Dazzler

Dan "girly thigh tattoos" Burn. What a hero.

It took Dixon 30 seconds to think of the word "consecutive" the ditzy cunt. He's thick as a castle wall, and desperate for Fulham to win. We have been pretty shit mind you, but we've been solid defensively, and Fulham are starting to get desperate. They both seem oblivious to our injury problems and the fact we're the fucking away team so it's fair to expect a high pressing team to control possession in front of their own crowd.

And shite crosses. That's about all he's good for.

Should be no problem for him he'll just cook his books again and add it to the list of his already growing fraud charges.

Not if there's still a bit of bush left, she'll be scared of touching it.

I am no lip reader but it's quite obvious that I have a natural gift for it since it's clear he calls the bairn a wanker as he walks away.

I think we all know which stand PL will be in tomorrow:

Covered in Keith Flint and Toploader jizz?

FYP

Their message boards are a sombre place to visit right now. It's glorious.

Or Shearer has donated his right foot to Miggy. Miggy is about to become a monster, but Shearer will be walking in circles on MOTD.

Clearly not a medical if it's at the RVI then, surely Al-Shibab or whomever would have him booked into the Nuffield in such instances.

Rumours that Miggy is away for a medical / or injured floating around the twatterverse.

"Hello? Who? I think you must have the wrong number, I don't know anyone called mam, mate."

Buy 10 of everything from Primark whenever you shop there so everyone still thinks you're a tramp. Have 5 cars but they are all white Sanderos and kept in garages scattered throughout the city. The most important thing is this though - buy top notch electronic equipment - the best telly's, consoles etc, but make sure you knock up a few snide invoices from Brighthouse and leave them dotted around your house so everyone suspects you got them on tick whenever they come to visit. Problem solved. Plus you'll still have hundreds of millions sat in a basic savings account that you can look at and feel good about yourself whenever you want.

I imagine your neighbours in Darras Hall would be a bit concerned

"I'm just nipping out on the old canoe, pet. I won't be long." Then fuck off to some uninhabited island somewhere. Good plan tbf.

Liverpool won the FA cup, came closer to winning the league than at any point during the inception of the PL and got to two champions league finals (winning one) - it's mental if they think Liverpool were "rubbish" under Rafa. It has to be Dalgleish, another former manager who sank Liverpool into irrelevance until Klopp came along. But you're probably right

Just don't tell anyone, take the family and fuck off to a nice area and never speak to your peasant friends and family again. You could just buy better friends.

There's a few offering a straight swap. They may be joking, but I reckon they aren't.

Do they think that we think Dalgleish was a saviour after he dismantled a title challenging team and brought in a bunch of geriatric ex Liverpool players? Surely they don't believe that, but then I'd put nowt past them.

Has he been for a shit and come back in with the puffy eyes of a toddler who's scraped their knee yet?

He'd go up in my estimations if he made a complete WWE attitude era heel turn and fucked off to Man Utd in the summer. "Oh I love the club, and the city and the fans but it's the right time to go......to your biggest rivals. Suck it!"

It's nailed on to be Xabi Alonso as his successor IMO.

I hate the cunt as the Liverpool manager, but hopefully he just wants to get away from Liverpool to see if he has tinnitus or if the squealing noise in his lugs is due to his geography and it's nowt serious - I divvint hate the cunt that much Germany or Bayern at the end of the season for Klopp unless his health is fucked I'd imagine.