Christmas Tree 3997 Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 Mortgage lending has risen for the 3rd month in a row, banks are forecasting a return to profit here and in the US and markets around the world have surged on details of Obamas rescue plan Is this the start of the recovery? Could it recover as fast as it went tits up? Has more been made of this by media? It is the strangle hold on credit that has caused the slump, so as this stranglehold is released, won't we just keep on spending? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manc-mag 1 Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 J69 denies it happened anyway, like the holocaust and the moon landings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 J69 denies it happened anyway, like the holocaust and the moon landings. Thought that was Parky. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JawD 31 Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 (edited) I really REALLY fucking hope so. Its been an absolute nightmare 6 months in business for me like. I can honestly say I've never known stress levels like it, bloody numbers running through my head all day all night all weekend. I need a holiday.... Edited March 24, 2009 by JawD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snakehips 0 Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 J69 denies it happened anyway, like the holocaust and the moon landings. Thought that was Parky. What, Kid Basten denies the existance of Parky?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renton 17852 Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 J69 denies it happened anyway, like the holocaust and the moon landings. Thought that was Parky. It was J69. I think it went along the lines he hadn't been personally affected by it, so it obviously didn't exist. Parky believes Armageddon is impending or something, doesn't he? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 J69 denies it happened anyway, like the holocaust and the moon landings. Thought that was Parky. It was J69. I think it went along the lines he hadn't been personally affected by it, so it obviously didn't exist. Ah, right. If we all apply that logic, he won't exist Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manc-mag 1 Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 J69 denies it happened anyway, like the holocaust and the moon landings. Thought that was Parky. J69 denied the recession. Not the holocaust or moon landings tho (as far as I'm aware). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 14100 Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 It's only the start. I'm getting bored of the "media fabrication" line, too. It's not like the media weren't quick to trumpet the fake boom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Park Life 70 Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 We haven't seen the worst yet. Financial houses are still hiding the worst bits for fear of meltdown. Bank a : "These bundled bad debts and bad investments can you take it off our hands for a fee? Bank b: "Sounds good. 10% fee of debt insurable and covered by us? Bank a: "Yes, yes whatever, just take this shit off our hands!!" Bank B: "I'll send over the agreement". Bank a: "Good". Bank B: (Immediately on the blower to bank C)..." Err.. Ellison Tarquin Farquart please".. Bank C: "Ellison speaking"... Bank B: "Ah Tarks baby I have a deal for you"... Bank C: " Let me guess you want to put that shit on our books in the UK and move it out of the U.S.? " Bank B: "Would be lovely". Bank C: "I'll take a percentage of your stocks in the morning as cover or we need 15%".. Bank B: Err...Take the stocks at a preferential rate? etc.... Finally calls are made to Bank K and Bank Z in the Caymens, Switzerland... The debt gets bigger as futher instruments are retrofitted to it but it only fleetingly appears on the books of any of the banks concerned. Started around 1998. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 9033 Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 I really REALLY fucking hope so. Its been an absolute nightmare 6 months in business for me like. I can honestly say I've never known stress levels like it, bloody numbers running through my head all day all night all weekend. I need a holiday.... ... I need a job to be honest I feel lucky. I'm in that slice of Britain who hasn't been too badly affected by this. Sure I lost my job, but it was a Kinnear contract rather than anything permanent and I should have anticipated it. My savings haven't beeen drastically chewed upon and the bank I'm with isn't amongst those who;'re feeling the pinch. all in all I read the papers and watch the news and think "Well, cheer up son, it could be worse" Which makes me proud to be British and justified in going out and buying a sausage sandwich. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manc-mag 1 Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 We haven't seen the worst yet. Financial houses are still hiding the worst bits for fear of meltdown. Bank a : "These bundled bad debts and bad investments can you take it off our hands for a fee? Bank b: "Sounds good. 10% fee of debt insurable and covered by us? Bank a: "Yes, yes whatever, just take this shit off our hands!!" Bank B: "I'll send over the agreement". Bank a: "Good". Bank B: (Immediately on the blower to bank C)..." Err.. Ellison Tarquin Farquart please".. Bank C: "Ellison speaking"... Bank B: "Ah Tarks baby I have a deal for you"... Bank C: " Let me guess you want to put that shit on our books in the UK and move it out of the U.S.? " Bank B: "Would be lovely". Bank C: "I'll take a percentage of your stocks in the morning as cover or we need 15%".. Bank B: Err...Take the stocks at a preferential rate? etc.... Finally calls are made to Bank K and Bank Z in the Caymens, Switzerland... The debt gets bigger as futher instruments are retrofitted to it but it only fleetingly appears on the books of any of the banks concerned. Started around 1998. Yes, yes but how does that affect J69 ffs? