Alright, this is going to get a little lengthy so i'll apoloigse in advance, but this has been a long past few years with everything leading up to this one point where im literally a few words away from making the best/ or worst decision i have yet to make - and i feel the more info i give the better the response could be.
I've been working as a factory handler in a small town i live in for about 4 years now, it started of as a 'mindless job to save up some cash' but has become the sole thing that dictates my life, and everything i do within it.
I'd lived away from home and been made redundant prior to getting this job, and as such had to move back in with my parents, and start searching for ANYTHING that would produce money.
When i was given a position for the company I was overjoyed, and gladly accepted as much responsibility as possible, eager to show that i could surpass expectations.
I took on the fastest paced and most physical job in the department, and though the hours were bad (1pm - 11pm) i had nothing else going for me besides work, so i relished in the cash and moved on with it.
After a year and a half the 'honeymoon' was over and i began to feel like i was not really achieving anything, i began looking into different roles within the company but of course, as with any 'step-up' job there is little chance for anyone bar the person they want before the position is even vacant.
Around that point the dept. manager that hired me left to manage his own company, and the replacement... well she's the worst person i've met in my life - she absolutely despises me for some reason, has the worst management skills i've ever seen, and to top it all off, has me by the balls and i feel there's fuck all i can do about it.
She has no idea how to handle people or employees, and makes the dodgy procedures of the company glaringly obvious! she frequently runs out of the buildign crying whenever things get too much for her and will always 'shout first and get the facts later' about any situation - twinned witht he fact that she has no idea about how any of the jobs we do actually work / are to experience, yet constantly changes the procedures and methods of doing them and you get a clusterfuck of a work life.
All this time i was still looking for other jobs - however in the town i live in there is LITERALLY about 4 places of work, and they very rarely (if ever) hire - there's very few places within sensible travel distance, and with the current work climate any that are available dry up real quick.
It was then that everything at home went to shit, my long term (8 years) girlfriend had been hinting at moving out together - but I didnt want to tie myself to the company any more than necessary, and having more bills would definitely add to that.
I found out my dad had been stealing from me for years and using it to pay off random debts he had accrued without anyone in the family knowing. I had stupidly in my youth got a store credit card and purchased some items on it, as a 'way of making sure that it gets paid off as i can't be trusted' he said i should give him an extra 150 quid per month on top of the 250 month rent i gave, being my dad i trusted him.
This became the norm for well over a year or so until one day my credit statement that he normally recieved and filed away came into my posession, and there had been no payments made towards it - i'd been throwing half my paycheck at him for nearly 2 years and he'd outright lied to me.
I lost a hell of a lot of respect and honestly didn't know how to react. I didn't have long to think about it, it acted as a catalyst for a lot of sunken shit to flare up, my mother cheated on him repeatedly and he found out, when she moved out he went nuts and tried to burn the flat down she had relocated to - he was arrested.
Now i had no family in the area to rely on (bar my mother but she was hardly stable) and regrettably, decided that moving out with my girlfriend was the only real solution to try and keep shit afloat.
Things at work under that manager got worse and worse, she switched me onto the most ridiculously mind numbing job in the building (sitting isolated in a dark windowless aisle, scanning cardigans onto a shelf for 9 hours straight) and brought in 4 of her employees from the last dept she worked at to do the job i had done before.
4 of them - to do what i had done solo.
She started finding reasons and methods to give me warnings and constantly compared me to the lads she had brought in (despite the fact that between them they dont even cover half the tasks i managed) and any time i tried to protest, was shot down with no rhyme or reason.
At one point i was recovering from kidney stone treatment and while inserting back into work, still required frequent urination breaks while the stent tubing was in.
one of the guys complained and i was punished for 'spending too much time away from work area' when i pointed out that the lad who had dobbed me in usually takes at least 12 fag breaks a day, i was told
"at least i know he's old enough that i can trust him, he deserves more respect, and if i need ot make an example out of you, i will"
Believe me that's probably one of the LEAST stupid things shes said over the years.
At this point it all got a bit much, i was a horrible person to be around, constantly sad, constantly worrying, treating my gf (unkowingly) like shit and generally falling to bits.
After my kidney treatment i had a revelation of sorts, i needed to man up, to get out there and fucking show them that whatever they threw at me, i could handle it. I may not have a choice how work treats me, but i have full control over everything else.
