The Fish

Get more Jonas vibes from Almiron than anyone else in the squad. Almiron is decent at progressing the ball but is unlikely to score or provide an assist. Just like Jonas. He might win you a freekick, or something though.

Again, this is not true. For all the criticism you can lay at his stumbly feet, 'not giving a shit' isn't one of them.

I think that with a new back line and a back line more in-keeping with Howe's approach to football, we'll not make so many cock ups. With a number 6 who is calm on the ball and good in possession the back line will be under less pressure and the attack will be better supported. Norwich and Leeds haven't improved their squads at all in the window. Honestly, it looks like Norwich are content to have a Premier League holiday every year or so. Leeds probably gambling that once their injuries calm down they'll be ok. Watford have done what Watford always do and gambled on a few young, cheap, foreign lads, but bringing in Hodgson might be shrewd. That said, if Hodgson was brought into any other team in the league I'd expect him to lift their results, but Watford... I dunno, might be ignorance, but I see them as a mercenary group who may not take his organisation on board. Burnley have gambled on Weghorst, but swapping one big striker for another one, doesn't seem to solve the problems they've got across the pitch. Everton have a really unbalanced squad, and I don't think signing two number 10s is great business. Unless I've misunderstood Ven de Beek's role? They're still pretty ponderous in the middle, in my eyes. Norwich, Watford and Burnley for the drop.

Ant never managed this.

We shoot deserters.

'Bruno' it is then.

Ge mer einz? or.... Ge mer royce? Orrrrrrr Guimarães pronunciation: How to pronounce Guimarães in Portuguese (forvo.com) Geemeraysh? Personally think it's the latter

However, he hasn't been awful in each of those games where he didn't play as a striker, I'd say he's performed well in around 7 or 8 of them across the seasons. That leaves 7/89 or 7% of his performances have been away from CF AND poor. So, statistically NJS is talking bollocks, that's just maths.

I can make that in 4 letters GGPP

19/20 of the 38 games he played in the league 34 were at CF (89.5%) 20/21 of the 31 games he played in the league 23 were at CF (74%) 21/22 of the 20 games he's played in the league 6 have been at CF (30%)

You're not wrong. But, some people still see him as a failed striker, when in truth he's never been a striker. He was just forced into the wrong position, in a broken system, under an incompetent dinosaur. Now we've an actual manager, who has actual ideas of how to play, he looks 10 times the player he was. Credit to him for getting outside help because he sure as shit wasn't getting it at the club when the Steves ruled the roost.

Heart says we'll win by a couple of goals. Head says it'll be tighter than a Scottish duck's arsehole on a frozen pond.

You saying this phrase is objectively hilarious.

Mitro wouldn't be £25m. He might be £25m for some teams, but for us? £35m, easily. We wouldn't have signed Wood if Wilson was fit, or if we could have secured a better striker early into the window. End of the day we've signed an experienced Premier League striker, rather than gamble on players who've not 'done it' in the top flight of the English pyramid.

Boooooooo

I'm happy to admit that I had to google just to get the opening gambit.

Even after all?

I didn't even realise that. To be fair, quite a few Hollywood movies have been made about a gnarled old professional doing "One last job".

Clark, I can kind of understand. He gets money for nothing and he's already towards the end of his career (32). But Lewis (24) makes no sense to me. A) given our injuries at the back he should be in the squad instead of someone like Mark Gillespie (how many fucking 'keepers do we need?) 2) he was showing signs of improvement under Howe and is surely a better bet at LB than Ritchie? iii) go out on loan and get your mojo back, or play for a move at least.

So's Finley Quaye

Lets just concentrate on the domestic goals, because I'm not sure banging 4 past St Joseph's FC from Gibraltar is the measure of a good striker. Morelos isn't standing out like a tremendous prospect or owt. He's playing for one of the two top teams in the Scottish league and he's getting doubles figures. Wood has played for one of the most agricultural teams in the Premier League and is getting double figures. I'm not saying the Antipodean Colossus is a top striker, but he's less of a gamble than Morelos. Mitro could carry on his flat track-bully form into the Prem and score 9-10 goals in the second half of the season, or he could have been sent off on his return and fail to settle. Plus he'd cost 50% more than Wood did. You're massively underestimating the cost of Brereton Diaz. West Ham were quoted £28.5m, we'd be quoted more. And there's no guarantee he's able to make the step up. Wood is a proven, if uninspiring, Premier League striker. He's not a liability like Morelos and Mitro, either. In short, no, you're wrong.

How pasty are Gerard's legs man. He's Hollywood and on holiday/filming in Arabia, shouldn't he be tanned head-to-toe?

Neither of these are true in the slightest.

Morelos from Rangers? No ta, he's got a similar goal return to Wood, but is playing in a farmers League. Mitro is a Psychopath AND would have cost north of £30m given he's leading a title push Brereton Diaz was quoted around the £28m mark, so add the Newcastle tax, you're talking £38m for a fucking meme. What Mickey Mouse club would spend 4x the worth of a player because he's got an amusing story, or a catchy song? Wood is a bang average Premier League striker who won't even be first choice when Wilson returns to fitness. But if he helps us get to safety, he's worth the £25m pocket change we just fished out the sofa.

He was infuriated that Premier League players couldn't match his exacting standards, imagine what he'd be like when Ian Lastnamehere misses from a yard out, or Gary Whatshischops spoons a 5yd pass into the Wear? Every season they're around the promotion candidates and then, as the season draws to an end, the League One squad buckles under the weight of Premier League expectation and can't get over the line and the fans turn feral, but we've got unrealistic expectations. The boss sees a few bad results and a streak of bad form and the fans literally offer the manager out and yet we're fickle. They think that Roy Keane, or Sewpa Kev is the answer to their managerial woes, but we're living in the past.... Fucking hell, they think that 40yr old Jermaine Defoe will fire them to promotion this season, but we are more bothered about a famous name, than what's best for the club.