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manc-mag 1 Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 I really REALLY fucking hope so. Its been an absolute nightmare 6 months in business for me like. I can honestly say I've never known stress levels like it, bloody numbers running through my head all day all night all weekend. I need a holiday.... ... I need a job to be honest I feel lucky. I'm in that slice of Britain who hasn't been too badly affected by this. Sure I lost my job, but it was a Kinnear contract rather than anything permanent and I should have anticipated it. My savings haven't beeen drastically chewed upon and the bank I'm with isn't amongst those who;'re feeling the pinch. all in all I read the papers and watch the news and think "Well, cheer up son, it could be worse" Which makes me proud to be British and justified in going out and buying a sausage sandwich. Bank of mum and dad? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 Parky reminds me of that shoe shiner in police squad who knows all the insider info Genius! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChezGiven 0 Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 It will last until 2012 by which time there will be global chaos, death, pestilence, famine and the olympics. Not necessarily in that order. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Park Life 70 Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 Parky reminds me of that shoe shiner in police squad who knows all the insider info Shining shoes is a noble art Sir!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christmas Tree 3997 Posted March 24, 2009 Author Share Posted March 24, 2009 I thought they all spent the last few months writing off all the bad debt so that they could return to making profit this year. Cant remembers which banks were forecasting a return to profits but im sure there were a few here as well as the bank of america. Anyway, my daughter works in a lloyds call centre and she says ....... I was referring to media fabrication, moreover the ferocity with which they increase the reality of the current "big story". IE A child gets mauled and then we have a week of killer dog stories as though theres one on every street. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Park Life 70 Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 It will last until 2012 by which time there will be global chaos, death, pestilence, famine and the olympics. Not necessarily in that order. The aliens have scheduled the Olympics for the mass landing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Park Life 70 Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 I thought they all spent the last few months writing off all the bad debt so that they could return to making profit this year. Cant remembers which banks were forecasting a return to profits but im sure there were a few here as well as the bank of america. Anyway, my daughter works in a lloyds call centre and she says ....... I was referring to media fabrication, moreover the ferocity with which they increase the reality of the current "big story". IE A child gets mauled and then we have a week of killer dog stories as though theres one on every street. The banks are fucked. Killer dogs did it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChezGiven 0 Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 It will last until 2012 by which time there will be global chaos, death, pestilence, famine and the olympics. Not necessarily in that order. The aliens have scheduled the Olympics for the mass landing. The Chinese will probably get the mass landing gold though. Seriously worried about 2012 though.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJS 3986 Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 Its a strange one - obviously people are hurting though job losses which is real but I still feel it's largely a confidence issue in terms of banks and stock markets. If the toxic assets are covered by the government then the banks really have no excuse but to lend (to credible people/business). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Park Life 70 Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 It will last until 2012 by which time there will be global chaos, death, pestilence, famine and the olympics. Not necessarily in that order. The aliens have scheduled the Olympics for the mass landing. The Chinese will probably get the mass landing gold though. Seriously worried about 2012 though.... One of the best places to be and where I'll be is Norway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJS 3986 Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 I thought they all spent the last few months writing off all the bad debt so that they could return to making profit this year. As I said before we (investment bank) would have made a profit last year but for LB and Iceland - I see no reason why we won't make a profit this year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Park Life 70 Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 Its a strange one - obviously people are hurting though job losses which is real but I still feel it's largely a confidence issue in terms of banks and stock markets. If the toxic assets are covered by the government then the banks really have no excuse but to lend (to credible people/business). It doesn't work like that. The game doesn't just stop and then start fresh form 0. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Park Life 70 Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 I thought they all spent the last few months writing off all the bad debt so that they could return to making profit this year. As I said before we (investment bank) would have made a profit last year but for LB and Iceland - I see no reason why we won't make a profit this year. Lehmann Brothers? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now