Happy Face

I think he's canny. And that's before everyone agrees in a post ironic kind of way.

I had this old bag in front of me at B&Q the other night who was buying a single 2 inch screw. 32p it was, so she rummages around in her purse for the right money until about 5 minutes later it dawns on her that as a pensioner she's got a discount card. Cue 5 more minutes of her hunting that out. For the sake of a 10% reduction on 30p, 3 fucking pence!! I was going fucking mental behind her. In the end I said I'd treat the old dear and told her to spend the money on a packet of werthers originals.

I always thought it was to force the person serving you to ring it through the till to get change. Otherwise they could pocket a round number. People rarely have the exact amount when it's £x.99 Might be wrong like.

Aye, you can't get moved in Gateshead for all the tourists that come to smell the authentic piss tainted air in the stairwells.

Toddlers? I get attacked in my street and I'm seven foot four! A cull is needed like.

I don't know what you mean tbh. There's not a single empty shop. There's some crap like the Ex-Catalogue store, but we've got our HMV and Woolies and WHSmith and Game, and Cafe Nero and Maccy Deez and JJB sports and Argos and Dixons and Curries and loads of wifey clothes shops etc like all the main streets in the land. And it's always heaving. All we're missing is some good blokes clothes shops. Serious investment has been made in building big new shops (Next, River Island, Debenhams and something else) on the land where the fire station used to be. If you want to see somewhere run-down, look at Laygate. Or North Shields, Or Gatesheed, Or Sunderland.

What I want to know is why 80's is in quotes. Is it passe to mention that decade now? Or do you just not buy that's when they were at their peak.

Do you know something I don't HF?? 162405[/snapback] I could have sworn someone said he'd left Bolton. My apathy toward football grows ever bigger.

Worries me like. You've got.... O'Leary O'Neill Allardyce Curbishley Reid All out of work. When Roeder gets sacked before Christmas there's a 4 in 5 chance of a shit replacement.

The Best town in the North East. Of that there is no doubt.

