Jay Jay Sea

Just been to the moor with the wife n bairn. How times have changed at the toon moor. It's like the 'normal' every day helpful people are the ones 'running' the old hook-a-duck stalls and dodgems and the fucking ugly one-eyed, 13 fingered neanderthals accompanied by their slag 3-breasted inbred birds have been released from their cages for the evening and are strolling around menacingly. It's horrific. Frightening. Mind I couldn't stop laughing at the lad about 19 years old with one BLACK shoe (slip-on) and one blue shoe, white socks, ill-fitting tracksuit bottoms and an old toon top, kicking the fuck out of this beach ball amongst a crowd of masses of people. But the defining moment was the bottle of white wine in his hand. Lambrusco no doubt. He's kicking this ball and his shoes flies off into a crowd and it disappeared. He was going beserk with mass hole in his sock. I couldn't stop laughing. The scum.

I've just been to the town moor.

What's happening in your life that is of any interest I ask so tell me someone, what the fuck is happening? Something interesting please. Keep it to about your life. Someone prove to me that they are not boring as f*ck. That they like a fcuking joke about battering their wife or lacing their fatha or knocking up their sister(s) or catching their gran sucking grandad off and him cuming in his gob or getting caught wanking themselves of like some wild baboon over a gay porn flick or flegging in the ma-in-law's gravy when the fat cunt comes round for dinner just bucking the ugly sister-in-law whilst the missus is in hospital getting her arse stiched up from that over-indulgent session where you insisted that fisting her back eye was entirely normal. There must be someone one this forum who is a fucking daft cunt that entertains? Show yourself. There must be some humans left on this forum.

Probably chomping but you sound like a cunt. Your fucking winding me up chap right? It's simple chap, it's called LIFE. That is correct. LIFE. It's what people who live life, call KEEPING IT REAL. Keep it real fella. Keep it real. Anyway, I didn't whack her did I? So I ain't a cunt. Fucking next time tho I'll whack her, me slob of a wife and me bairn (if I get pissed enough and they piss me off enough). We can't help who we are fella and yeah, drink has a lot to answer for but if the women in my life learned to keep their mouths shut and speak when I give the green light, I wouldn't have to post little snippits of my life on this here forum chap. End of the day they are lucky that deep down I'm not a bad fella really. Remember that.

Fathaz day, minding me own business, Ma pops round, I'm just waiting for the football to start, wor lass tells me to put the kettle on, it's 7.43 p.m. and u say to her a simple 'frig off, are you winding me up or what you friggin idiot?'. So the old Ma shakes her head and calls you 'snappy'. Your lass pipes up 'yeah he is isn't he'? and your Ma just scowls at you. Your blood is boiling by now as you want them all to fuck off so you can watch the tv in peace with a few Jacky D's but will they go? Will they fuck. So ya Ma put's in a few more digs like how you have an attitude problem. Then............in anger you say to ya Ma, 'so you fuckin want some then do ya?' with clenched fists and your lass goes white. Do you think to yourself 'well I've just lost the plot there but I best not clip the old Ma' or do you think fuck it, and pretend to hit your Ma so that she get's a bit scared or do you just lay her out there and then? I wanted to bray her but didn't. Does that make me a coward? Anyway, I fuckin smacked wor lass on the back of the skull when me Ma fucked off as she wasn't so vocal and brave then on her own. Women are a nightmare sometimes. We are cool now like after her initial crying like some oversized baboon. Bloody football is good tonight.

Hello chap. U will find that i am an authority on this site. This is my 7th post in total on this site. You want advice then i'm your chap, chap.

Shit. Wrong thread. Sorry chap. Erm...entry 568 of this thread was my way of literally taking action upon your words chap....even taking them out of context......oh fuck it.......

I'd rather have for a plague of locusts to eat my eyeballs out whilst I'm still alive than continue to read this thread any longer tonight. Tomorrow is a different day. Parkster - you owe me.

Why not just f*cking PM the chap instead of airing your dirty shit-stained linen in public chap? You'd be wise to take heed from Charlie, chap (not Charlie Chaplin of course). Alex has won this battle of wits chap. All you'll get from hereonin are nutters contributing to this particular thread, simply slagging you off. Like me.

Aye, I'll take credit for that chap. F*ckin terrible. Petition about to kicked-off me old chap. JJS who is that guy in your avatar? Howay man, it's none other than Ollie Reed. B*stard, that's my cover blown now chap.......

Aye, I'll take credit for that chap. F*ckin terrible. Petition about to kicked-off me old chap.