Jay Jay Sea

It's all about 'opportunity', making the best of what you have (or haven't), improvising, getting out there. It's not about RAISING your profile, it's about keeping a LOW profile at all times. You'll see what I mean, you don't know how lucky you actually are. This is what I would suggest chap; * Keep your curtains closed 24/7 *Carry out street surveillance. Observe peoples comings and goings, track their movements, times of when they leave the house and return home. Then fcking burgle the joint. Create a route that can get you from A to B in the quickest time and where you are not exposed to humans on the street. People work through the day chap. Take advantage. Target homes that have cat-flaps, easy in, easy out. No smashing of windows either. Start with a few local houses then spread the net. Just take what you think you can sell, quickly and easily. Don't get side-tracked on the job by smearing human excrement on walls or feeling the urge to sniff the occupants knickers or underpants, cuming all over the shop. That's how you will get caught. DNA chap. That's your daytime filled chap. Now for the the night-time * Again, observe houses, movements, plan your route but this time, get fully tooled-up. You never know who's coming down them stairs and what they might be armed with whilst their heart races at 30000 beats per minute. Best you case the joint during the day then maybe rob the place of its contents in the evening just so you know where everything is located in the dark. Don't be AFRAID. That is key. Don't be afraid to club the occupant(s) to death to get what you want. It's dog eat dog chap. What's theirs is, effectively, yours. Remember that. Arm yourself with a crow-bar or an axe. An axe can take a head clean off if you strike correctly. Once you have killed one occupant, you must do the entire household. Make sure you clean the place and REMEMBER, don't panic and fck off just because you have killed a few people. You are there to do a job. Pointless leaving a number of bodies and when yo could have stolen a mobile phone or a few quid. Don't get side-tracked either by getting stuck up the 'stiffs' that you have just done in. That is a real temptation in my book. Like the Beatles said...'It's been a hard days night, and I've been working like a dog'......... Good luck chap.

Dusty Carpet - Never been beaten.

Jesus H Christ Bassong. I fear for you, I really do. I'm not joking here when I say to you that you need to start saying goodbye to the ones you love. No sh*t chap. No shit whatsoever. So you wer mearly acting as a peace maker, you're non-violent, basically a pacifist and a law-abiding citizen. Somebody that the country would want to roam the streets, not a rapist, mudering paedophile on the prowl. But this is where you are F*CKED and I mean F*CKED. These are the facts fella and I'll be amazed if the following sequence of events has either not already happended or is about to occur: 1) You punch a wall and get taken to the police station where you are held over-night 2) During you stint behind bars, the pigs will have been back to lift the DNA that you LEFT on the WALL that you PUNCHED. 3) The cops will spend a few days looking for an ONGOING GRUESOME MURDER case, probably involving kids and paedophilia, that they just CAN NOT solve. 4) They will take YOUR DNA, placing YOU at the SCENE of the CRIME when you were most probably tucked up in bed and that is you FRAMED 5) There wont even be a knock at you door over the next day or say. SWAT team will come through your fcking front and back door, smashing their way through you house, whacking all over your loved-ones in sight with their batons, spaying CS GAS all over the shop. Caving your lasses skull in with their size 12 steelies, asking questions later. 6) Within 24 hours you are charged with the rape of a 3 women back in the early 1990's, the assault of 4 pensioners, the mugging of 7 people and the sickening deaths of an entire family from Wales, who's kids you had under your evil sadistic wing. 7) You will be locked up in a secure unit then transferred to a high risk dependancy prison where other psycho's roam free. 8) Fellow inmates spend the next 30 years buggering the life out of you. You become a 'bitch', sucking cocks to make ends meet and to keep the bullies satisified. And for what? Punching a wall? You are about to face a HARSH lesson. You life is over. The rozzers can not be trusted with your DNA, you have solved a case for them. You have fallen right into their trap. What a way to go chap. Unlucky chap. Unlucky.

That would be typical, Parky getting the girl AND the boy. That's the advantage of being bi-sexual. Lucky bstard.

If you want a Dylan 'benchmark' album then Blood On The Tracks is your album chap. If you wanna fucking song that you'd wanna ram down your girlfriend / wife / back-stabbing friend / boss / wank work colleague(s) or people who jusr fuck you off then POSITIVELY 4TH STREET really is the benchmark. Bar none......'do you think I would make contact...with the one who tries to hide what he don't know to begin with?'....get amongst it chap.......it's fucking uplifting (not words you would associate with Bob Dylan and his music.....but it blows your mind........

