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We'd like to offer whatever you'll accept minus £10m.

"Chairman, I must speak. I can be silent no longer. All day long you muttered to yourself, gibbered, dribbled, moaned and bat your head against the wall, yelling “I want to die”. Now you may say I’m leaping to conclusions but you’re not completely happy, are you? It’s new signings and Isak, isn’t it?" "No, it is not." "You’re brooding over the hot Mitchell summer, aren’t you?" "Kate, for the final time, your hot Mitchell summer was a figment of Gemmill's imagination like Everton's relegation." "Dear Chairman I know you only say such things to comfort me." "Your ex-DoF is alive and well and living in Droitwich. It is not him I brood over. I’m sad because, my darling, our poverty has now reached such extremes that I can no longer afford to keep Isak. I must look to my own dear tiny darling to sustain the club in our frail dotage." "But Chairman, surely…" "Yes Kate, I want to sell your football team off for the lads."

I think you stand to get your heart broken based on how our window has gone so far

Sell the lasses Sell the lasses SELL THE LASSES FOR THE LADS SELL THE LA-SSES FOR THE LADS

What’s Hope achieving by mentioning that he got pied off at PIF “HQ” Proper Partridge. He’s got some tickets on himself, the moon faced clown

I don't get all the hate around Ramsdale. If you ask me, he's a keeper.

Someone in the club, be it Eddie or whatever we have left of staff in charge, best person would be the chairman Yasir because it sends a real message; needs to, as toonotl said, issue a statement saying "Isak is not for sale" and also add "no formal bid or even contact from Liverpool has been received." They then need to call out the fact that they are obviously trying to tap him up and report this inappropriate behaviour to the PL, as other clubs have done in times previous. Only way to start beating all the cunts of the world, from politicians to despicable celebrities to the football cartel, is to start publicly calling them out for what they are, lying cheating cunts - it's not like the owners of NUFC have anything to fear from these people.

Perhaps a 9th goalkeeper is not a resonable use our time and resources, but we're going to do it anyway.

I don't see the point of any goalkeeper deal unless it's a one which demotes pope to 2nd choice.

In that case relocating to Liverpool wouldn’t be the smartest move.

should've just asked me. I work for them.

And let’s be honest here, if anyone on this board is going to unearth said knacker’s Isak content, it’s going to be you.

It's fucking massive inside

I think the anger is misplaced. We’re not prioritising a GK at the expense of an outfield player, it’s in addition to the outfield players we’re trying/failing to sign.

Using xG to support Gemmill's argument against the anti-xG crowd's argument against Gemmill ... 10/10 shithousery.

I'd never make it that far. It barely gets passed my belly button normally.

its also worth noting that your own already outlandish musings have become increasingly more surreal since the medical cannabis kicked in.

Mitchell’s red hot summer

He's obviously been tapped up behind the scenes by Liverpool. It's win/win from their point of view because either he joins them, or we have a player who has mentally left and won't perform heading into the season. For that reason alone I would like the chairman to come out and say that Liverpool and their media cronies have acted like cunts and under no circumstances will we sell Isak to them. I don't know how this is going to play out but we'll probably cave in and give Liverpool what they want. Then we'll end up with a bargain bin striker and half a squad, a pissed off manager and demotivated players heading into the new season. So Liverpool get stronger and we get fucked over, it's fucking disgraceful from club. Whatever happens now this close season has been a disaster. The so-called big 6 have picked off every player we've been interested in and our star striker is on strike. I blame Eales and Mitchell for this mess and I can see why Mitchell legged it, he obviously knew what was brewing with Isak and it sounds like he was responsible.

Wonderful stuff, once again. It’s truly amazing the pictures AI can produce these days.

"Adam! Where you going? You better have tidied that bedroom up!" "I'm going to interview Isak and ask him why he's going! God!! Am'a not allowed to do anything round here!?!" [Stomps down the stairs]

toonpack puts his gaf up for rental...

We cant sign any fucker

Yeah, we should check if Allison is available on loan with an option to buy. Good shout.

We don't though. We have a keeper of 33 and another of 36 and then no one any of us would ever want to see start a game. We're sigining a 27 year old to address that. Total no brainer.

I'm not sure how you've managed to pinpoint exclusively to the 90s mind.

