peasepud

“@geordiedentist: @stevewraith are you going into stand up now?????”Christ I hope not!

“@PayasoDeMierda: Seasonal bait at The Priory..... http://t.co/n6gVxCpN” glad to see you're getting help mate #justsayno

“@ian_nufc: Had to open my 'balcony' door, as Hebburn seems to have got confused with somewhere hot.” is that a euphemism?

“@StephNUFC: This has to be the saddest football thread of all time http://t.co/7lFzKmSv” check archive there's dozens like that #SMBs

“@GaryNE1: @Iwantcurlyhair2 I just think it stinks of Man Utd fans crack.”You've sniffed a Man U fans crack?

If you follow @AlanShearer_ then please: 1. Close twitter account2. Turn off PC/phoneYou clearly can't be trusted with it

"between 5 & 18 you can legally drink alcohol at home, at a friend's house or other private premises" WTF? I've learnt something there!

well this is fookin booooooooooring

OMG!!!! @AlanShearer_ is on twitter!!!1! Oh hold on no, no he isn't still #nufc tag goes fucking mental in the belief he is

“@leazeslad: Staggered by headline in paper "Toon fans - All is forgiven Ashley". Not by me its not, never will be neither” never forgive

“@NilePowerRanger: Hurdy gurdy... Ringtone.. NOKIA BAaNGER” this is the closest I've ever come to understanding a Nile tweet

#Nowplaying Kelly's Heroes by #Black Grape #Its great to be straight yeah!

Oh my god they kkkilled Kkkenny

#InterviewLuisSuarez ship them back?

RT "@paulmerson: Hodgson wouldnt have picked this squad if he'd had a son who'd played for England"

Already looking forward to the next @slaleyhall stay.

Ok @Texas_Toon & @Iheartmyjames if you can send me a boxful of "oh my! Pocket pies" is be grateful #eat-street #foodnetwork

If #lfc sack #kingKenny then they should prove their ambition by poaching the England manager

“@Tony_Jeffries: Haha #FTM http://t.co/RuYD1mTf” bad move Tone, letting waiters know you're likely to do runner. #SMB #nufc

“@BlaydonRaces150: Free Entry, Free Pint, Free Stottie on #9thJoon at @newcastledogs see http://t.co/18jeWSfb #JoonArmy” #reclaimthestottie

Oh @Joey7Barton Slating Shearer because he DIDN'T retaliate against Keane doesnt exactly fit your pacifist tag does it? #fuckchops

Top Tip: #safc fans. Reduce your blood pressure by going shopping on Thursday evenings next season. #Nufc

“@MattBriggsPR: Do we know why Cahill went for Cabaye at full time? Can only think he's jealous of his looks.” who isn't?

Never bet against #mufc winning league

Anyone tell me what Alan Carr said that pissed the unwashed off so much? #Nufc