Jay Jay Sea

Was f*cking gutted it was just her and not the whole of the Royal family to be honest. She was nowt but a f*cking slag, sucking cock at every opportunity. Those starving kids in Africa man, she would have had them all licking her p*ss-flaps and slack arse-hole off camera. Dirty slag exploiting the kids for some rim-job. Reckon her and Charlie would've been into loads of anal sh*t as well. No front door for Charlie, back-eye only.

My life's a disaster zone. I got a stepdaughter so fucked up because her real father's this large-type asshole. I got a wife, we're passing each other on the down-slope of a marriage - my third - because I spend all my time chasing guys like you around the block. That's my life. I can't put my finger on it and really don't know why but that statement Fish I find absolutely utterly profound. It's almost Bukowski-like (and that's fucking good), like the opening of a novel.

Me dad used to work for AMEC (pRESSIES) on The Tyne in the 90's, the day we played Spurs when we could've won the league that day. He came down from his crane and a mackems was cheering a gritting his teeth like he'd won the lottery right in his face, why? Cos Jason Dozzell had just put Spurs ahead, I said to me dad, that if that was me I would've stamped on his mackem head, and I would. Me fatha used to work at Press....back in the 90's, he was getting more per hour back in 94 than he earns now. The money was ridiculous. He was on about £22 - £25 per hour as a welder. Mon - Thur - 12 hours shifts then Friday - 6 hours and then never to be seen again the entire weekend as he'd be p*ssing it up against the wall. Proper bloke. Anyway, i once attended a lecture at Sunderland uni back in 96 (i think it was) when we played Man U at home and Cantona scored so nipped into this pub nearby - The Ivy House - and they had big screen on. It was awaful. Dirty mackem c*nts were hockling, actually spitting at this screen. Sunderland is a sh*t-hole...i know a few people who live over that way but spend their lives shopping in town or the Galleries rather than Sunderland. The place is riddled with freaks who look as though they wear their face inside-out or have been involved in a horrific fire-ball accident or stunt-doubles for Simon Weston (no ofence Simon if you are reading this forum).

Best supermarkets containing best quality food, really helpful and well educated staff and are populated with the finest shoppers: 1) Netto 2) Herrons 3) Price Watch 4) Booze Buster (you can get all of your essentials in one shop from Booze Buster) Netto for me every time, mind, Herrons would be my first choice but some of staff can occasionally be very snobbish.

It would be great to see all of the above teams make it to the starting grid on the opening day. I havve an affinity with Lotus for some bizarre reason. I can still clearly recall the image of Martin Donnelley, lying there on the Spanish GP track (Jerez?) having just been involved in a major high-speed accident. His entire car disintergrated around him, leaving only his seat strapped to him. It's nothing short of remarkable that he survived that accident. Anyway, I'm looking forward to the new season and will be cheering on Lotus, from the back of the grid in all likelihood....

The criticism that Nick Griffin has received is a little unfair in my opinion. As a comparison, if you gave a man a Les Paul guitar, he doesn't automatically become Eric Clapton does he. Put Griffin in front of of the cameras, millions of people watching, hanging on his every word, he doesn't become Martin Luther King does he? Give Nick Griffin some time to get it right. Maybe his policies are a little flawed and maybe a little zany but with time and a litle bit of help and nurturing, he can be, just like, Martin Luther.

A ban for life imo wouldn't be over the top. I'd even be in favour of prison, not a life sentence, maybe 5 years so that when he gets out, he can still have a kickabout at Conference level. That would be the least he deserves but either way, the punishment should fit the crime and imo, this crime is pretty despicable.

I see what your saying chap but honestly, I'd rather have a smaller squad than have a slightly larger squad with a complete fucking incompetent talentless overrated lump of fucking blind-alley running, can't deliver a cross, ever, lived on the back of one fucking good game at Manure last season, where were the other 37 you greasy, goalscoringless cunt. Fuck off spider.

RIP Sir Bobby Robson. It saddens me even more to think that, thanks to the utter c*nt, Ashley, Sir Bobby departed this life seeing his beloved NUFC basically being brought down to it's knees. RIP chap.

