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NJS

Dating advice

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Yeah well, you know, frankly - you’re doomed. You and all the shy people are. Natural selection favours the loud and the aggressive.

I don’t mean this in a bad way, but genetically, you are a cul-de-sac." -Bernard Black ;)

 

best of luck with it! My friends sister did the same and is engaged now etc.

 

Dating services don't seem to have the same stigma attached to them as they would have years ago, "she needed a dating agency?" would apply to his sister. Filled with normal people now.

 

You realise this thread now becomes a "blog" of your adventures though right? you can't make it and not keep us all informed.

Still puzzles me how shy people can use dating agencies though, surely it's really nerve wrecking going out to meet someone you don't know without your normal social group and such around you.

 

 

Edited by Ant

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Best place on the internet for dating advice this place.

 

....and Childcare....and healthcare.....and boilercare....etc.

 

Its a one-stop shop for modern life.

 

I wish i could give NJS some advice but the only two mates who use these sort of sites do it to shag birds, not go out with them.

 

One of them told me that he met this one bird who he shagged on the first date and she asked him to double-fist her. What sort of bird meets a man off the interenet and gets into a fisting session? Let alone a double. He also uses that dateacougar.com and reckons he met this Russian milf with 'cracking bolt-ones but a moody boat'. His words not mine.

 

Funny old world really.

 

Brilliant. NJS this is where you need to be.

 

Had a quick search and theres 101 signed up and ready to go in this area including.

 

toontas.png

 

I'm 5'6", slim but curvy size 12, have dark hair and green eyes and I'm likely to get under your skin.

 

Mind, there's a few old boilers on there as well.

 

 

Scabies or crabs? You decide!

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Mates getting married to a lass he met through one of these, and she's not a psychopath. So off the back of my experience if them it works 100% ofthe time.

 

I'd take the girls out on a couple of dates, and see who you best get on with. Then give it a week before making your final decision. Given you're not fucking any of them, you shouldn't feel guilty or anything.

 

Just don't be in too much of a hurry to get into a relationship, there's a lot of getting to know eachother that you'd need to do. If it's been a while the urge will be to leap into a comfortable pattern with her.

 

Also don't settle, 3 birds have shown an interest, it may be an indication there's more out there who'd be keen.

 

Oh and finger them all and the one who smells nicest is the keeper.

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Okay this is about concepts and ground rules more than anything. The first ground rule is that any piss-taking will be taking in good grace. The second is that any request for pics will be fucked off.

 

Background:

 

I haven't been out with anyone for quite a while. Criminal shyness means I was never any good at the cold sell situation of bars/clubs and have only went out in the past with people I've worked with or met through mutual friends. Over the past couple of years I've become a bit lonely and also started to have a sad sense of time running out so I decided that in a bit of a cliched fashion as a new decade was starting I'd try something new and I signed up for an online dating site.

 

Situation:

 

I've now reached the free email exchange with 3 lasses and I went out with one last Saturday and had a really great time and we plan to repeat it either this week or next. I have a good feeling about her and can see at least a decent opening phase. The thing is I'm not sure about "stringing along" the other two. In fact one has hinted about meeting this weekend which I don't mind in theory but what is completely new to me is this "dating more than one person at once" thing. My gut instinct is that its a bit dishonest and I should let the first "relationship" run its course but at the back of mind is the idea that if it say lasts just a month or two could I in good grace call one of the others off the subs bench in any kind of honest way?

 

If I did feel okay about dating two at once should I be honest with the lasses themselves?

 

To be clear there is no way I would start a sexual relationship with more than one at once but that presents its own problem - does the relationship that proceeds naturally to sex first become the automatic "winner"?

 

What if at the back of my mind I liked one of them more but the other one was eager to progress further therefore crossing the line?

 

 

Does anyone have any thoughts, advice, experiences or just plain mockery?

 

I should also mention that I already have mates who would take the SMO/Wacky approach of telling me to shag them all behind each others backs and not give a shit - not going to happen.

 

Forget all this shit about 'dating'....It's a conveyer belt americanism term dreamt up in a country with the personal skills of anthrax spores.

 

Life is about taking risks (be open with them and tell them everything) and whenever women are concerned the most importnat thing is feeling comfortable with each other and 'talking'...All my succesful ep with women has been cause I can talk them to death (they love that). Women above all want to communicate and feel comfortable with the man they are out with, their emotional and chemical needs are comlplex (unlike ours) and their emotional centres in the brain process twice as much data.

 

I've done internet dating (recently) and although it has been a laugh the women tend to be looking for 'packages' (the finished article) and many already have significant others or boyfriends in the background (which they sometimes admit to), so for light laughs it is fine, but you can't replace the 'universal' with a machine that puts two people (who have lied about their likes and dislikes and persona) together and think it will work. On the whole it doesn't.

 

You need to understand that the people around you and your friends are the 'goldmine', it is here or at work you will find 'that relationship'....7/10 people or summat end up with a person they met at work/uni. Just start being honest about yourself to women cause in my experience you really don't need to 'play a part' or 'act the man' etc...It's a cliche but be yourself and be honest as you have on here. They love shy men. When you gain some confidence - mix it up a little. ;)

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(who have lied about their likes and dislikes and persona)

 

makes ya wonder was there any fiction added to NJS's!

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(who have lied about their likes and dislikes and persona)

 

makes ya wonder was there any fiction added to NJS's!

 

Everyone lies on that opening 'about yorself' form. ;)

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Still puzzles me how shy people can use dating agencies though, surely it's really nerve wrecking going out to meet someone you don't know without your normal social group and such around you.

