Jusoda Kid 1 Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 (edited) oh aye we're a right bunch of "scratters" Wacky. Tell me, do the "scratters" round your way know of a decent place to get a decent bottle of Dom? Me and my mates are all out Get to fuck, you've been on minimum wage for as long as I can remember. And Alex, the allotment is coming on lovely. Mate, it's not about what you've got in your wallet, it's about who you've got in your phonebook. Andrew, one of the few slices of joy to be taken from this pie is the utterly relentless flow of beautiful women traipsing about city centres, parks and riversides as this weather hits. A book, and a big twatty pair of shades cover a multitude of nefarious gazes A bunch of plastic wankers who pretend to be your mates, not my scene Fish, I'll pass, thanks. ... well I'm not sure how the social elite could cope without a lecherous dwarven chav with a little man complex, but I'm sure we'll get by. oh and pipe down Scotty, I seem to remember you'd put on a pound or two... Fish is clearly seething at my comments about his luvvy friends. Edited April 21, 2009 by Wacky Jnr Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyluke 2 Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 It's bloody shit this, a load of my mates from with qualifications ranging from absolutley bugger all to first class degrees are really struggling to find work. I may have to look after grannies that piss themselves and stick my finger up old men's arses I really am lucky by comparison. The ridiculous thing is that we're short of doctors in my hospital as no-one is appyling for the empty posts, in my previous rotation I was doing the work of three. Anyone fancy appyling? Medicine is easy really... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusoda Kid 1 Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 It's bloody shit this, a load of my mates from with qualifications ranging from absolutley bugger all to first class degrees are really struggling to find work. I may have to look after grannies that piss themselves and stick my finger up old men's arses I really am lucky by comparison. The ridiculous thing is that we're short of doctors in my hospital as no-one is appyling for the empty posts, in my previous rotation I was doing the work of three. Anyone fancy appyling? Medicine is easy really... You could try looking a little closer to home to get to the bottom of that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew 4360 Posted April 21, 2009 Author Share Posted April 21, 2009 oh aye we're a right bunch of "scratters" Wacky. Tell me, do the "scratters" round your way know of a decent place to get a decent bottle of Dom? Me and my mates are all out Get to fuck, you've been on minimum wage for as long as I can remember. And Alex, the allotment is coming on lovely. Mate, it's not about what you've got in your wallet, it's about who you've got in your phonebook. Andrew, one of the few slices of joy to be taken from this pie is the utterly relentless flow of beautiful women traipsing about city centres, parks and riversides as this weather hits. A book, and a big twatty pair of shades cover a multitude of nefarious gazes Bear in mind you're in London and he's in Burnley. Hard to eye up a girl in a Burqa .. fucking Hell.. and the rain just keeps coming, doesn't it. (well, not down here, down here it's bloody gorgeous. ) aye its tough stuff, fortunately Im currently with a good girl and my parents let me live here without rent or anything so I'm not in dire straits, just losing my marbles a bit with having nothing to do all day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 9398 Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 Fish is clearly seething at my comments about his luvvy friends. Dahling, I tingle with rage. Little bit tempted to up sticks back to Newcastle to live rent free for a while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckyluke 2 Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 It's bloody shit this, a load of my mates from with qualifications ranging from absolutley bugger all to first class degrees are really struggling to find work. I may have to look after grannies that piss themselves and stick my finger up old men's arses I really am lucky by comparison. The ridiculous thing is that we're short of doctors in my hospital as no-one is appyling for the empty posts, in my previous rotation I was doing the work of three. Anyone fancy appyling? Medicine is easy really... You could try looking a little closer to home to get to the bottom of that. What have I done to earn such attention from you tonight Wacky? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 9398 Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 He's grumpy because his wife put the blue pills on the top shelf. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asteroidblitz 12 Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 FM 09 is the answer to your hours of inertia. Just make sure that your first move is to give Dennis Wise his P45. