catmag 336 Posted September 17, 2005 Share Posted September 17, 2005 Have you heard that Newcastle zoo has been temporarily closed down today? For training porpoises. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Optimistic Nut 9 Posted September 17, 2005 Share Posted September 17, 2005 Will someone ban her? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catmag 336 Posted September 17, 2005 Author Share Posted September 17, 2005 Apparently it was a turtle disaster Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Optimistic Nut 9 Posted September 17, 2005 Share Posted September 17, 2005 Once upon a time, there was a poor sod with a wooden eye. He obviously had low self-esteem and had no luck with the ladies. One night he was at the bar with one of his mates, and he spotted a good looking lady with a wooden leg. "Why don't you go over to her mate? She'll obviously understand". So the man with the wooden eye plucks up the courage to talk to her, very nervous though. "W-w-w-would you like to dance with me?" The woman with the wooden leg was thrilled. "Would I!" she replied. "Oh well f*ck off yourself you wooden legged bitch". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Optimistic Nut 9 Posted September 17, 2005 Share Posted September 17, 2005 Apparently it was a turtle disaster 34456[/snapback] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adios 717 Posted September 17, 2005 Share Posted September 17, 2005 With jokes like that, shell have to go! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snakehips 0 Posted September 17, 2005 Share Posted September 17, 2005 Zooist! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom_NUFC 0 Posted September 17, 2005 Share Posted September 17, 2005 (edited) Heard that one about Ashington as well. There was a crash in Ashington the otherday actually. A truck load of Reptiles were being taken to a Pet Shop, and the van came off the road and spilt the reptiles all over the place. A police spokesman described the scene as turtle mayhem. see, that's a bad joke. Edited September 17, 2005 by Tom_NUFC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom_NUFC 0 Posted September 17, 2005 Share Posted September 17, 2005 (edited) especially as its already been half done Edited September 17, 2005 by Tom_NUFC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetleftpeg 0 Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 Have you heard that Newcastle zoo has been temporarily closed down today? For training porpoises. 34454[/snapback] As Tom said, it should have been Ashington. Two Hail Marys and see me after class. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 Have you heard that Newcastle zoo has been temporarily closed down today? For training porpoises. 34454[/snapback] As Tom said, it should have been Ashington. Two Hail Marys and see me after class. 35029[/snapback] Try Ashington Aquarium and you're getting there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zico martin 84 Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 Have you heard that Newcastle zoo has been temporarily closed down today? For training porpoises. 34454[/snapback] As Tom said, it should have been Ashington. Two Hail Marys and see me after class. 35029[/snapback] Try Ashington Aquarium and you're getting there 35130[/snapback] since when has newcastle had a zoo? I know Ive been away for a few years now but I didnt notice that one spring up when i was last back. No doubt it's part of the new quayside development eh ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 Have you heard that Newcastle zoo has been temporarily closed down today? For training porpoises. 34454[/snapback] As Tom said, it should have been Ashington. Two Hail Marys and see me after class. 35029[/snapback] Try Ashington Aquarium and you're getting there 35130[/snapback] since when has newcastle had a zoo? I know Ive been away for a few years now but I didnt notice that one spring up when i was last back. No doubt it's part of the new quayside development eh ! 35202[/snapback] You've never been to Pet's Corner then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChocChip 0 Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 2 cannibals sitting eating a clown, 1 screws up his face and turns to other and says 'does this taste funny to you?' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 2 cannibals sitting eating a clown, 1 screws up his face and turns to other and says 'does this taste funny to you?' 35223[/snapback] 2 cannibals eating a North African, one says to the other 'This is tasty isn't it?' The other says 'Yes, it's very Moorish'. TAXI! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChocChip 0 Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 (edited) A man goes into a pet shop and says 'i'd like to buy a wasp please.' Bloke behind the counter says 'we don't sell wasps pal.' Man says 'well, you've got 2 in the window.' Edited September 19, 2005 by ChocChip Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snakehips 0 Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 A man goes into a pet shop and says 'i'd like to buy a wasp please.'Bloke behind the counter says 'we don't sell wasps pal.' Man says 'well, you've got 2 in the window.' 35271[/snapback] That's one of my favourite jokes. Why do my kids think I'm sad??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChocChip 0 Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 A fella sees an old school mate and calls out 'hello Jim, haven't seen you in ages how you been, still got that stutter ?' Jim says 'hello B..B..B..B..Bill, i'm f..f..f..f..fine m..m..mate. Bill says, 'Aye, did you marry that fancy looking lass you used to knock about with? 'N..n..n..n..n..no, we spl..spl..spl..split u..u..up' 'Thats a shame, why?' 'We was on a p..p.p..p..p..park b..bench and i saw i d..d..dog scratching it's ear and i s..said, darling, wh..wh..when were m..m..m..married w..wil you d..do that f..for me? But by the time i..i'd finished it was licking its balls!' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catmag 336 Posted September 19, 2005 Author Share Posted September 19, 2005 Have you heard that Newcastle zoo has been temporarily closed down today? For training porpoises. 34454[/snapback] As Tom said, it should have been Ashington. Two Hail Marys and see me after class. 35029[/snapback] Try Ashington Aquarium and you're getting there 35130[/snapback] Listen, you pair of bastards. It's my joke and it's staying as it is!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetleftpeg 0 Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 Have you heard that Newcastle zoo has been temporarily closed down today? For training porpoises. 34454[/snapback] As Tom said, it should have been Ashington. Two Hail Marys and see me after class. 35029[/snapback] Try Ashington Aquarium and you're getting there 35130[/snapback] Listen, you pair of bastards. It's my joke and it's staying as it is!! 35448[/snapback] But Cath, no one will laugh. I can't see you go through the pain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manc-mag 1 Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 Have you heard that Newcastle zoo has been temporarily closed down today? For training porpoises. 34454[/snapback] As Tom said, it should have been Ashington. Two Hail Marys and see me after class. 35029[/snapback] Try Ashington Aquarium and you're getting there 35130[/snapback] Listen, you pair of bastards. It's my joke and it's staying as it is!! 35448[/snapback] But Cath, no one will laugh. I can't see you go through the pain. 35454[/snapback] It's true. She's no Lenny Henry, like tbh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Kenneth Noisewater 0 Posted September 20, 2005 Share Posted September 20, 2005 A man was caught in an explosion in a furniture store. He was hit by a sofa, a chair, a double-bed and two beanbags. Doctors say he is comfortable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Sima Posted September 20, 2005 Share Posted September 20, 2005 Good lord Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 14107 Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 I could find no better thread for this: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howmanheyman 27109 Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 Jokes as well? Is there no beginning to their talents? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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