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He’s crackers

I've also had Monkeys Fist shot just in case.

Gemmill, you really do watch some amount of shite on Youtube. I just have to sit back and admire the lengths you’ll go to/the shit you’ll watch, just to avoid doing any work. Please keep watching so we don’t have to.

I'm struggling to work out why you would consider even giving them that much encouragement? he's our player and he's contracted to be so for another 3 years. I don't think it'd be wildly inaccurate to assume they've been in his ear for months now, very probably since wembley and maybe that's the reason his form dropped off a cliff at the back end of last season. do you think if their great friends man utd had very obviously and publicly been trying to unsettle salah for weeks they'd be exchanging pleasantries with them? we should tell the stupid bindipping cunts in no uncertain terms to FUCK OFF.

I watched all the England games with my daughter, as a subtle way to get her into football and stop her moaning every time I watch Newcastle on the tv. The promise of letting her stay up to watch the games helped. My dad did the same to me when I was a kid, dragging me to the pub for champions league nights… She was loving it by the end, continually moaning about every decision that went against England, despite my protestations that refereeing is a really hard job, they don’t get to see the action replays, etc. Her celebrations at the end were a mini version of how I felt after the league cup final 🤣 I’ve never understood the quality argument and how that has any impact on enjoying a game of football or supporting your team. I used to go see Cardiff City every other week when they were in the old third division; I’ve supported Newcastle for 30 years and there was very little quality on display for a lot of those. I enjoyed watching the England women more than watching the England men’s team’s superstars stutter their way through another tournament, just to fall short again at the end.

It really is an utter disgrace and probably should be challenged legally on anti- competitive grounds. The idea that a club backed by PIF needs the same guard rails as say Palace or Brentford to ensure financial stability is ridiculous. However I suspect that nobody except the likes of us and Villa actually give a shit. Certainly enough clubs are voting for the status quo to ensure the Cartel continues to dominate. Maybe they don't think they'll ever be in a position to challenge so they want to keep us in the also rans.

If we can’t call ourselves Geordies or Mags, should we have a poll asking what nickname we’d like to be known as… … or would that just come across as fucking desperate?

Ahh, I've been wondering what CT was holding that time preBrexit he went on Euro tour and stopped off at TSG Hoffenheim. 👍

Newcastle scouts watch Neville Southall to solve an issue that doesn’t exist after Southall dropped a kebab from a high stool and managed to hit the deck and catch it without spilling his chips.

BREAKING: HERE WE GO. Ramsdale signs for Leeds after NUFC could not meet transfer fee.

I read that and it's worded in a very careful way. It's the biggest indication yet that it all might fall through. No bid from the scousers yet. This Jacobs is another one getting his content direct from the Anfield media relations team, doing negotiations in public it would seem but going behind NUFCs back to speak to the player in person while he's still got 3 years left on his contract 😑

If you aren't careful you're going to have us believe that you don't much care for Liverpool or it's inhabitants. There are all of these subtle hints I'm starting to see.

There's a plaster cast of his cock inside. Standard procedure for footballers at German clubs.

You lads do words good.

I wish some fucker would push that Italian cunt off the top the italia telecom tower and say... 'there you go fab'

Southampton want a higher fee? Fucking hell man, we can’t even buy shite efficiently.

I just hope that the club is really strong in dealings with Liverpool. Tell them the amount we want and tell them the date we want it by, and if they miss either of those requirements, then that's the end of it. So £150m by this Friday. Or whatever it is. And make it very clear that these are non-negotiable. At the minute, we're not in contract talks with him, so we're just sitting around wondering while the player skips pre-season. That's totally unacceptable, so a line needs drawing under this one way or the other. And it needs to happen quickly. I honestly don't know why we haven't done something like this. We look weak as fuck just waiting for the big lads to make their mind up and come and take our player whenever they feel like it, and hoping they'll maybe go away and let us keep him if we're nice and quiet. Zero reaction from anyone above Howe. That's what's pissing me off more than what Isak is doing.

Aye, plus the World Cup is next summer. Personally I'd refuse any offer this summer and offer him a new contract on improved terms with a release clause and if he wants to go next year then so be it.

why wouldn’t anyone want to join the greatest club, in the best location in the world?

