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"Which one of you is Simon Bird?" "Ah bucked ya ma, yi daft cunt" "Nah, seriously though. Eddie's canny ill at the minute like." "Got the clap from rifling Birdy's ma."

Just like everyone else in Liverpool then.

I have had no media for almost a month. I am not a gambler but I found four unscratched lottery tickets. The third one I scratched, I fucking won $25,000. The Mrs. and myself have had quite the adventure since. We made our way back home last night. First we flew off to Vancouver and went to Whistler, British Columbia and spent two weeks on the mountain. Then flew to Kingston for four nights and then finished off in Nassau, Bahamas. From there we went to Seattle for a night and then rented a car and drove the complete highway 101. This morning I awoke, fired up the youtube and sat back and watched the match and parade. Unbelievable scenes! I am so proud of the club and the players. Absolute legends. I have the biggest smile I have had in a long time.

Hell on. Obviously.

"Do you want to report a UFO, over?...... Do you want to report a UFO. Over?" "What's that? Over." "It's an 'Unidentifiable Football Overview' by the Fish. Over." "Errr, negative, I wouldn't know what to say?"

They’re a nation with lots of selfish, self important cunts*. There’s a lot a people who voted for Trump because they’re fully onboard cult members. But there’s an awful lot too who simply didn’t give a fuck what he did as long as it didn’t harm them and they paid less taxes. Tough shit * I know that’s a bit rich coming from someone from England btw.

Cole Palmer can't spell disagree.

I'm going to take the view if they're officially announced I'll get excited/pissed off otherwise it's all shite. If I've never heard of the player signed then I'll see how they get on under our coaching.

This should cheer them up

I fucking hope not. Jumbo jet "We're on approach" Fish "No worries (checks notes) you've got plenty of room"

Our name came up again with McCoist and the commentator talking about us beating Rangers, winning the fairs cup then winning the league cup a couple of weeks ago. Bilbao black cat: "That's got fuck all to do with this match!!! Why dint ya mention the lads giving them tha strips and almust certainly founding their club? Eh? Mention Sunalin! Go on! Mention the lads, ah dare ya! Ah double dare ya! FTM!!"

Leazes wanting rid of Anelka before we’d signed him btw

Mbemo. I mean fucking hell.

You evil genius.

I don't want DCL on whatever wages he'd command, for how ever few games he'd be available. I want Delap for £30m. Delap for £30m, Hujsen for £50m, Cunha for £63m, not a bad window that. Oh and I think we're missing the point here. It's evidently not worthwhile reporting, we should just tag @Rayvin instead.

“Nobody is left out!” The whole fucking point is that countries that aren’t good enough are left out, you tit

has the fish got a job with air traffic control?

Not to mention they are monopoly holders of rare Earth minerals the US needs that they can withhold. And although the US can reap havoc on the economy of China, the Chinese are much better equipped to deal with the pain. Also, the Chinese fucking hate Vance because he's a racist arsehole who can't keep his mouth shut either. I agree, Trump has fucked it. Only a matter of time before people turn on him but the US will NEVER be trusted again by the rest of the World which will reduce investment and speeden the decline of American hegemony.

Too high brow for you plebs

Trump has properly fucked it. The Chinese hold a significant proportion of US government bonds. Apparently it was the Japanese selling theirs off the other day that started sending yields upwards, and he had to pull the plug. He's escalating a trade war with the only country in the world that doesn't need to back down, and that can really fuck his shit up by dumping their holding. What a shame.

Watching the second half of Rangers v Bilbao, local polis hearing complaints of a man molesting the visiting fans asking them if they really hate the mags anaarl and are just pretending to like them and talking about football strips and origin myths.

Makes you think.

I also like the way that it ridicules him just by looking pretty much exactly like him

Go to the cheese factory

Currently in Hawes, N Yorkshire in the baking sunshine sat outside having a few beers. Fuck, this place is stunning 😍

"Fucking pandering to the Mags again, Kyrial! Wal not have it, am telling ya. F Tee fucking M!!!"

Because he looks absolutely gorgeous in a skirt and we're only human.

Can’t wait until there’s a Temu on every high street

It's always possible with a striker. I reckon its possible Wilson still thinks he should be starting judging by his recent huff-infused performances. And we should never forget that Nicolas Bendner thought he was the best player in the world. In my opinion, it all comes down to wages for DCL. If we could pay him 2nd/3rd striker wages then it's an interesting prospect. After that, if it doesn't work, then sell him to Juventus in January. Happy days.

🍿🍿🍿

Reported

You guys still labouring under the delusion that I was kidding about that 'check every 2 months' thing

He's a cripple and SHIT

https://cricverse.substack.com/p/knott-a-bad-cricketer?open=false @spongebob toonpants Lovely piece about Alan Knott on the occasion of his 79th birthday (I seem to recall you saying you were a big fan)

Chelsea will need to sell Cuccurella to their women’s team for 180m to finance all those signings tbh

Spot on. Can you do this again next season if we get to a final?

This is genuinely pretty accurate

No need, I have the list right here: 1) LTA - Repeat offender, reporting everything MF and Wyki posted. 2) Me - Joking around about Wyki 3) Wyki - being a fucking dirty grass.