blimey, didn't know that was a nickname he'd earned

Three points in the bag, utter shit 2nd half and I’ve been saying it for months ….STOP FUCKING ON at the back …just launch the cunt and get us up the pitch and regroup. Going forward we’re a match for anyone, so stop encouraging teams onto us by pissing about ffs.

The regular fall offs we have, regardless of the results are a concern. 4-1 up and forest having to take the game to us which really isn't their strength but we gave them plenty of encouragement. Fresh blood is desperately needed if we want to carry on these European challenges and challenges for cups, there's players who are definitely coming to the end of their time here as well as they've done for us, really don't want to limp in the end of the season when we are where we are in league and cups. Wilson was horrific when he came on and I'm talking about strengths of his like his strength in physical tussles, Schar is showing signs of decline and tbh the arsenal game wasn't the norm for Tripps these days. Big summer ahead and I'm quietly confident we'll do well out of it but it's a bit frustrating that this season is up for grabs but we're creaking a bit.

Done

CT funding organised crime. Nice.

Wilson was absolutely wretched, couldn't hold the ball up, looked softer than a muffin. Of course he hardly distinguished himself in awfulness, that entire half was truly diabolical. We've well and truly escaped.

That was an horrific second half

Could have won 6-3 if Wilson put his fucking head up

It was their fault tbf. They were all better than him.

We look like we’ve downed tools. Time to make some changes and keep players fresh for Wednesday.

"Ref!! REF!!!!"

I never thought I’d be happy to see Selz have another shit game at SJP but here we are.

Cancel the three points, sky not sure if it was a free kick leading eventually to our equaliser. Sad face emoji.

Just send him this:

3 points off 3rd. If we'd won some of the daft games we've lost this season man. CL wouldn't even be in doubt.

Like the old Willock that run

Forest getting bummed at their own game here. Quick counter attacks.

Who was worried about this lot? 4-1

“My lass”

Wilson should never get a run out again based on today. Two chances to put the game to bed and the daft greedy cunt put himself over the team. I fully accept that the above will bite me on the arse and look forward to it. Hopefully, in the final.

Ha! Didn’t go!

Listen fuck face I’m putting up with all this shit for the sake of tradition. If you want me to post my true, positive happy go lucky forecasts in the pre match thread, then on your head be it!!

I've heard his house is the first house the shoplifters knock on.

I told you all we down tools at 42 mins. Weve played in patches this season. We could have easily just kept the ball, frustrated them and got a couple of goals in the counter. We just aren’t drilled to be a possession based team.

They get to lick fannies while we're kissing badges? This needs a rewrite.

Wilson had a shit cameo here, should have found Tonali instead lost the ball, then did the same with Gordon streaking into space. All that matter is that we won, but fucking hell after that first half it should not have been that difficult.

Fucking scandalous that from Gillet. Just prepared to play until they'd had another chance.

The ball was sucked into the gravitational pull of Murillo's head.

Burn

We need some fresh energy out there

Gibbs White and his fucking Lou Bega tache man. the amount of effort that must go into maintaining that piece of shit.

.... When I hear hinchcliffe talk shite I chip Matt Sels I chip Matt Sels, I chip Matt Sels I honestly do 🎵

@Howmanheyman Full Divinyls lyric with the hookline "Isak dinked the ball and it touched Matz Sels" by the end of half-time please, thanks in advance

Who put the goaly in the forest net… Alexander Isaac

Stonewall penalty. Why the fuck do you need to see it 43 times!

think is confidence is a bit shot after that error

Aye. He is very talented and it actually looked like he put a proper shift in yesterday. It’s all in his head. I doubt Gordon will ever get anywhere near 30 goals in a season. Rashford got Ten Haag in CL almost single handedly 3 seasons ago. However the past two seasons his application has been absolutely stinking.

1.85 v 0.41 xG in the Everton v Man United game btw. They are the spawniest cunts going.

My lass is watching Location Location Location here. She's just fired up a Newcastle episode, and Charlotte from True Faith (affectionately known as Spaniel's Lugs by the TT MISOGYNY CLUB) is on it as a first time buyer. Gets a mention of True Faith in in the very first segment.