The Great Yokai War Most of you will know Takashi Miike as the bloke that directed Audition or Ichi the Killer. Some will know his other great films like The Happiness of the Katakuris, The City of Lost Souls, D.O.A., The Bird People in China, Gozu, Visitor Q or Shinjiku Triad Society. All of these have a theme of violence that make them great fun to watch but very much adult only. The Great Yokai War is meant to be for kids, but to be honest, I can't see much difference between this and Gozu other than the lead character is a pre-teen. I'll go through what I can remember with and warn you now, there are spoilers. But I've seen the film and don't know what I watched so don't let that worry you. First of all there was this fresh born humanoid cow covered in blood that's VERY disturbing and it's telling the farmer about how a war is coming. Nowt to do with the rest of the film just freaks the shit out of you (and your bairns). So the main character is this young lad, ten, eleven, something like that. And he's soft as shite, gets bullied and has no mates. His mam and dad are dead and his older sister has pissed off to Tokyo for a bloke. He's been left in the care of his grandad who's senile and thinks his grandson is his dead son. Anyway this lad goes to a village festival and a dragon bites him on the head to anoint him as the chosen one. When he tells his senile granddad this, his granddad says he has to go to the mountains and retrieve the goblin sword because that's what the chosen kid does. Intercut with this is the story of some evil fella who's got a sidekick that looks like Christina Aguilera. And she’s gobbing acid all over these people that look like thundercats. When they're really pissed off and hate her guts, she hoys them in a machine full of red spunky glob and they turn into hate filled machines of carnage that are sent into Japan to wreak bloody havoc. Now the young lad starts seeing this little guinea pig or something that no-one else can see. It was the only survivor when one of the nasty machines described earlier ate a herd of guinea pigs. But it’s wounded, so the lad takes it home bandages it up and has a new mate. He spends many a happy hour walking around town with his guinea pig friend on his head. For the rest of the film, if the guinea pig is with the lad, he’s on his head, they’re that close. Only problem is his Granddad has gone missing. So he takes his new mate up the goblin mountain to find his granddad. But when he gets there he meets a woman with a stretchy neck who trips him over with her neck. He sees a door but the door turns into a load of eyes that look back at him. He manages to open the door, but outside the sky is a wifey’s head. The lad is scared shitless (as am I) and runs away, but his granddad is calling him so he conquers his fear and goes back to fight. Turns out that was just a test though. And no-one wants to fight. They just want the anointed one to help them out. He’s proved he is said individual so he’s in. Now Christina Aguilera turns up with a few of her machines. Did I mention she’s got a beehive hairdo? She grabs the guinea pig and shoves him in a microwave. The lad grabs the goblin sword and tries to fight back, but he’s canny shit. The sword gets broke and Christina and her machines bugger off with the guinea pig in the microwave. So the lad is left with the people who were testing him. They consist of a red fella who’s hair stands up when danger is close, a half man half turtle with a crap shell, a ball of flame and a damp bint who spends her time saving people that drown. This rag tag collection needs help in getting back the guinea pig so they ask all their mates. These include a wall, an umbrella, and a bloke who counts beans. The only bloke that agrees to help is the bean counter, though his only skill is counting beans. So off they go to find Christina and her evil master and the guinea pig in the microwave and the machines. To get there they hang onto the wing of a Boeing 747. This is taking too long. When they get there (wherever there is) the young un kicks seven shades of shit out of loads of the machines because his sword was reforged by a 1 legged thundercat. But there’s too many, so he leaves the turtle and the red fella to fight on. He takes the soggy bint with him and the bean counter drops his beans and has to find them all. When he finds Christina Aguilera, she’s taken his guinea pig out of the microwave and put it in the red goo. So the young lad has to slice the shit out of his guinea pig turned evil fighting machine mate. He annihilates him, but then cries on him so he comes back to life but is pissing blood all over the shop. Christina Aguilera loves her evil boss so he says to her lets both jump in the goo, be a proper evil machine and rule together, but the goo works on hate, so when she agrees he stabs her. So she hates him more than anything so he jumps in expecting to be the nastiest machine ever, but the bean counter has just found his last bean and by a massive contrivance has thrown it into the goo at EXACTLY the same time. Since the bean counter loves his bean more than anything, it has the opposite effect in the goo, rather than an evil machine, the bean of love causes a massive love explosion that sends the turtle into space. Years later the kid is at home and his granddad is dead. The guinea pig is there, but the grown up kid can’t see him anymore because he’s lost the ability. He doesn’t believe anymore you see, so the evil fella looks like he could come back. I’ve never grinned through a film so much in my whole life. Hugely entertaining and highly recommended.

Sorry to be such a nerd, but that's EXACTLY the spot from Vertigo!! Fantastic. well done.

those are EXACTLY the style of shoe hubby took the piss out of!! Said they looked like his dad used to wear years ago! Zico, unles you're a young trendy pup, i'd go for something plainish, a soft mule type is more classical and smart. 162271[/snapback] They ARE what my Dad wears now! All that crimp-edged leather looks fucking awful to me! 162280[/snapback] Almost as bad as http://www.mandmdirect.com/ProductDetail.asp?ProductID=9859 Look like what charvers buy to go to court. This is a handsome shoe for under £40 http://www.mandmdirect.com/ProductDetail.asp?ProductID=10709

Juror number 12 in 12 Angry Men.

Is he thick or very funny? I'm always using "Does the pope shit in the woods?"

Biology was a class song.

I like Julia Fullerton-Batten. Not a friend though.

If you liked Kid A/Amnesiac you'll love it. I wasn't too keen on them. 161282[/snapback] I see where you're coming from but I love those 2 and I'm not that keen on this one. Without Jonny Greenwood he's been able to run away with his processed beats and discard the guitar altogether.

That looks a lot like the Prime Number Shitting Bear to me.

I really hope it's this...

Or this...

How about this fella....

Are you sure the bear was red and the background beige? The only one I can think of is.........

A few from Borlin... And of the view from my jammy mates living room....