catmag

What possessed you to eat raw onion?! Dear gawd Go to the chemist - get Imodium! Drink water and nothing else for 24hrs. Raw onion will just play further havoc with you. Oh and I'm one glass of wine away from changing your username to Montezuma's Revenge

Well that's me no good now. Fucking hell man.

Wasn't it?

I'm sticking with Jamie Dornan, thanks. Dear god Maybe I should watch that crappy film after all...

Celeb Gogglebox starting now on C4 for those of you who partake.

http://news.bfnn.co.uk/jeremy-corbyn-scribbles-out-the-queens-face-on-all-his-money/

That's brilliant news, MF. Over the moon for you

We do just fine without it

Drinking sparkling water is as pleasant as taking Alka-Seltzer. Horrible stuff that just makes you burp.

What do you suggest, Oh Middle Class Guru?!

I find it really difficult to drink a decent amount of water alone. A splash of cordial is the difference between drinking 2litres of water (juice) a day and getting halfway through a cup and hating every minute of it.

Thanks. Must've tasted canny too cos it was all gone by morning.

What goes "beep beep beep beep beep beep beep?" The England rugby team open top bus reversing back into the garage.

Aye, alreet

It's a bit Stevie Wonder but once you mess up icing eyes it's hard to put right

I am NEVER doing this again

She drove the ice-cream van.

Patience!! I have a plan. Kind of.

I can't win though! Anything I make out of chocolate is just going to be compared to shit by you shitheads!

Well.......

Okay, I've managed to not fuck up the cake bit, which is a start. Not decorating properly until tomorrow so you'll have to reign in the excitement

Well the cake bit is in the oven. I figured that the decoration is going to be a crashing disappointment so I thought the cake itself should be decent. So I've made a dark chocolate and orange cake which I'll be filling/covering with orange liqueur ganache. Lah-di-dah-di-dah Managed to grate my thumb whilst zesting the oranges though. Hope I don't get that bit

Gents (and Jill) - it's Cake Week. Prepare to be....... erm, amused probably.

Somebody is feeling sorry for himself! You always buy crisps when you're huffed Last thing I bought was a Kylo Ren lightsaber. Well Santa did....

Thought we'd have a change from it being all about you for a bit.