Fuck off Alex tbh. I am really disappointed how this played out tbh. I thought he and us were better than this. But I think that even if it does cost us money the club needs to stamp its foot. Clubs and players have made us look inept and humiliated us. It’s the worst outcome after our best season in decades but we have to prove not to get hold to ransom both as a buying as well as selling club.

A dining room chair wedged against the door handle, his chopper in the hoover. Then he remembers the door opens in and he gets caught giving it Paul Gallagher style to Henry.

Absolutely wild to be watching porn on the big telly. What a beast this man is.

This is how I'll get awarded the MBE.

Yes it’s definitely worded to give the (almost certainly false) impression that Liverpool have been behaving in an honourable way and have played no part in unsettling the player.

GDC "Glaswegians don't count" You'll have to ask KCG why he chose to settle among those fuckin beasts. My own theories will stay under wraps for the time being

No, you are missing the point. I'm not saying that he's receiving advice from "everyone", I'm saying that it is widely accepted that he is one of the best in the world. It's also a statement of fact that he's not being paid in line with the best in the world. And that his chances of being rewarded for his abilities in the form of tangible success are improved elsewhere. It's therefore not greed to want that to be rectified. I don't like for a second what's going on, and I think he could definitely have handled it better, but only by a) telling us sooner in the window, and b) not dropping out of his duties while he's still at the club. The desire to leave is fairly understandable though, as unfortunate and unpalatable as that is for all of us.

Let's be honest, if he's in black and white the stick lasts until he scores. We're thick as fuck with short memories us football fans

the murdering cunts could’ve invited him round for a plate of scouse slop. we can still tell them to fuck off.

I’ve written a strongly worded discourse about wankers rights to a local MP. *cropped for the Puritans.

Yeah if you look at the teams that finished 8th to 14th last season they all think if we have a good season we can sneak some form of European place - the last thing they want is a guaranteed top 8 or 9 that excludes them. Useful idiots.

It's a different sport, if you accept that you may be able to enjoy it. Personally I enjoyed the penalty shootbout, it was quite funny. I'm not convinced that any of the elite women would be good enough to get into a professional men's side at any level though. That's just biology.

the bbc's gossip column is linking us with a move for jesus, mitrovic and dcl this morning. it may very well be easy, lazy journalism but when added to the likes of jackson etc then its all becomes laughable I think. I'll make an exception for sesko as I don't think I've ever seen either him or his team mates at leipzig kick a ball in me life. he.might be canny. meanwhile.... here we are, a club owned by the richest cunts on the planet who already owns one of the best strikers that lives on it. he's contracted here for another 3 years. we've been consistently told we have no psr concerns for this transfer window. we could probably cover the wage increase he'd be offered elsewhere if silverstone bothered his arse to find a stadium sponsor. we have a canny team and if eales had employed a dof that hung about for more than 10 minutes we'd probably (and still could) be looking forward starting the coming season with a better one. we have champions league football to offer. and yet there's every liklihood this week we'll receive a bid for our best player and at some point accept it. a bid by the vilest club on the planet who should've been kicked out of football permanently in 1985 it'll be first time our resolve and stated ambition to be competitive will have been tested and we'll roll over and have our bellies tickled. it's not laughable actually, it's fucking pathetic.

You need to consider how many US owners there of PL clubs now, they will all be hanging out for when the cartel want to raise the draw bridge on promotion/relegation. Easier and more money to be made for owners if they are guaranteed to be in the "biggest league in the world" regardless of where they finish.

Just had a look at a thread on reddits "theother14" sub. Newcastle fan asking if anyones having a good window considering we appear to be having a terrible one. No one except leeds fans seem entirely happy. PSR working exactly as intended.

I'm genuinely gutted that hero in the ford galaxy didn't get himself a panzer VIII maus and drive round and round in ever increasing circles until he flattened the entire fucking shithole of a city and all the candle lighting, self pitying cunts that inhabit it.

Porn is significantly more terrifying on a bigger screen like. Especially when you’ve got 3D glasses on. Dodging spunk like Neo from The Matrix

I'd be telling Liverpool to get in Romano's ear to sabotage the Man Utd bid if they want any chance of getting Isak

Maybe he hates his wife so filling a skip is preferable? Just realised in saying that, is his wife your sister?