Young chap, Paul McGrillen died 37 years of age, retired (recently) from football. He joins a few young Scottish footbllers (& ex). RIP Chap. Career McGrillen spent his early career with Motherwell, being part of Motherwell's Scottish Cup-winning side in 1991, while also winning the Scottish Challenge Cup with Falkirk in 1997-98. Following his departure from Brockville in 1998, McGrillen began a series of spells with lower league clubs, taking up a player/manager role with Bellshill Athletic between 2006 and 2007. In 2008, McGrillen won the Scottish Junior Cup with his final club Bathgate. On 11 September 2008, McGrillen played for a Motherwell side in Dougie Arnott's belated testimonial match against an Old Firm select

Agreed The sooner Manure, Chavski and co fuck off to form their euro super wankfest the better Then the rest of us can get on with a competitive competition that's actually entertaining to watch I see what your saying about the big spenders who are fucking the game up and trying to purchase their way to success but, would you really be that enthused about watching NUFC in a league without any of say the top 4? The fact that they tried or have bought their way into the top 4 makes me want to beat them all the more. Not forgetting we are in the shit big time either.....I just don't want a 'break-away' super league.

Tired / Stressed / Anxious etc I am ok now, was waiting to speak to the doc, but ok now. What kind of a weakling are you ffs??!! Classic early symptoms of Rabies

Having read this thread, I can't believe that not a single person has identified the true crux of the issue. It boils down to one thing and I know and have known of it only too well. It tension. Pure tension. Real tension, the tension of a sexual nature. I have 4 sisters, 2 of them acted as if they were my Ma (when at work) and the other 2 were like my girlfriends. Granted, 2 of the sisters are great kissers and stacks of times we went all the way but prior to that happening, man, we fought like cat and dog. Now? Well now, we are like a tripartite of 3 wild dogs. It's great. Anything goes. I dress up, they dress up, two's up and three's up. Cool. Nowt to be ashamed of. Tension flew out of the window when we all got it on when I dressed up like Magnum one time and they didn't have a clue it was me!!! Crazy bitches. I was laughing my head off for days after I'd ridden them senseless. It's been the same ever since, The jokes definately on them. So, make bucking your sister(s) could be the solution. Dress up, make them feel special, youdress up also but DON'T let them know it's you beneath that 60's tache, side-burns and wig. Man, their faces once you've done the biz and they are all hot and bothered and randy as a dog on heat and you expose your mush to them, it's classic. You will then have them eating from out of the palm of your hand.

Probably his best novel, which is saying something. You should read John Fante (especially the Bandini Quartet) and the novels of his son, Dan. The former inspired Bukowski and the latter is very much in his style (but a bit updated). Cheers for that chap. I'd noticed at the back of 'Ham On Rye', a selction of John Dante works as recommended reading. 'Wait Until The Spring, Banding', Ask The Dust' and 'Brotherhood Of The Grape'. The fact that Bukowski has said that Dante 'was his God' is good enough for me.

Just been travelling around southern Spain for a few days accompanied by 'Ham On Rye', by Charles Bukowski. Excellent. 10/10.

You better believe it man. What's your beef? I have a Senior position within the organisation but I don't actually own the organisation so go easy on me. If I don't know the answer, I am sure to know somebody that will. Hit me chap, Shoot straight from the hip. What's the question? Make it snappy if you can as I am leaving the office soon.

Uh oh..... Sorry I cant be doing with it all. I'm weird and you're hot. So hot I'm gonna cool you down. You know how to cool a chick down? You invite them round to your house, wine and dine them and just as she makes a passing comment about how sophisticated you are as a bloke, a bloke like they've never met in their lives before, you take that compliment and then you snap. Big time. Body temperature drops by a good degree or so. You apologise profusly, bring on a few crocodile tears if manageable, show a real sensitive side to your nature. Invite the chick upstairs to your bedroom, pull back the bedsheets and there it is. Last night's chick stone cold having been lying their for some 24 hours Of course a bird wouldn't think anything of anything of there being a hammer-drill, still-saw and stanley knife at the top of the stairs, with a few bin-liners scattered about for good measure. The thing is, I like to feed my chicks up before sending them on to the next life. Like I said, weird. You're always talking of beating chicks up and killing them. Why? I see death regularly, its not attractive. Man I can't believe it, a chick with similar interests as me. Death. Wow, you must mix in some canny cool circles to see death regularly. Are you into those 'snuff' movies then? Actually, PM me, It's kind of weird, exciting and erotic to exchange a mutual interest in death across the t'inter. I'd love to do a snuff movie. It's not just chicks either that see my good side. It's fellas as well, well used to be when I was practicising to be 'top jock', but I'm out of that phase now. It was my 'free your mind and your ass will follow' period but it's made me a stronger chap in the long run. Man on man, never did me no harm lady. None at all.

