Craig

Mirandinha was the best Brazilian since Pele and was certain to deliver Newcastle United the First Division title as well IIRC.... What do you mean Supermac had a 'cut' in the transfer?

Well it's all over as of 4.30pm this afternoon. Basically what happened was that two blokes (who apparently are cousins) got into a fight in a pub toilet which spilled out into the pub. One bloke was getting the better of the fight and at the end of it, left the other in a bad state on the floor while he fled from the pub when he heard the old bill had been called. Oh and I nearly forgot - he bit the top of the blokes ring finger off and somehow managed to bite through the bone. He claimed that this was in self defence as the other bloke was biting him. There were suspicions that this bloke grabbed and ashtray and moved towards this bloke but that it was snatched from him - this was not conclusive though. Count 1 was "Causing GBH with intent" however if we found him not guilty, we had to try him on a lesser charge of "Inflicting GBH". Sadly, we didn't have enough conclusive evidence to do him with intent (even though I'm suspicious that it was) but we did do him on the lesser charge. Seems the bloke had only been out of the nick a little while having been done for armed robbery 3 years ago - needless to say, he's going straight back in. Sentencing isn't going to happen for about a month as there has to be a home office report or something...

Seconded - my 4 year old is more mature that that stupid bint! And I'm NOT exaggerating, one bit!

Fucking damned right - get your arse down to St. Pauls and give the muppets who I helped set up last weekend a fucking kicking as they've already screwed their entire network up! Tossers!

Ah bollocks to it...... I've made my mind up already, anyway!

All they instruct us to do is not discuss the specific details of the case to avoid the possiblity that my judgement can be affected by someone external to the trial. Therefore, there's nowt dodgy in what I've said!

Should be goiing to deliberate first thing tomorrow - from what's been said between us so far, I wouldn't be surprised if we return a verdict before the day's out!...

I can't wait for it to start again.....but they better not have fucking killed Harry off! I've heard the blonde from Cold Feet is in the next series!

West Ham - bloke hammering a nail in the wall. Tottenham - same bloke is wearing spurs

Lilywhites - Preston North End

Agreed. It's fucking harrassment tbh. He's said he's uncomfortable and shazbaz has as good as said "so fucking what?".... Twat!

A tenner says your beeper goes within minutes of it arriving!

Swine..... I'm salivating at the very thought - I'm off to cook something! And Rik, the battered ones are just wrong!

you've nicked my regular order from the chip shop!

...that are usually covered in piss 139063[/snapback] Is Fish saying he finds 'scrubs' sexy, or has he been down Ann Summers again? 139066[/snapback] Didn't you know? We all dress like Barbara Windsor in Carry On Doctor. These suspenders and stilettos can be a bugger when I'm tottering over to maternity.... 139068[/snapback] Don't you find that the rubber material is easy to wipe clean though?

...that are usually covered in piss 139063[/snapback] Is Fish saying he finds 'scrubs' sexy, or has he been down Ann Summers again?

Howay Glenda, get the cheque book ready. 138690[/snapback] Seconded!

Invent time travel, go back 12 months and stick £20 on Gretna reaching the Scottish Cup Final!

One of the girls here at work is desperate to get one of them golden tickets, so if you DO happen to find one, can I have first dibs please? 138672[/snapback] If I get it, she can have it.......gladly! Mind you Cath, I reckon she's lost her way a bit - tell her to get over the river and ask for directions to St Nicks!

"When I get older, losing my wife A couple of weeks from now She won't be sending me a valentine Just legal papers for me to sign I could be happy puffing a spliff When you're finally gone You can tell the papers all about 'your side' Four short years as my blushing bride Doing the talk shows dishing the dirt You'll still be a bore You will still need me You will still bleed me When I'm sixty-four Send me a postcard Drop me a line When you're gone from view Indicate precisely what your talents are That contrive to make you a star You were too jealous I was too kind But I'm blind no more My fans will still need me My fans will still greet me When I'm sixty-four."

Am I the only person in the world who, if he buys a kit-kat that has a golden ticket in it, will give the fucking thing away? I'd rather extract my own eyeballs with a pickling fork than go into a house with that bunch of freaks!

Get it topped up and text him, you gyppo! 138658[/snapback] Seconded...

All will be revealed towards the end of next week.... What I can tell you is that the defence barrister is a complete buffoon and keeps fucking up good and proper - provides the jury with vast amusement, I can tell you

Found out today that the trial I'm sitting in on is in the very same courtroom as the one where Rose West was tried!

Contemplating going to PC World is a consideration for a banning alone. Laz, you wanna have a fucking word with yourself, PC World is as bad as it's ever been!