I joined a gym, i took up kickboxing and kung fu,i played football in sunday and monday leagues, I made a concious effort to be as good as i possibly could - to enjoy everything outside of work so much that it didnt hit me as hard while i searched for another job.
It's been a year since i made that decision and i've never felt better - however now theres a situation coming up, in a weeks time we are moving towards the 'night shifts' working stupidly late shifts and with the ability for her to change the shift at less than 24 hours notice.
She has rejiggled the contracts so now i am working back on the job that requires late work again (whilst her 4 workers are now back on early shift jobs) and i will be the sole person working a shift that basically, will end my ability to do any of the shit that's kept me sane for the past year or so.
I've tried to reason with her and moved all my activities to one day, asking that if i could finish two hours and start two hours earlier on that day, i could still do all i wanted and she could still get her slave - even offering to stay and miss my activities at no extra charge on an individual day if needed.
No dice
All the time whilst she is manouvering everyone elses shifts to cover them from having to work the shift.
Two years ago when this happened the first time it wasnt a big deal, i had nothing really going for me and lived to work. since then i've built up a life and a better relationship, that for the next 9 months if i put up with her shit and take the shift, will be null and void until she deems it necessary for us to go back to normal work - and i honestly dont think i can do it.
I remember what it did to me the last time, and how much of a wreck i was - not seeing my girlfriend bar one day a week and throwing the past years worth of money and training down the drain just does not seem like an option im willing to explore.
I've looked at things in a 'worst case scenario' and figured financially i could cover myself for about 4/5 months without work (covering all bills) whilst looking for another job if shit got bad.
My girlfriend has said she'll support me no matter what and can afford the place on her own if need be, but i will not be the man to put her in that position - im meant to be the person she chose to make her life better, not more strenuous.
Also - those 4 months of job searching arent promising in this area, especially witht he past 3 years of searching failure to stack up against.
So - what would you guys/gals do? Do i put everything on hold and condemn myself to 9 months of hell whilst hoping for an out while working in a job that is physically, mentally takig it out of me - the way i have done til this point?
or
Do i offer my boss a halfway point, and state that if she doesnt take it, then consider it my notice, and put myself out there fully committed and hope for the best?
Sorry for the essay, but it's been a long period of time now, and i normally wouldnt even consider the latter option unless shit had been pretty ridiculous up til this point, and felt if if i threw it all out there you'd have a btter understanding.
Also im aware that it may seem like a total first world problem, and i know that we are not all unique and beautiful snowflakes, i know the majority of the population will sit in a factory doing shit they hate and leave no mark on the earth bar tax forms - and don't see myself as an exception.
But i'll be damned if that doesn't mean i cant push for better and equal treatment.
cheers for any advice / criticisms, im pretty much 80% leaning on telling that place to fuck itself, but right now i'm that woudn up about the whole thing, i don't know if i can trust my own judgement!
Nah i don't mind mate, It's a place called Oakham, in Rutland. There are trains and the like of around an hour to 'city like' locations such as Leicester and Nottingham, however most job searches in those places are commission based marketing and sales, i know it seems pretty contrary to say 'ill do anything to get away' and not even consider things like that, but something about those kind of positions sits dodgy on me xD I definitely am not of the mind to stay here for life, i've got some good mates, and spent my 'growing up' years here gaining some good memories. But the thought of still being here in a decades time? just doesn't appeal. I guess so, i mean you never want to blow your own trumpet (though any bloke that says they wouldn't if they could is a liar!) but i read it as she seems to think that keeping people in fear of their jobs and introducing stupid procedures and methods whilst increasing targets is an effective way of keeping people on the ball, i'd say that in fact encouragement and incentive would be a much better motivator, but i guess that's why i'm not a manager! As for footholds, me father was in the forces for my entire life, never lived anywhere for more than a year or two at a time, only really settled here when he got his ankle fucked up in northern ireland and was medically discharged, Both sets of parents relatives and the rest of my family all live up in newcastle, though because of the on/off relationship with how they saw my parents manage - i've never really spent a lot of time with them beyond mandatory visits as a young 'un. Still it is something we have considered, especially as the gf's extended family are scottish and still live up there, meaning easier visits for her.