Christmas Tree

No, but if you drew a straight line from its current direction, it ends up in Newcastle

Private jet just taken off from Seville 👀

Lock the thread

Worldwide search for footballer called Lawrence.

Headinging for 60, married 35 years…. Meh

The dead cats arrived

We’ll hammer them. 4 or 5 -1

While checking for incomings, nice to see this pilot having a fun time over Scarborough

Uh oh 2

Pete graves just said he thinks Ekitike is a week or two away.

I must confess, I’m still finding all of this a bit surreal Can you imagine the deals in summer if we stay up.

Something I’m usually very good at as well

Uh oh

It’s time to play the music its time to light the lights its time to beat these muppets at the Chris wood show tonight

Chris Wood said: "This is a very exciting opportunity for me and I'm delighted to be a Newcastle United player. "I have played at St. James' Park a few times and it's an amazing place, so to have the chance to represent this club with those incredible supporters behind me and my team-mates is very special. "The club and manager have been first class during this process, and I really can't wait to get onto the pitch and repay the faith they have in me, especially with a vital part of the season ahead of us." Newcastle United head coach Eddie Howe said: "Chris is an important signing for us at a crucial time and I'm very pleased we have been able to move quickly and bring him here. "He is a very dangerous attacking threat, has a physicality and character that I really like, and he has vast experience in the Premier League. He will be a great fit for us."

My sheets are bipolar

Just confirmed on Sky you are correct. 12 noon today is deadline for Watford

You think

Woohoooo

Nah, no tweets this morning from any of the journos who cover us which means they are all having a lay in or are all stuck in the press room

It’s off