Monkeys Fist
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Posts
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Joined
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Last visited
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Days Won
438
Posts posted by Monkeys Fist
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3 hours ago, wykikitoon said:
I've just chocked on a fucking apple
Fuck me man, crying
They say that’s an Archer from the Mary Rose, but we know who it really is.
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2 hours ago, Sonatine said:
We have our very own …
“To be fair, when I spoke to Sandra, she
said she was making mince and dumplings for tea, which, to be fair, is me favourite “.
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6 minutes ago, Gemmill said:
Loans from 777 are the only thing that is keeping the club afloat. They can't make their commitments without these loans landing every month.
If they suddenly dry up cos 777 is in difficulty of its own, then they're in major shit.
I don't understand how they've been allowed to continue to be run like this by the PL. They can't meet their operating costs without a monthly bailout from this third party, who has only continued to lend them cash cos it had designs on buying them.
For an organisation that likes to talk about sustainability, this is the definition of unsustainable.
You make some good points here, but I’m curious- should we deduct or add said points?
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1 hour ago, MrRaspberryJam said:
I dunno what this means.
Of course you don’t, Lee, of course you don’t.
Ask your Mam when she brings your tea down.-
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8 hours ago, MrRaspberryJam said:
We’ll see. I might get banned for talking (about) shit too much.It’ll more likely be something else, Thompers.
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21 minutes ago, MrRaspberryJam said:
Right. In the last 24 hours I’ve talked about smearing shit on Roy Keanes car bonnet, smearing Roy Keanes shit on Roy Keanes car bonnet, trying to swallow my own shit in a jacuzzi and squashing my own shit on a glass coffee table.
I think I’m gonna knock it on the head talking about shit now.
Your patter reeks.
When I used to work on the ropes, we had the BT call centres and high rise admin contract.
The one in Glasgow had this fucking huge woman as facilities manger, I mean she had a gunt that could run an oil burning generator for a year or two.
Fucking massive.
She was also an absolute twat, the type who treated contractors as if she was paying them with her own money.
Everywhere else for BT, I’d have a few minutes chat with the FM, then get the lads together and have a quick toolbox talk.
This fucking whale insisted on having the whole crew in the FM office and she’d go through each floor of the building, telling us where “extra care” was needed, where was “parrrticularrly duurty” etc.
One time, we had a few new lads with us, so just before we went in to her office I turned around, got all the lads attention and said
” I’m sure you’ve heard the tales about Moby here- all true.
One very important thing lads, whatever you do, don’t picture her shitting on her glass coffee table back home”Then opened the door and ushered everyone in.
It was fucking glorious- as she started listing off smears and stains I could hear the lads behind biting their tongues, cough/laughing, turning in to Finbarr Saunders- a couple excused themselves saying they needed the toilet.
Worked a fucking treat
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Just now, MrRaspberryJam said:
I like to shit on my glass coffee table and then put two or three coffee table books on top of it.As a surprise for your dinner guest?
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2 minutes ago, MrRaspberryJam said:
Well well well. I guess this isn’t the forum for eating-your-own-shit enthusiasts that I thought it would be.More of a glass coffee table chap, myself.
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1 hour ago, MrRaspberryJam said:
Bit miffed at how this got more likes than my post about trying to swallow my own shit in a jacuzzi in the General Chat forum but each of their own.
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Who’s this cunt?
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Just now, Alex said:
He’s a bang average championship player. Ordinary is precisely what he does on a regular basis
Aye, unlike his highly versatile vegetable namesake, there’s only layer to him- shite.
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11 minutes ago, Dazzler said:
The only that could be improved is with a ".....and then he died" at the end.
Unless he literally drops dead in full view of several right wing camera crews, when he does eventually permanently fuck off, the conspiracy theories are going to be absolutely out of this world.
Can’t
Fucking
Wait.
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37 minutes ago, Howmanheyman said:
He's a duck egg all the time
That has to be one of my all time favourite non-sweary insults.-
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5 hours ago, The Fish said:
You've either entered the Squid Game or you've finally found someone interested in buying corpses?
Met a necrophiliac.
He was dead boring. -
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17 minutes ago, Alex said:
Isn’t there literally hundreds of kids that’ve gone missing from the hotels they were staying in?
Aye.
They probably would be safer in Rwanda.
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Also,
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8 hours ago, Howmanheyman said:
It's a known legend, never knew if it was legit but she's lucky I wasn't older or oh yeah would be going for a pint with a transatlantic HMHM jnr.
I don’t think you would, unless you have a cracking pair of tits
edit; maybe you would - she’s an “omnivore”.
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6 hours ago, Tdansmith said:
Sorry, yes of course you are correct.
If only there was a way I could delete my hastely made thread.
Am I fuck merging this, just for the comedy value.
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His barber is clearly a big Braveheart fan.
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4 hours ago, Howmanheyman said:
Here's another brain cell avoider telling it EXACTLY how it is.....
If that lardbucket has ever walked to a pasture, I’ll vote Tory
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3 hours ago, Gemmill said:
I don't mind Keane, and he's definitely just playing for a reaction there, but my favourite thing about him is that he failed as a manager.
I bet it fucking kills him that they gave the job to his ex teammate Solskjaer, and he's never even been in the conversation.
Him, Bruce and Hippo Heed.
All managed the Morlocks, all failed to land the Newton Heath gig.
What a shitty exclusive club to be in.
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4 minutes ago, spongebob toonpants said:
Don't forget the wife
Paging @wykikitoon
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mackem messageboard gold
in Newcastle Forum
Posted
He wishes you were.