Monkeys Fist
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Posts
54578 -
Joined
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Last visited
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Days Won
454
Posts posted by Monkeys Fist
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3 minutes ago, ewerk said:
Who?No idea mate, never heard of him.
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Sitting in my cab at Thurrock services, waiting for the Scania lad to come and fix a small problem ( due in 5 minutes), then off for a quick 3s’s and a bite to eat.
Then;Match, celebrate, one-off the wrist, sleep, home.
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3 minutes ago, Christmas Tree said:
Alone in a beer garden
That’s what you get for drinking locally- they’ll all be on RTG getting angry about imaginary shit.
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Just now, AgentAxeman said:
It's rammed up by the angel
Have a word with Gloomy, has the opposite problem.
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Is that Ronnie Pickering?
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17 minutes ago, Howmanheyman said:
Real life was was more surreal than that, tbh.
Remember when you turned up to work in a ball gown and the gaffer said
” Go on then, give us a Twirl?”
Happy days…
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My lad asked me why boxers usually don’t have sex in the weeks leading to a fight.
I said
” They usually don’t like each other mate “
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I’ll be releasing the bomb bay doors soon
There’s few finer feelings than an empty gut after carrying a blind trout around.
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Decent piece on Howe from the BEEB here
The quotes from the players shows just how much these lads respect him.
Nice little mood setter for this afternoon.
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So, more omens.
Saturday night/Sunday morning on the A1 south means closures, always one, often two or three.
Last night, not a single one. Clean run, barely any traffic.
My first drop is 5 miles off the M25 at Dartford, traffic lights and roundabouts all the way.
Both in to the depot and and back out to the M25, not a single red light, nor even having to give way to traffic on the roundabouts- never fucking happens.
The lad driving the forklift was the spitting double of Thabo Mbeki, president of a country where the underdogs eventually won, aaaaaaand, because aye, that’s a stretch, he had a black and white striped scarf on.
I’ve put all these through the online Omen Interpretation Calculator and the result was;
CANS.
It’s happening lads
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12 minutes ago, Howmanheyman said:
That insufferable cunt carragher will be doing co-comms today won't he? For balance he'll also have former Newcastle United defender Gary Neville alongside him. Sorry, Manchester United, not Newcastle United.
It’s on ITV too- not sure who their blabber squad is, but it’s not fucking Spit the Dog.
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17 minutes ago, wykikitoon said:
Please tell that's your truck. Perfect truck for Fist Ram-age 🍆
It would be foolhardy of me to identify my employer on t’interwebs.…
… but zoom in bottom right of the driver door. I’m sure you can guess
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45 minutes ago, ewerk said:
There has to be something psychologically wrong for a 72 year old to want to actively try to make so many enemies
Aye- he’s a Manure fan, worse still, from Manchester.
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28 minutes ago, Holden McGroin said:
The last 3 cup finals I haven’t had a wank on the day. Today i’m going to get a pic out of Rebecca Ferguson and go to town on it.
it’s in the stars the lads.
If you’re serious about taking one for the team, your subject matter is clear.
Try injecting some Bong first.
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It’s a beautiful, if icy, morning down here in that there London.
Having consulted my Book of Football Omens, this means that it’s the Iceman’s day, winning hat trick incoming.
( I just need to make sure I wake up in time for the match
).
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1 hour ago, Dr Gloom said:
What have they got against coveentry exactly?
Goes back to the 70s.
Both teams were facing relegation.
Both had their last game on the same night.
Mackems just had to match Coventry’s result to stay up.Meant to KO at the same time.
Because of an accident or something, traffic was bad in Coventry so Jimmy Hill delayed KO by 15 mins.
Mackems lost their game 0-2.
Coventry drew 2-2.
Coventry stayed up, mackems went down and stayed down.So, because their own team weren’t good enough, the Morlocks hate Jimmy Hill
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4 hours ago, Renton said:
“ Only 50% bothered to turn up…”
The fucking cheeky bastard!
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2 hours ago, Alex said:
Sunderland lost, Heaton Stan won and I’m having a pint with Isegrim. The stars are aligning
Just had a shite and aced it- total ghost wipe.
Liverpool might as well not bother
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4 minutes ago, Gemmill said:
Those stumpy little trotters.
I’m only wee
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2 hours ago, PaddockLad said:
Cardiff is in the top 3 drunkest I’ve ever been at a football match
I forgot to ask earlier- what are the other two?
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1 hour ago, Renton said:
This is from the day. I thought it was quite witty with the signpost and sent it to. Com to publish. Did Biffa publish it? Did he fuck.
This is from Swindon the night before.
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7 minutes ago, Holden McGroin said:
I suspect a 4th non-performance is incoming.
I’ll be fucking furious of that happens.
If we put a performance in, and lose to these, fair enough- they’re where they are in the league for a reason.
But if we don’t even turn I’ll be well fucked off.
I have a feeling we will surprise them, tbh.
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5 minutes ago, Howmanheyman said:
but he was a duck egg
For a relatively small board, we do seem to get more than our fair share of Daffy’s Jisms.
Most of them are Quiff, but still…
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11 minutes ago, Gemmill said:
Would not have expected Joelinton.
If Joelinton told you to turn up for training the day after a game, would you argue with him?
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Newcastle v Liverpool - send him victorious
in Gold Section
Posted
Speaking of-
Forgot about my shoulders setting off the ultra sensitive flush sensors at Thurrock.
Treated to a constant flush and the resulting Neptune’s Kisses ( aye, fucking multiple!!)
which, honestly, impacted on my enjoyment of a good clear out.
I might write a very detailed letter of complaint to Moto UK.