Kevin Carr's Gloves 3277 Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 Is he the biggest cunt on telly? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 Not on Jacqui Smith's telly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Stevie Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 Is he the biggest cunt on telly? One of, but if you were on telly I can categorically and definitively state he would not be the biggest cunt on telly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Carr's Gloves 3277 Posted March 30, 2009 Author Share Posted March 30, 2009 Is he the biggest cunt on telly? One of, but if you were on telly I can categorically and definitively state he would not be the biggest cunt on telly. Who the fuck do you think you are you little jizz splash? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howay 12496 Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 I don't understand how he gets so much work does anyone like this little fucking cretin. I'd hate the man even if he hadn't done what he did to our soldiers. His little diary thing in that Live newspaper supplement is gold though shows just what a cunt he is namedropping constantly even when all the celebrities hate him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 Takes himself almost as seriously as some of the people in this thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Stevie Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 Takes himself almost as seriously as some of the people in this thread. I can laugh at myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 Fell off a Segway and broke 3 ribs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 Seen it before but that footage is brilliant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusoda Kid 1 Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 Should have been his fucking neck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papa Lazaru 0 Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 Steven Fry put it best on the radio during I'm Sorry i haven't a clue in the round where they make up new definitions for old words: Countryside - to kill Piers Morgan! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimbo 133 Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 Steven Fry put it best on the radio during I'm Sorry i haven't a clue in the round where they make up new definitions for old words: Countryside - to kill Piers Morgan! Fantastic ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kid Dynamite 6082 Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 He was probably having a manic episode at the time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 Steven Fry put it best on the radio during I'm Sorry i haven't a clue in the round where they make up new definitions for old words: Countryside - to kill Piers Morgan! Quality Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snakehips 0 Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 Steven Fry put it best on the radio during I'm Sorry i haven't a clue in the round where they make up new definitions for old words: Countryside - to kill Piers Morgan! Quality Above quality imo. With a troubled mind. I'm thinking about chancing 20 quid on him for the 2015 celeb departure bet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 Just how many messiahs can Newcastle take?By PIERS MORGAN ON SPORT Here we go again. Another day, another Messiah lands at the altar of Newcastle United. Religion is a curious thing. But football religion is even more perverse. It's blind, borders on the insane and makes people behave in an often ridiculous manner. Geordies do this weird kind of devotion better than any fans in the world. I genuinely believe that thousands of them have home-made United shrines that they actually kneel and pray to each night. Probably in the snow, topless, chanting 'Toon, Toon' until their eyeballs freeze over. The problem is that each time the latest Messiah fails to walk on water, or turn fishes into loaves, that unswerving faith must, surely, take a teeny-weeny bit of a battering. I watched the over-the-top Alan Shearer scenes at St James' Park with amusement, but also a keen eye for detail. And the reality is that there weren't anywhere near as many people there as when he signed for the club as a player. Or even when the quitter Keegan came back as manager. It's not that Shearer is any less popular up there. It's just that, well, their last few Messiahs let them down a bit, didn't they? The whole thing is straight out of The Life of Brian. 'Hail Messiah!' the crowd chants. 'I'm not the Messiah!' insists Shearer. 'I say you are, my Lord,' shouts a fan, 'and I should know. I've followed a few.' 'I'm not the Messiah,' protests Shearer. 'Will you listen? I am NOT the Messiah, honestly!' At which point a second wideeyed Geordie fan shouts: 'Only the true Messiah denies his divinity.' 'What sort of chance does that give me?' cries Shearer. 'All right! I am the Messiah!' 'He is the Messiah!' 'Now **** off!' 'How shall we **** off, O Lord?' 'Oh just go away, leave me alone.' As the pressure mounts on the Messiah, attention centres on his family home, where his mother confronts the disciples with disturbing news. 'There's no Messiah here, there's a mess all right but no Messiah.' But the fans don't give up. 'Your son is a born leader. We believe in him, Mrs Shearer. We believe he can give us hope of a new life, a new world, a better future!' At which juncture-the fans are given the ultimate reality check. 