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peasepud 59 Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 Mate, it's not about what you've got in your wallet, it's about who you've got in your phonebook. Is that all the useful, influential people you can call on when you need that one big favour...like a job? Have you thought about going back to flogging conservatories to 90 year olds that live in high rises? Seriously though, I hope you and everyone else in this thread get sorted soon................you're bringing down the level of the board Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew 4360 Posted April 22, 2009 Author Share Posted April 22, 2009 FM 09 is the answer to your hours of inertia. Just make sure that your first move is to give Dennis Wise his P45. real world football has got me off FM just now and it always is Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusoda Kid 1 Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 It's bloody shit this, a load of my mates from with qualifications ranging from absolutley bugger all to first class degrees are really struggling to find work. I may have to look after grannies that piss themselves and stick my finger up old men's arses I really am lucky by comparison. The ridiculous thing is that we're short of doctors in my hospital as no-one is appyling for the empty posts, in my previous rotation I was doing the work of three. Anyone fancy appyling? Medicine is easy really... You could try looking a little closer to home to get to the bottom of that. What have I done to earn such attention from you tonight Wacky? You seemed lonely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Fish 9398 Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 Mate, it's not about what you've got in your wallet, it's about who you've got in your phonebook. Is that all the useful, influential people you can call on when you need that one big favour...like a job? Have you thought about going back to flogging conservatories to 90 year olds that live in high rises? Seriously though, I hope you and everyone else in this thread get sorted soon................you're bringing down the level of the board don't be upset, just I managed to convince you to part with your hard earned peeping tom cash. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jay Jay Sea 0 Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 I wander around London handing out my c.v. to agencies and whatnot, when I'm done with that I meet up with friends on the park, chill out in the sunshine. I do a bit of writing and that kind of thing. I'd much prefer to be bored in the park then bored on the sofa. It's all about 'opportunity', making the best of what you have (or haven't), improvising, getting out there. It's not about RAISING your profile, it's about keeping a LOW profile at all times. You'll see what I mean, you don't know how lucky you actually are. This is what I would suggest chap; * Keep your curtains closed 24/7 *Carry out street surveillance. Observe peoples comings and goings, track their movements, times of when they leave the house and return home. Then fcking burgle the joint. Create a route that can get you from A to B in the quickest time and where you are not exposed to humans on the street. People work through the day chap. Take advantage. Target homes that have cat-flaps, easy in, easy out. No smashing of windows either. Start with a few local houses then spread the net. Just take what you think you can sell, quickly and easily. Don't get side-tracked on the job by smearing human excrement on walls or feeling the urge to sniff the occupants knickers or underpants, cuming all over the shop. That's how you will get caught. DNA chap. That's your daytime filled chap. Now for the the night-time * Again, observe houses, movements, plan your route but this time, get fully tooled-up. You never know who's coming down them stairs and what they might be armed with whilst their heart races at 30000 beats per minute. Best you case the joint during the day then maybe rob the place of its contents in the evening just so you know where everything is located in the dark. Don't be AFRAID. That is key. Don't be afraid to club the occupant(s) to death to get what you want. It's dog eat dog chap. What's theirs is, effectively, yours. Remember that. Arm yourself with a crow-bar or an axe. An axe can take a head clean off if you strike correctly. Once you have killed one occupant, you must do the entire household. Make sure you clean the place and REMEMBER, don't panic and fck off just because you have killed a few people. You are there to do a job. Pointless leaving a number of bodies and when yo could have stolen a mobile phone or a few quid. Don't get side-tracked either by getting stuck up the 'stiffs' that you have just done in. That is a real temptation in my book. Like the Beatles said...'It's been a hard days night, and I've been working like a dog'......... Good luck chap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitman 2188 Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 I wander around London handing out my c.v. to agencies and whatnot, when I'm done with that I meet up with friends on the park, chill out in the sunshine. I do a bit of writing and that kind of thing. I'd much prefer to be bored in the park then bored on the sofa. It's all about 'opportunity', making the best of what you have (or haven't), improvising, getting out there. It's not about RAISING your profile, it's about keeping a LOW profile at all times. You'll see what I mean, you don't know how lucky you actually are. This is what I would suggest chap; * Keep your curtains closed 24/7 *Carry out street surveillance. Observe peoples comings and goings, track their movements, times of when they leave the house and return home. Then fcking burgle the joint. Create a route that can get you from A to B in the quickest time and where you are not exposed to humans on the street. People work through the day chap. Take advantage. Target homes that have cat-flaps, easy in, easy out. No smashing of windows either. Start with a few local houses then spread the net. Just take what you think you can sell, quickly and easily. Don't get side-tracked on the job by smearing human excrement on walls or feeling the urge to sniff the occupants knickers or underpants, cuming all over the shop. That's how you will get caught. DNA chap. That's your daytime filled chap. Now for the the night-time * Again, observe