Exactly. Aye we've got loads of keepers but you wouldn't want any of them to start a game other than Pope or Dubravka. Dubravka is 36 and approaching the end of his career. It's a perfectly sensible move to replace him this window for minimal cash outlay and with no obligation to even buy the replacement if it doesn't work out. What were seeing here is the CLEAR evidence of tbd's excessive drug use in the 90s. And it's very worrying.

So we don't replace the keeper that turns 37 during the season unless the replacement is also better than Pope? There's fucking loads to moan about at the minute but getting Ramsdale in on loan is WAY down the list.

"Working"

Jolly Roger's property emporium. If you've got the rooms, we'll make you dubloons.

Do not belittle my achievement.

This is what we've been reduced to...

Genuinely some of the best detective work I've ever done. Now I know what it feels like when the DNA comes back a match for the killer.

This man I can believe.

The difference being Hayden hasn't dropped in form, he was just never very good. He should never have been given a long contract extension. Jamal Lewis and Jeff Hendrick were of a similar ilk. As bad as this Summer has been, it's not a patch on the Ashley years.

Yeah, and then followed up with: "Mind, her husband was a sucker too, and I don't mean he gave good blow jobs".

you made Elanga cry. I hope you’re proud of yourself.

I think we still have to take opportunities to buy when people become available. IMO That's what Ramsdale is. I thought he was treated harshly by Arsenal and I think he's a decent keeper. Is he better than Pope? I'm not too sure. Would be interested in reading @strawb comments about him.

Aye saves you a Ballache 🤣

tbh I don't really know how to respond to this because it seems like you have read what I said but not really understood what I was saying with it at all.

FWIW I thought it was brilliant. While they clearly cannot compete physically with men, there is significant skill on show. I see that Lucy Bronze played the whole tournament with a fractured tibia, so not exactly weak, either. For all those saying that the goals are too big, Hampton saved 2 on target, so perhaps they aren't too big. More relevantly, though, the crowds were full of young girls and their families who will hopefully play football in the future (*) and the Government are committed to providing better facilities for them. Also, watching the crowds going to the game, it was refreshing to see it done in an orderly, respectful manner. Had it been the England men's team, we know how that would have looked. * and we can then sell the women's team for billions to ease PSR.

I want us to offer Isak a new contract if it works for us. Every possibility should be kept open to maximise the potential benefit to us. I agree with Gloomy (as per usual he's the voice of reason): Isak is an outlier and his situation (like every situation tbh) is unique. I don't see it setting any sort of precedent here or elsewhere. At least not necessarily as some sort of logic puzzle solution to "do X" because "Isak did Y". It's not that black and white. Not offering him a contract could lead to him refusing to play, playing poorly for innumerable reasons, lower squad morale overall if certain players agree with him that he was promised a new contract, etc., etc., etc. There's so many possibilities. Just saying, we should "do X" to set an example isn't really a reasonable response to the situation. Like the desire to give a "offer us X by Friday, grrrrrrr, we're in charge" ultimatum, refusing him a contract point blank could (and likely would) blow up in our faces completely. It's as if nobody has ever dealt with a cornered animal before. If we leave Isak or Liverpool with no option but to fight us, then that's what they'll likely do. And we will probably lose because they have money and the media on their side. Part of becoming a big club is making the right decision here, playing it cool, and not going off half-cocked because "we won't be pushed around". Cool heads prevail here imo. Edit: I should also say that I want the chairman to say, "Isak is not for sale". Kitman is spot on. That's the right approach. Simple, direct. Done. Whether it's true or a piece of rhetoric? Well, that's for Liverpool to figure out with the help of their bank account. Their ploy to "not offer until they know we're willing to sell" is a negotiating tactic. Let them find out the hard way what "not for sale" really means in pounds stirling.

When i got the snip I arrived at the GP surgery and there were 2 rooms. As I waited my turn chaps were emerging from one fairly quickly. The other one just had the sounds of groans coming from it and nobody coming out of it. Trust my fucking luck that was the fella I had and wasnt long out of uni. 45 mins into the procedure I asked if he was nearly done and having difficulty getting the tubes pulled out to cut and he said he was still on the first one so he ended up getting the other doctor in the other room after I nearly fell off the table getting another injection of anaesthetic down there. Older chap came in and I translated his professional remark as "why the fuck are you cutting up so high?!"... 10 mins later the job was done after the older chap took over. Took a good 2-3 weeks for the pain to go down, still have swelling on that side... Apart from that it was grand.

Porn is significantly more terrifying on a bigger screen like. Especially when you’ve got 3D glasses on. Dodging spunk like Neo from The Matrix