Monkeys Fist
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Posts
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Last visited
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Days Won
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Posts posted by Monkeys Fist
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14 hours ago, Dougle said:
Bollocks
Nobody asked for your dick pics man.
Btw, I’d go to the doc if I were you.
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On 12/06/2025 at 13:10, ewerk said:
Sam Fender playing tonight.
Young Ms. Fist went to this.
She’s been recovering from a serious illness and this was one of her milestones so she was over the moon to be able to go.
I asked her what the highlight of the gig was and she said it was afterwards in the Metro station.
They were on the platform, the place was packed with everyone singing when it suddenly went quiet, and a strong tang of stale sweat and dirty kegs drifted through the place.
She turned around and saw a pathway open up through the crowd, and two lads in sunderland tops making their way confidently towards the platform, handing out slices of Pocket Cheeyse as they went.
Everyone gratefully received their slice , until they got to two lads stood next to my daughter.
She said they were both 7ft tall and over twenty stone with muscles on their fingers.
No sooner had they refused The Cheeyse when, KABLAAM, KAPOOOW!
The pair of them were one-punched by the givers of The Cheeyse- sparked out cold.
Everyone looked at their feet, and the atmosphere was briefly uncertain, but then some international students, 5 Japanese lasses, reverently approached the two lads and requested Cheeyse.
As soon as they got their slices, they started hopping up and down, clapping their hands and squeaking,” We hate the mags anarl, Mallas!”
Our two heroes got on their train, and as it pulled away and headed south, Ms. Fist thought she heard an Elvis song come over the station PA, but she’s not sure because at that very same moment
EVERY
SINGLE
PERSON
in that station broke out in spontaneous applause and cheering as our heroes left the station.
I’ve just snuck in to check on her now, and she’s slept with The Slice under her pillow, and has replaced her poster of Mohammed bin Salman Al Saud with this one of Eric Gates
Marras, I’ve never been so proud of her.
True story
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2 hours ago, Kevin Carr's Gloves said:
Comparing the BB and the Beatles is like comparing Andrea Bocelli and the sex pistols. 2 completely different music styles. I prefer the BB to the Beatles but that’s just personal taste.
I don’t think anyone is necessarily comparing them to each other directly , however it’s very well documented that each band had a strong influence on the other.
edit; well, aye, PL is , but hey ho
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1 hour ago, Toonpack said:
Tony fucking Green, Jinky Jimmy Smith.
Terry Hibbitt was pretty tidy avec le ballon too.
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https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cp85gk40lk7o
Nonsense article about the return of derbies being used to push an increase in regional tourism, but…… there is juicy bait within!
Once that one lad on RTG who can read tells the rest about it, the fewm will be biblical
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40 minutes ago, PaddockLad said:
so it is just me then that doesn't really get Wilson or the Beach Boys? I hear good songs and nice harmonies but I also got the from the Brotherhood of Man
Using “God Only Knows” as the example, I think it’s because1- He did it first
2- Used/invented studio techniques to get multi-layered harmonies that were groundbreaking, at the time.
3- wasn’t his cunt cousin, Mike Love.
Like a lot of music from that era, people have become, perhaps not blasé about it, but have heard it so much they’re used to it.
Everthing that followed it using the same, or improved, techniques probably also now falls into that category, so the uniqueness of his talent has become dulled with time.
I absolutely love some Beach Boys tracks, unbelievable sound and vibe.-
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9 hours ago, Dazzler said:
It’s like Alzheimer’s this place. Every day I have to be reminded that my heroes have died and relive the grief.
Dementia sufferers will often fall back on often used phrases from before they became ill
If I ever get it, I hope that once I can’t recognise my family and friends I start greeting them with
” who’s this Cunt?”
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11 hours ago, trophyshy said:
All this when every conspiracy nut has abandoned us.
They couldn’t take the denpressure.
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What about Ronnie Pickering?
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He’ll be alive again tomorrow when the board goes down again.
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They struggled almost as much as Princess Anne running Gatcombe Park.
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I honestly think it should be classed as porn, since they’re openly licking her hoop.
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6 hours ago, t00nraider2 said:
Wilson signed a new contract yit?
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As much as I’m a “ Come the Revolution, get them up against the wall “ type of republican when it comes the royals, my Mrs will watch any old shite about them, which Channel 5 seems to be fond of.
Had our tea, kids have fucked off to their various rooms , I’d tidied up the kitchen and came to sit down with Mrs. F and maybe watch a movie.
Nope
She’s fully , eyes glazed, deep in to a thing - Gatcombe Park , A Royal Residence.
It should’ve been called Gatcombe Park, a Royal Rimjob.
Various simpering cunts hoop-licking Princess Anne and her progeny in to oblivion, the worst of which was their “concern” that she “struggled” to keep the estate running.…
Get fucked with a big stick.
She’s the King’s fucking sister who’s toed the royal line all her life, she wouldn’t know “struggle” if it walked up her with a massive sign saying “I’m Struggling Financially” and sparked her the fuck out.
I had to decamp to the kitchen.
Happy fucking Saturday night lads
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1 hour ago, thebrokendoll said:
why does the board keep breaking then?
and what the fuck's a discord?
It’s a back up place for when/if the board goes tits up.
You can download the discord app for your phone , and I’ve added you to a PM with a direct link to it.
Use the same username as you do here.
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54 minutes ago, Toonpack said:
Watched the Lockerbie thing on iPlayer, reminded me I was getting pissed at a do in the bar in North Shields nick when it happened.
Mate of mine was in Weardale Mountain Rescue Team at the time, they were asked to assist with searching in Kielder Forest for debris and remains.
His teammate found a trainer with its “contents”still in it.
Said it was the most depressing thing he’s ever done- lots of luggage and clothing recovered.-
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8 minutes ago, Tom said:
Sting was in the queue behind us getting
Was he standing a bit close to you?
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6 hours ago, Holden McGroin said:
My lad got one as well.
There was a chance to pull out beforehand
How old is he now ?
Bit late for regrets tbh.
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2 hours ago, Renton said:
Racist.
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1 hour ago, Diego21 said:
think the woman, who seemed to have a poor understanding of football-related concepts, understood that my cousin and I were Atleti players
Did this “woman” have a flat cap and sheepskin coat?
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Derek knew this was going to happen, and left you a message about the bedroom wallpaper
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5 minutes ago, Toonpack said:
Bridge isn't down (yet) but is a bit poorly.
Don't ask Wykiki to fix it!
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18 minutes ago, Renton said:
I've changed my office to a room with patio doors. At least one fucking pigeon a day flies into them at full pelt, the thick twats.
Not to sound like that tit from Parklife, I do enjoy watching the small birds around my bird feeder. Robins, chaffinches, bull finches, blue tits.... surprisingly colourful UK birds when you think about it. Also get visits from this chap. Technically a rodent I guess but then so are my pigs.
I hope you’re feeding those greys rat poison?
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32 minutes ago, PaddockLad said:
Umbongo
I remember being shattered to find that it is not, in fact, drunk in the Congo.
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mackem messageboard gold
in Newcastle Forum
Posted
Is that bloke that lives in a basement eating crème eggs and belching still about?
His channel next season will be a documentary of one man’s descent in to severe depression.