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Kevin Carr's Gloves

Most corrective operations

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I had surgery to reduce my unfeasibly large testicles. I was on the ward for two days prior to the op and was told to masturbate 6 times a day till it was time for my operation which I dutifully did. On the second day I passed a private room where this ugly old bloke was getting a blow job from this stunning nurse. Later on I collared him in the common room and he told me that he had the same as me. "How come I've got to have a wank yet you get piped from a nurse?" I asked. He replied, "Well I am with bupa."

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I had surgery to reduce my unfeasibly large testicles. I was on the ward for two days prior to the op and was told to masturbate 6 times a day till it was time for my operation which I dutifully did. On the second day I passed a private room where this ugly old bloke was getting a blow job from this stunning nurse. Later on I collared him in the common room and he told me that he had the same as me. "How come I've got to have a wank yet you get piped from a nurse?" I asked. He replied, "Well I am with bupa."

:lol:

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2 laparoscopies for girl stuff with another one on the cards. Can't beat the opening post but I get to watch surgery every day of my working life. Nowt like seeing bowels all over the table or a leg amputated before you have your dinner ;)

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2 laparoscopies for girl stuff with another one on the cards. Can't beat the opening post but I get to watch surgery every day of my working life. Nowt like seeing bowels all over the table or a leg amputated before you have your dinner ;)

 

I couldn't eat straight after having an amputation either

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Spinal anaesthetic is a marvellous thing. Injection of local anaesthetic into the spinal fluid makes everything from that level down totally numb for 4hrs. We do hip/knee replacments/foot surgery/caesarians and lower limb amputations with the patient awake but unable to feel anything. We give sedation if they don't want to remember sawing or hammering, but some of them don't want it. We don't make them watch the surgery or anything :lol:

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Do they ever regain sensation half way through?

 

If the surgery takes much longer than anticipated then it can start to wear off in which case we have to put them off to sleep with a general anaesthetic. There's never a case of "one minute it was working and the next I can feel everything" It's a gradual regaining of nerve sensation so we've always got time to do a GA.

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I was wide awake for the radio ablation therapy. That was fun a surgeon with a wire up your leg into your heart making your heart go at 350bpm at tge flick of a switch then asking you not to squirm.

 

Did you have the radio ablation for pain relief KCG?

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I was once hit on the head at work and knocked out and rushed to hospital. As I was slowly coming round I mumbled to this absolutely stunning nurse, "are my testicles black?" she looked a bit embarrassed but when I asked again she slowly lifted my bed sheet up and grabbed my family jewels in her hand moving slowly from side to side before telling me that no, my testicles weren't black. As I became a bit more coherent I said, "that's lovely, but I said "have my tests come back?"

 

 

 

:lol: Is this a fantasy..?

 

Class, if true; coulda been a Carry On script.

:whistle:

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