What is sad in this chap (it would seem), as if you haven't got enough on your plate with being kicked out of Uni, is telling your folks. In this case though I'd be amazed if your parents gave you a hard time.......but lots of young university folks carry this weigh of expectation that parents knowingly or unknowingly plave upon their kids shoulders. If you parents, whose SUPPORT, you need right now, just go off on one, well fck 'em chap. You really do have enough on your plate. Good luck with it all......let us know how you get on....

If you can't beat a man are you really a winger? At the end of the day, if your job is specifically to get crosses in, whether you are a winger or inside right or whatever, and you can't even do that, which, let's face it, surely isn't THAT difficult (or then maybe it is which is why they are paid such a handsome wage), then you are, IMO, fckn crap. Jonas is overrated imo. Lots of running, industrious, 110% grafter, loads of blind alleys, zero end product but hey, he has that old chestnut we call 'potential'........Right now I'd take Milner and even he is overrated also.

In this day and age it is a disgrace that and winger, anywhere in the world, at any level, never mind the Premiership, is incapable of crossing a decent ball into the box at least half a dozen times during a game. No bullshit. It's a fcking disgrace.....I remember the likes of Solano, Ginola or even Keith Gillespie for that matter being able to cross ball from the bye-line (or anywhere else for that matter) with consumate easy, even when they were having shIt games. What the fck are they doing in training? It's basic requirement surely....crossing a fcking football. It's not rocket science. If you are not crossing the ball because you can't beat your man then clearly you are shit. Infact you don't need to beat your man to cross the ball..........

Look here Parkster chap, I'me done with incest, murder, rape, multilation, cheating, gambling, drinking, fighting, wife-beating and mam-kissing (open mouth so not the same as incest). I just want society to give me a chance. A chance to be somebody. Leave my dark past behind. But I can't because you will not let me. You live to far away to burn your house down and murder your wife and you were the last piece in the jigsaw but you are untouchable. And that hurts me nore than you will ever know. Anyone reading this topic that I have started. Don't read it.

Wondering waht folks opinion are of this chap. See hit banging in some good goals for Swansea this season and seems fairly quick and strong and has taken his goals really well. I think he is a really decent striker and think he would do well in the Premiership and I'd go as far to say he wouldn't be a bad player for us. Granted he has no PL experience but he's young and seemingly gifted. I wouldn't even go as far to say that we (as a club) would be setting our sights far to low by even thinking of signing this fella. I say this as I think he could be the real deal. Any thoughts on this chap?

Robson? Nailed. You are correct....I should have said at least two good appointments....

Frederick Sheppard for me. Thrift versus frugal. Thrift wins it for me though both have shocking records around appointing managers (short-term, long-term and temporary) and that has been a big problem. If Fred could have just made the right appointment at least once after Keegan then that could have been the making of him but he blew it every time. Fat cunt(s)

There's something about that word I find amusing, in the context of what these pricks are about. They've been called everything under the sun except Peter Files. Until now. Class

Funny I was thinking similar. Defo suss like. Wouldn't be surprised if his fatha is the dad tbh Or her fatha even. Damn right Alex, you see, the thing is, I come from a background of where it never really fully adds up where aunties become your mam, sisters become your girlfriend, brother becomes your dad, uncles become your brother and ya nanna just sucks cocks on Shields Road, outside of the Raby, for the odd ciggy. I relate to this young man. The lucky bastard.....free sex on tap.....doesn't matter that it's all in-house....a fanny is a fanny.....blood or not.....related or not.........

Tht old chestnut love.....It's a tragic story really. It will only be right and proper if this young lad becomes a grandad at say 25/26 years of age. That would just be mind-blowing. At the end of the day, the young lad should do a DNA test, He will find the bairns not even HIS. The real fatha is the young lasses brother or fatha I would guess. It'll come out soon enough the sick fucks. Even if this bairn is the young chaps, his fatha must be a right thicko. The 'birds and the bees'? He should have just told him son, from a younger age, that safe sex isn't about wearing a condom or her being on the pill. It's about whacking it up her back-eye and so fuck if it hurts her and you get a cock full of shit somethimes, at least it's fairly safe and she will not get pregnant. What a fucking thick fatha.