houses, movements, plan your route but this time, get fully tooled-up. You never know who's coming down them stairs and what they might be armed with whilst their heart races at 30000 beats per minute. Best you case the joint during the day then maybe rob the place of its contents in the evening just so you know where everything is located in the dark. Don't be AFRAID. That is key. Don't be afraid to club the occupant(s) to death to get what you want. It's dog eat dog chap. What's theirs is, effectively, yours. Remember that. Arm yourself with a crow-bar or an axe. An axe can take a head clean off if you strike correctly. Once you have killed one occupant, you must do the entire household. Make sure you clean the place and REMEMBER, don't panic and fck off just because you have killed a few people. You are there to do a job. Pointless leaving a number of bodies and when yo could have stolen a mobile phone or a few quid. Don't get side-tracked either by getting stuck up the 'stiffs' that you have just done in. That is a real temptation in my book. Like the Beatles said...'It's been a hard days night, and I've been working like a dog'......... Good luck chap. Very helpful advice. You could go places with this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Park Life 71 Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 (edited) I wander around London handing out my c.v. to agencies and whatnot, when I'm done with that I meet up with friends on the park, chill out in the sunshine. I do a bit of writing and that kind of thing. I'd much prefer to be bored in the park then bored on the sofa. It's all about 'opportunity', making the best of what you have (or haven't), improvising, getting out there. It's not about RAISING your profile, it's about keeping a LOW profile at all times. You'll see what I mean, you don't know how lucky you actually are. This is what I would suggest chap; * Keep your curtains closed 24/7 *Carry out street surveillance. Observe peoples comings and goings, track their movements, times of when they leave the house and return home. Then fcking burgle the joint. Create a route that can get you from A to B in the quickest time and where you are not exposed to humans on the street. People work through the day chap. Take advantage. Target homes that have cat-flaps, easy in, easy out. No smashing of windows either. Start with a few local houses then spread the net. Just take what you think you can sell, quickly and easily. Don't get side-tracked on the job by smearing human excrement on walls or feeling the urge to sniff the occupants knickers or underpants, cuming all over the shop. That's how you will get caught. DNA chap. That's your daytime filled chap. Now for the the night-time * Again, observe houses, movements, plan your route but this time, get fully tooled-up. You never know who's coming down them stairs and what they might be armed with whilst their heart races at 30000 beats per minute. Best you case the joint during the day then maybe rob the place of its contents in the evening just so you know where everything is located in the dark. Don't be AFRAID. That is key. Don't be afraid to club the occupant(s) to death to get what you want. It's dog eat dog chap. What's theirs is, effectively, yours. Remember that. Arm yourself with a crow-bar or an axe. An axe can take a head clean off if you strike correctly. Once you have killed one occupant, you must do the entire household. Make sure you clean the place and REMEMBER, don't panic and fck off just because you have killed a few people. You are there to do a job. Pointless leaving a number of bodies and when yo could have stolen a mobile phone or a few quid. Don't get side-tracked either by getting stuck up the 'stiffs' that you have just done in. That is a real temptation in my book. Like the Beatles said...'It's been a hard days night, and I've been working like a dog'......... Good luck chap. On the button, salient advice from JJ as usual. I tend to dress up as a copper and take part in the investigation the next day just for that extra giggle/misdirection/destroying the crime scene for forensics.** **Only do this if you are a pro (like me) though. Edited April 23, 2009 by Park Life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manc-mag 1 Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 I wander around London handing out my c.v. to agencies and whatnot, when I'm done with that I meet up with friends on the park, chill out in the sunshine. I do a bit of writing and that kind of thing. I'd much prefer to be bored in the park then bored on the sofa. * Keep your curtains closed 24/7 *Carry out street surveillance. Observe peoples comings and goings, track their movements, times of when they leave the house and return home. Then fcking burgle the joint. Create a route that can get you from A to B in the quickest time and where you are not exposed to humans on the street. People work through the day chap. Take advantage. Target homes that have cat-flaps, easy in, easy out. No smashing of windows either. Start with a few local houses then spread the net. Just take what you think you can sell, quickly and easily. Don't get side-tracked on the job by smearing human excrement on walls or feeling the urge to sniff the occupants knickers or underpants, cuming all over the shop. That's how you will get caught. DNA chap. The imagery man. Never mind smashed windows, there'd be smashed doors. