smoggeordie

Everything about it is wonky

Ashley demands answers from Shepherd Mike Ashley's team of trouble-shooters will demand an explanation over contractual clauses that have left Sam Allardyce fearing he could be powerless to stop Michael Owen and Obafemi Martins leaving St James's Park this summer. And Freddie Shepherd will be expected to provide the answers after a disgruntled former United manager Graeme Souness insisted that, during his reign, the Newcastle chairman was alone in determining the manner in which transfer deals were structured. With Ashley's £133m takeover nearing completion, the billionaire is planning to conduct an all-encompassing review as he seeks to get a handle on the manner in which the club operates. Reports that, like Owen, Martins had a release clause inserted in his contract when he joined the club from Inter Milan last summer will bemuse the big-spending businessman's assessors and give them an obvious starting point. The 22-year-old's advisers are understood to have negotiated a £13m buy-out option and, although such stories remain uncorroborated, there has been no denial from club officials. It is unclear from where the leak came - although suggestions that Martins is agitating for a move to Juventus appear unfounded. The Nigerian this week pledged his future to United and has told those close to him he is content in the North-East. Martins is understood to be relishing the chance to join forces with Mark Viduka following the Australian's arrival from Middlesbrough, having spent last season without significant striking support. But revelations that a clause exists will offer renewed hope to those who covet his talents. The Journal revealed last month that Juve are keen to offer him a route back to Serie A, although Claudio Ranieri's arrival to succeed Didier Deschamps has clouded the issue. Chelsea and Arsenal have long been credited with an interest in Martins and, while the player is adamant that he does not want to leave St James's Park, such offers would be tempting. It is understood that Allardyce was unaware such a situation existed. Having sought talks with Owen - a £17m signing available for £9m - in an attempt to persuade him to remain in the North-East, he will have to do the same with Martins. Yet he will be aware that should the respective clauses be triggered, he will be unable to do anything to keep the pair in on Tyneside. With Ashley's staff preparing to engage in a `thorough, objective, strategic review' of the club's business practices, the reason such clauses were agreed will be a pertinent subject for discussion. Such talks could prove uncomfortable. Shepherd remains in office as Newcastle's chairman - despite his decision to sell his 28% stake in the club last week - although his position remains unclear. The trouble-shooting process will examine his role at St James's Park. The manner in which transfer dealings are conducted will also be scrutinised, with particular emphasis on the conditions in Owen's contract that could see United make an £8m loss on his transfer fee. It was Souness who signed the striker, although he will not take the blame. Having been implicated in the Quest report into alleged transfer irregularities, the furious Scot has insisted his career could be ruined - accusing investigators of blackening his name without having the evidence to back up their claims. Souness is adamant that he played no part in the club's transfer negotiations and has claimed it was Shepherd who decided which players were bought and sold during their ill-fated association. "In my time at Newcastle, one man and one man alone decided what player came to the club and what player left, and it was not the manager - it was the chairman," he said. Souness also criticised Shepherd's son, Kenneth, who was also named in the Quest report. He added: "I'm not even sure why he was there. He's basically a fan who just happens to be the chairman's son." Meanwhile, Allardyce is hoping to discover whether his bid to bring David Rozehnal to St James's Park has been a success this afternoon, with the player's agent last night insisting a decision is imminent. Borussia Dortmund are no longer interested in the Paris-Saint Germain stopper, but with Seville having made a late attempt to secure his services, Newcastle still face considerable competition. Allardyce is determined to add defensive strength to his first-team squad and Steven Taylor's ankle ligament problem has increased the need to made a breakthrough.

It's alright. Very bland.

Where's he going like? Sam said he wouldn't play a few games while he recovered from the Asia Cup

Used to have it on the "University" of Teesside advert

Well since Viduka is missing the first few weeks of the season I think you all might have to change a bit... Given Solano Rozenhal Taylor Baines Milner Barton Butt Zog Martins Shola

Final is on the same day as Villa as home

Congratulations to Durham CCC for reaching the final. Just got back from CLS, great afternoon out.

No. So you say that you, NSG and Rocker are ITK, but have no examples to prove it? I revealed the new home kit to NO a month before it was released on .cock

He'll be off in January. Doesn't get the "he should feel guilty" shite because he's played 6 months. Best non europe cup tied striker in europe. Still get 9+ mill for him. Gives us time to identify a new target.

Happy birthday fella. Recovered from the party yet?

Man walks up to Michael Barrymore and says: "You doing panto this year" . . . . . . . . . . . He replies: "Nar mate, I did Aladdin 6 years ago and i'm still paying for it!"

www.ohmelads.com

Gonna win the leagueeeeeeeee One of my mums relatives took a hat trick for england in a test match My brothers mate bowled out Chris Cairns 2 days ago in the Cambridge Vs Lashings match

Agreed. Was only a matter of time before their best players got sick of playing in front of rows and rows of empty seats.

They've been absolutely Merc'd tbh.

It's official he's signed:

Since when did we copyright Nicky Butt?

Sam just caught him nicking Dyer's car. "Nee need to break in fella, I'll fetch the keys."

aye about 10-15 mins walk at a good pace. You can see it from the train line as you come in. You going to the test match like?

A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes, and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the Doctor asked him, "What happened to you?" "Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our golf balls into a field of cattle. We went to look for them and while I was looking around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end." "I walked over, lifted its tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it - stuck right in the middle of the cow's fanny. Still holding the cow's tail up, I yelled to my wife, "Hey, this looks like yours!'" . . . . I don't remember anything after that.

Milners vs Bham should be about 10 places higher. Higher than Emres against Reading for me as well.

We're on to our 3rd Sky+ box. Both stopped recording stuff and said it had recorded.