Uh oh..... Sorry I cant be doing with it all. I'm weird and you're hot. So hot I'm gonna cool you down. You know how to cool a chick down? You invite them round to your house, wine and dine them and just as she makes a passing comment about how sophisticated you are as a bloke, a bloke like they've never met in their lives before, you take that compliment and then you snap. Big time. Body temperature drops by a good degree or so. You apologise profusly, bring on a few crocodile tears if manageable, show a real sensitive side to your nature. Invite the chick upstairs to your bedroom, pull back the bedsheets and there it is. Last night's chick stone cold having been lying their for some 24 hours Of course a bird wouldn't think anything of anything of there being a hammer-drill, still-saw and stanley knife at the top of the stairs, with a few bin-liners scattered about for good measure. The thing is, I like to feed my chicks up before sending them on to the next life.

Well, I mosied on down to Pilgtim Street Jewellers and unload my suit pockets with all manner of shite and the bird kindly split the gear into gold and silver. Some smartly dressed, slightly portly, chap fixed one of monacle/magnifier type of contraption to his eye and off he went. I felt rather embarressed at having raided so much shit from the missus jewellery box that I could barely hold my head up. Anyway, chap has a word with the lady serving me and he mutters some figure. £377. Sweet as. Money in the hop, leaves the shop, tells her indoors that she can have ANYTHING and I mean ANYTHING that she would like from the menu of the Chinese round the corner and guess what, I will even pay for her. The gold tooth can wait. For now. £377 for tat. What is the world coming to? Be just my luck to find I had dropped my wedding ring in with that lot. Pity our women/wives could not be sold for money. Not that I'd get much.

Well that's the thing, in all hoensty, she will want to keep the jewellery but like I say, I'm flying out of the country for a few days and thought HER jewellery would pay for MY few days/nights away. I'm fairly certain she will not notice that a handful of it is missing and if she does? Well I blame the bairn or just tell her that I think her sister is a kleptomaniac. Win/Win situation for me. Gotta be ones step ahead of the chicks (with all due respect). Sell the lot. Empty her account out while you're at it. Never seen you pussyfooting like this before. I find it slightly unsettling. Don't worry about a thing chap. If i make even 1% of the actual value of the jewellry, I'll be back selling the lot, leaving no stone left unturned. Slight dilema though, she has a gold tooth and the way I'm been unsuccessfully throwing my fists around the house, I'm not confident enought right now that I will be able to take both her and the tooth clean out. She's had the upper hand lately (quite embarrassing for me really, sporting a couple of 'grazes' here and there) as she introduced a few cheeky moves when we've been sparring. I found grappling with her when she was about 26st easier than the 11st she is now. There's nowt to hold onto, just a 95 year old + pair of tits.

Well that's the thing, in all hoensty, she will want to keep the jewellery but like I say, I'm flying out of the country for a few days and thought HER jewellery would pay for MY few days/nights away. I'm fairly certain she will not notice that a handful of it is missing and if she does? Well I blame the bairn or just tell her that I think her sister is a kleptomaniac. Win/Win situation for me. Gotta be ones step ahead of the chicks (with all due respect).

Sound, thanks a lot for that folks. There a few lasses in the office who were saying they basically picked up a small handful of necklaces and real tat and got about £200. Knowing these lasses as I do, I kid you not when i tell you it was real tat. I am remaining optimistic that I will receive a 3 figure sum......I'll hit them at lunch time. Cheers.

I'm looking to make a quick buck to fund a brief stint out of the country for a few days. I'm looking to sell some old jewellry as I understand that the price of gold is pretty good. Personally, I don't have any jewellery with the exception of my wedding ring but wor lass has loads of the stuff. No doubt it will all be cheap 9 carrot gold that I have lavished her with over the past 12 years or so but it's just sitting there, in her jewellry box. So the time has come, she wont miss it I'm sure of that so I'm gonna grab me a handful and sell it for any price they offer. So.....does anyone know of any jewellers that will purchased said cheap gold? Somewhere in town would be ideal or Jesmond/Gosforth/surrounding areas. Appreciate any help. JJ

Exactly, all cool. Everyone of 'em.

Senna v Prost v Mansell v Pique. Those were the days. Remember seeing Senna's death and being a bit 'stunned' for a few days. I can't remember who was held accountable following the inquest into his death. I watched a documentary a while ago that I think 'intimated' that his death was caused by a faulty steering rod (dodgy weld job). He was the master. Anyone remember Martin Donnelly's crash in Spain I think? I think he was driving for Lotus. There he is, middle of the track with his caar seat strapped to his body, nothing else. Car had disintegrated around him. I think he recovered.....can't recall.