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jusoda Kid 1 Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 I wander around London handing out my c.v. to agencies and whatnot, when I'm done with that I meet up with friends on the park, chill out in the sunshine. I do a bit of writing and that kind of thing. I'd much prefer to be bored in the park then bored on the sofa. It's all about 'opportunity', making the best of what you have (or haven't), improvising, getting out there. It's not about RAISING your profile, it's about keeping a LOW profile at all times. You'll see what I mean, you don't know how lucky you actually are. This is what I would suggest chap; * Keep your curtains closed 24/7 *Carry out street surveillance. Observe peoples comings and goings, track their movements, times of when they leave the house and return home. Then fcking burgle the joint. Create a route that can get you from A to B in the quickest time and where you are not exposed to humans on the street. People work through the day chap. Take advantage. Target homes that have cat-flaps, easy in, easy out. No smashing of windows either. Start with a few local houses then spread the net. Just take what you think you can sell, quickly and easily. Don't get side-tracked on the job by smearing human excrement on walls or feeling the urge to sniff the occupants knickers or underpants, cuming all over the shop. That's how you will get caught. DNA chap. That's your daytime filled chap. Now for the the night-time * Again, observe houses, movements, plan your route but this time, get fully tooled-up. You never know who's coming down them stairs and what they might be armed with whilst their heart races at 30000 beats per minute. Best you case the joint during the day then maybe rob the place of its contents in the evening just so you know where everything is located in the dark. Don't be AFRAID. That is key. Don't be afraid to club the occupant(s) to death to get what you want. It's dog eat dog chap. What's theirs is, effectively, yours. Remember that. Arm yourself with a crow-bar or an axe. An axe can take a head clean off if you strike correctly. Once you have killed one occupant, you must do the entire household. Make sure you clean the place and REMEMBER, don't panic and fck off just because you have killed a few people. You are there to do a job. Pointless leaving a number of bodies and when yo could have stolen a mobile phone or a few quid. Don't get side-tracked either by getting stuck up the 'stiffs' that you have just done in. That is a real temptation in my book. Like the Beatles said...'It's been a hard days night, and I've been working like a dog'......... Good luck chap. On the button, salient advice from JJ as usual. I tend to dress up as a copper and take part in the investigation the next day just for that extra giggle/misdirection/destroying the crime scene for forensics.** **Only do this if you are a pro (like me) though. American Traffic cop? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest alex Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Park Life 71 Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 I wander around London handing out my c.v. to agencies and whatnot, when I'm done with that I meet up with friends on the park, chill out in the sunshine. I do a bit of writing and that kind of thing. I'd much prefer to be bored in the park then bored on the sofa. It's all about 'opportunity', making the best of what you have (or haven't), improvising, getting out there. It's not about RAISING your profile, it's about keeping a LOW profile at all times. You'll see what I mean, you don't know how lucky you actually are. This is what I would suggest chap; * Keep your curtains closed 24/7 *Carry out street surveillance. Observe peoples comings and goings, track their movements, times of when they leave the house and return home. Then fcking burgle the joint. Create a route that can get you from A to B in the quickest time and where you are not exposed to humans on the street. People work through the day chap. Take advantage. Target homes that have cat-flaps, easy in, easy out. No smashing of windows either. Start with a few local houses then spread the net. Just take what you think you can sell, quickly and easily. Don't get side-tracked on the job by smearing human excrement on walls or feeling the urge to sniff the occupants knickers or underpants, cuming all over the shop. That's how you will get caught. DNA chap. That's your daytime filled chap. Now for the the night-time * Again, observe houses, movements, plan your route but this time, get fully tooled-up. You never know who's coming down them stairs and what they might be armed with whilst their heart races at 30000 beats per minute. Best you case the joint during the day then maybe rob the place of its contents in the evening just so you know where everything is located in the dark. Don't be AFRAID. That is key. Don't be afraid to club the occupant(s) to death to get what you want. It's dog eat dog chap. What's theirs is, effectively, yours. Remember that. Arm yourself with a crow-bar or an axe. An axe can take a head clean off if you strike correctly. Once you have killed one occupant, you must do the entire household. Make sure you clean the place and REMEMBER, don't panic and fck off just because you have killed a few people. You are there to do a job. Pointless leaving a number of bodies and when yo could have stolen a mobile phone or a few quid. Don't get side-tracked either by getting stuck up the 'stiffs' that you have just done in. That is a real temptation in my book. Like the Beatles said...'It's been a hard days night, and I've been working like a dog'......... Good luck chap. On the button, salient advice from JJ as usual. I tend to dress up as a copper and take part in the investigation the next day just for that extra giggle/misdirection/destroying the crime scene for forensics.** **Only do this if you are a pro (like me) though. American Traffic cop? George Michael toilet cop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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