 

I've always self-analysed my cold sell shyness as a fear of rejection from low self-confidence/self-esteem issues combined with a sort of laziness that says why waste time with someone who may be in a relationship or whatever already or just not interested. I've never really had a problem with talking to women on a daily basis without any of that kind of pressure.

 

I think what appealed about the almost blind date situation is at least you know where you both sort of stand to start with - obviously single and looking for someone but backed by some decent intial conversation via email.

 

It may be that I enjoyed meeting the lass on Saturday for this reason or it maybe a genuine click but I didn't feel shy at all - and to echo CT's post it was very relaxed and unhurried.

 

I also think Parky was right about an American/media definition of "dating" which had probably warped my initial thinking - judging by the responses from everyone the way I was thinking wasn't too far from the sensible view.

 

Anyway thanks for all the posts and I'll try and update this thread with any progress ;)

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Do what ever feels right for you.

 

If you dont feel comfortable dating a few lasses at the same time, and would rather commit your energies to one person and see how it goes then thats what you should do.

 

FYI I met my now Fiance, soon to be wife on one of those sites, and like you had a few others sniffing around at the same time. I never met up with any of them as felt it was better for me to go out with one girl at a time, give her a chance and then move on to the next if it didnt work out.

 

For some people the scatter gun approach is better, and for some its better to get one in your sniper sights so to speak.

 

Ask yourself the following question:

 

Are you going to enjoy your dates with the other women if you go on them, or will part of you feel like you're doing something wrong? (Not that you would be but you still might feel that way).

 

Oh and erm to make this a slightly more manly answer... shag them all and at the point of orgasm pull out, jizz in your hand, shout "go web" and chuck it in their faces! The one that licks her lips afterwards is the keeper!

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Guest Stevie
Best place on the internet for dating advice this place.

 

....and Childcare....and healthcare.....and boilercare....etc.

 

Its a one-stop shop for modern life.

 

I wish i could give NJS some advice but the only two mates who use these sort of sites do it to shag birds, not go out with them.

 

One of them told me that he met this one bird who he shagged on the first date and she asked him to double-fist her. What sort of bird meets a man off the interenet and gets into a fisting session? Let alone a double. He also uses that dateacougar.com and reckons he met this Russian milf with 'cracking bolt-ones but a moody boat'. His words not mine.

 

Funny old world really.

 

Brilliant. NJS this is where you need to be.

 

Had a quick search and theres 101 signed up and ready to go in this area including.

 

toontas.png

 

You'll do as you're told, won't you?

 

29 year old woman who likes to get her own way with fit, submissive boys.

 

I'm 5'6", slim but curvy size 12, have dark hair and green eyes and I'm likely to get under your skin.

 

Likes biting and scratching then kissing it better. Expects fitness, intelligence and obedience.

 

;):razz::)

 

 

 

Mind, there's a few old boilers on there as well.

Fuckin hell she looks like Adrian Balboa after a dose of ebola.

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Are you going to enjoy your dates with the other women if you go on them, or will part of you feel like you're doing something wrong? (Not that you would be but you still might feel that way).

 

That may be how I was leaning but I think I've decided to take a testing the water approach and maybe try it once to see how I feel in practice.

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Also try wearing a blazer, being a bit bald and a massive bellend; it works fucking wonders for me

 

;)

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Also try wearing a blazer, being a bit bald and a massive bellend; it works fucking wonders for me

 

;)

 

:)

 

Or rabbit on about Film Noir and that 'they' are out to get you. Does the trick with the sexy mad ones. :):razz:

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"No, no, no, no, 'be yourself' is just something people say Dougal. Never, ever, ever be yourself when talking to women".

 

I thought he was on the beginners course. :wank:

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"There are three rules when it comes talking to women. Number one, ask questions, don't say anything, because women, all they wanna do is talk about themselves so you're just gonna let them do that. Two, be cool, and three, be kind of a dick. Look, be like David Caruso in Jade."

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I swear I love you lot, You so know how to make a girl smile :wank::D:rolleyes:

 

 

your going end up being one of the 3 aren't you

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I swear I love you lot, You so know how to make a girl smile :wank::D:rolleyes:

 

 

your going end up being one of the 3 aren't you

 

 

ooh, you think I'll be lucky enough?

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Guest alex

If you're looking for a relationship meeting someone in a bar or club where you can't ever hear yourself think is probably one of the worst ways you could meet someone in any case. It's a good way of getting your leg over though.

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I swear I love you lot, You so know how to make a girl smile :wank::D:rolleyes:

 

 

your going end up being one of the 3 aren't you

 

 

ooh, you think I'll be lucky enough?

Depends if NJS ticked the box saying he'd accept a transsexual.

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I swear I love you lot, You so know how to make a girl smile :D:rolleyes:B)

 

 

your going end up being one of the 3 aren't you

 

 

ooh, you think I'll be lucky enough?

Depends if NJS ticked the box saying he'd accept a transsexual.

 

Then no unless he also ticked the box marked pre-op. :wank:

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If you're looking for a relationship meeting someone in a bar or club where you can't ever hear yourself think is probably one of the worst ways you could meet someone in any case. It's a good way of getting your leg over though.

Tru dat.

 

Best "relationships" I've had always started with girls from work or through friends.

 

Helps you filter out the crazies. Also, don't think I'd have sufficient respect for a girl I pulled Ina bar/club to actually se her again :wank:

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