Work in a shop in town selling old ladies cheap shoes. Sometimes can be boring but at least on Thursday afternoons I get the chance to heel shoes for an hour or so which breaks up the week so not all bad. Been there for 17 years and still in the same position though they have promised me promotion to 'temporary relief-assistant at dinner times shoe shop supervisor'. Doesn't sound much but it's a steady job though the wage is real rubbish. Been thinking that I might try out some of the jobs on here but they seem pretty complicated and I guess you need to be pretty bright to do those jobs. On the brightside for me, at least I get the ample opportunity to fucking spunk into some old grannies shoes that she's worn for years, just telling her that she needs to let the 'glue' dry before wearing them. Yeah, nothing better than sniffing on a pair of well worn old ladies shoes, man, if that doesn't get you stiff then nowt will.

This..... It's not any lack of emotion or enthusiasm that is the danger or the enemy amongst NUFC supporters, it's NUFC supporters clearly seeing and recognising that they are being fcked over by a fat c*nt and his small army of cohorts. Might I suggest it is Ashley and his gang who are clearly apathetic towards NUFC and it's supporters?

Which pub chap? Is this a ticket affair?

I am full of fear but the old treble Jackie D's will be hammering my skull and luring all my senses, literally, into a false sense of security. I fully envisage a Luton Town v Millwall scenario occuring. I hope the kids all get of the ground in one piece if we lose, and if we do lose, I hope that fans start ripping seats out and fcking whacking them all over the shop in an utter delerious state. I can't even think of the actual game as I can't get beyond the carnage that is bound to occur. It's an utter thick and moronic mentally that I have but to my mind, smashing the fcking place up is the only way the pain can be supressed for a short period of time (only if we get beat mind). For once, NUFC should do something for the fans by allowing them to take knives to the game. One knife per fan. Nothing more as that would be crazy.

Bored out of my skull so been jotting down some anagrams of that popular bloke...MIKE ASHLEY.......came up with......... SHAME YE ILK SAY KEEL HIM YAK HE SLIME YAK HEM LIES MASK HEY LIE AND THIS IS THE FUCKING KILLER!!!!!!!!!!! SHAY LIKE ME Can you see whaat I have done there? Can you? Cheers

Basically Parky, it's all in the eyes. Tie yourself to the mast my friend and the storm will end. All great poets must do this to draw inspiration.

I fully expect if you are within range to 'go for him' Jake Seed. Parkster, Jake Seed? As in tribal elder Jake Seed (Gordon Henry).........or.......Jake Steed....who is an American male porn star, who appeared in Interracial pornography . I assume the former is who you were referring too? Ideally take on the spirit of both as you unleash your mighty blows of love and hate. Psychologically disrobing and de-arming his weak mind in the blur of the moment...The moment when you will realise your destiny as the true of avatar of the Geordie race. Plung into him with gay abandon my friend for in catharsis we see our true selves. Err...Have fun with it anyway. On another matter I have been invited by a very sexy angel to an isolated chalet on a Brazilian beach surrounded by wild dogs with the samba carried in the wind. Your advice? My advice? Go with the flow chap. Natural order of events as I see them would be; Romantic meal and drinks nice music tell her you love her retire to bedroom caress her tell her you love her again kiss her call her a cock teasing f*cking slag attack her, one or two blows to her head and a couple of rabbit punches torture her, burning her body parts, nipples, eyes, flaps with a Zippo lighter (very important) strangle with enough force so that she is out, semi-unconcious though, not fully insert sharp scissors repeatedly into her anus slash, with a sharp knife (remove if you like) her perinium so that, essentially, her blit and anus become one whole entity hack-saw (her) left leg off (feed to wild dogs) repeat with right leg (this is yours to eat, there will be little time to cut up into small pieces as she will bleed to death) cut off her arms (feed to wild dogs again and force her to eat her own body) rape her (your earlier prep' of the perinium will make for one massive fanny chap but you will be rock solid downstairs by now so no issue about it being too big) finish the night by letting the dogs loose on her.

I fully expect if you are within range to 'go for him' Jake Seed. Parkster, Jake Seed? As in tribal elder Jake Seed (Gordon Henry).........or.......Jake Steed....who is an American male porn star, who appeared in Interracial pornography . I assume the former is who you were referring too?

Remind please folks, did I dream this up or did in fact Ashley promise to address fans immediatley after the transfer window closes? How does he plan to do this? Written statement? Media interview (TV/Ronnie Gill, etc?). Will his lieutenants be there to back him up? I'm sure I read this somewhere and apologies if there is a thread on this. It will be fascinating stuff if this does occur on 2nd Feb, the day AFTER we play the scum and we haven't won the game............