Ayatollah Hermione

dare you to sum it up

Pablo Fonseca’s* piss taking mags *this is what my dad thinks he’s called

Edwards is shitting it now that his only source on the Newcastle beat is away. I’m sure a hasty request to be further south will be forthcoming.

Can smell the drink from here, zut alores!

How much would Liverpool captain and Ex-mackem, Jordan Henderson cost, I wonder?

139 goals in two and a bit seasons Was he going for a Guinness World Record?

That’s just the favourite hobby of middle-class white Guardian readers tbf.

Easiest way to not be called useless is to not be useless. Straight in with the victim act anyway

I was at Central Station and he was in front of me buying Viz in Sainsbury’s. Confirmed

It’s shorter odds on Fonseca being next than it is me getting absolutely ripped to the tits tonight.

What a start to my holidays, what a belter. Glad I bought him cans for the train

AKA everyone knows Bruce is gone, everyone knows Fonseca is his replacement but we can’t actually say it yet

If that’s the same kid I know, he couldn’t shout coal. Bruce would be an improvement

Favre seems like he has the CV that I'd go for out of all of them tbh. He's been in relegation scraps before, he's built clubs up and he's managed at the very top level. Plus, it'll wind Palace fans up if he gets it and we beat them on Saturday after he turned them down.

Noticed he wasn't in the Platinum section on Sunday. He must have been busy when Staveley rang him.