Dr Gloom

he’ll never be worth as much as Palace were demanding. 40m is about right and I wouldn’t be against spending that on him in January or summer if he remains our top CD target

has he made any good signings? £80 on Anthony, an absolute wedge on an over-the-hill Casimero. £70m Hojilund etc etc No sign of him improving any of their players either

It gets better. What a thrust

kiss the ring

At least he didn’t bring his kid out on the pitch with him - the ultimate crime

he comes across as very likeable and surprisingly intelligent for a footballer. He has probably have to work harder at that stuff for obvious reasons

which reminds me, i just had my morning coffee so I will soon be in need of the royal wiper

some of us have subjects to attend to

fucking hell lads, it’s too early to be reading this

i think essembee flounced too. His brain couldn’t cope when BUJ7 turned into the next Patrick Vieria

RIP Noelie too

That’ll be King Barlow to you

I didn’t declare it. The good people of a toontastic anointed me

I watched a bit of this yesterday. This kid is absolutely ridiculous. Walcott’s Bergkamp comparison was spot on

I grant you a royal pardon. The king doesn’t have time to read every single post. Sometimes he relies on his advisors.

This is your worst take since you argued passionately that Isak isn’t a centre forward

that really fucking annoyed me. First motd is been looking forward to all season too

The Gordon one was a blatant pen. I’m surprised Shearer thinks otherwise. I’m less surprised about Gemmill getting it so spectacularly wrong

The downside of being the king is my sausage fingers make my sausage look tiny

Fucking have it

bizarre. There’s blatant contact from the keeper as Gordon tries to shift it around him to tap into an empty net. Pen all day

Is Shearer saying the Gordon one wasn’t a pen??? It’s about as stonewall as they come. The Joelinton one was a softer shout but you’ve seen them given and they’re definitely given if it’s a team from the north west wearing red.

Brilliant performance from AG10 today. Absolutely our man of the match and much more like his performances from last season.