'Now you listen here, he's NOT the Messiah - he's a very naughty boy!' And there lies the truth. Newcastle are in a right old mess, and they've brought in a very naughty boy to try to get them out of it. Shearer was one of the hardest players I've ever seen. He was like one of those Ultimate Fighter cage brawlers - all fists, elbows, sneaky kicks and ruthless finishing. I remember watching him face up to Roy Keane in their infamous stand-off and thinking: 'That bloke's either bloody tough or bloody stupid.' And any man who can snaffle £1.8million for eight weeks' work is most definitely not stupid. Shearer was also a fantastically brave, determined and technically superb centreforward who, at his peak, could have led the line for any side in the world. But one thing Alan Shearer is most definitely not is the Messiah. He is just, as he always was on the pitch, a very crafty git. Because he can't lose, can he? If Newcastle still go down, as seems very likely after their embarrassing drubbing by Chelsea yesterday, it wasn't his fault, guv. It was that Spurs supporting, pint-guzzling, replica-shirt-in-boardoom moron Mike Ashley. If they stay up, he's the Messiah. Either way, a 38-year-old man with no managerial experience banks a humungous amount of cash slap bang in the middle of the country's worst-ever recession. And that, ladies and gentleman, is the only genuine miracle in this whole farcical story. The sad reality about Newcastle United is that they had the best manager they were ever going to have in Sir Bobby Robson. And look how they treated him. He took them from the bottom of the Premier League to finish fourth, third and fifth, qualifying twice for the Champions League. Then, after a short blip in form, he left his captain on the subs' bench and was sacked. And the man whose demotion led to Robson's sacking? Alan 'New Messiah' Shearer. Watch your back, Al. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fop 1 Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 He's right the Shearer did play a big old role in Robson going though, publicised or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manc-mag 1 Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 Is he having a pop at Shearer there for banking a load of cash out of the deal? I s'pose he gives all his time for free like, in contrast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peasepud 59 Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 Fucking bastards! Thought the twat was dead, this thread has put a right dampener on my Sunday I can tell you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fop 1 Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 Is he having a pop at Shearer there for banking a load of cash out of the deal? I s'pose he gives all his time for free like, in contrast. , just like yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howay 12496 Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 Fuck me man, he's like one of them blokes where when everyones having a laugh he comes out with something wank and kills the conversation and in the awkward silence keeps trying to rabble on what a fucking tosser. On top of that to pin Robsons sacking all on Shearer is mental if you blame anyone it was Dyer and his little group who by all accounts were acting up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaddockLad 14892 Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 Fucking bastards! Thought the twat was dead, this thread has put a right dampener on my Sunday I can tell you I personally can't argue with much of this particular column, the Valerenga thing when Shearer went straight to the press after being rested was definetly a nail in Sir Bob's coffin at SJP. In Sir Bobs book he says he was also trying to bring Emile Mpenza in at the time, and was blocked by Shepherd,who with Souness spent 25 mill on Owen and Luque and completely indulged Shearer to limp on and break Milburns record two season later,which is a nail in the coffin thats about to be lowered into the fizzy pop league. Morgan has also said in his hugely well informed column this season that Wenger should be sacked (he proffesses to be an Arsenal fan) and that Liverpool blew the league when B enitez had a "rant" at Fergie in a press conference. He knows next to fuck all about football but is a smooth talking gobshite who comes across well on camera, and as mentioned above doesn't take himself too seriously. British Soldiers and his ex employers at Trinity Mirror may not be so charitable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manc-mag 1 Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 Is he having a pop at Shearer there for banking a load of cash out of the deal? I s'pose he gives all his time for free like, in contrast. , just like yourself. obsessed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ewerk 26792 Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 (edited) I genuinely believe that thousands of them have home-made United shrines that they actually kneel and pray to each night. He's obviously seen the inside of Tom's bedroom. Edited April 5, 2009 by ewerk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snakehips 0 Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 Morgan must be related to Dennis Wise in some way. Both are exceedingly odious turds of the highest order. The article? Fish and chip wrapper today, let alone tomorrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now