Smeeagain one of the best yet.

[bobbyshinton 59]

I've hit a new level with this (don't say it )

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old son

playing with his new electric train in the living room.

 

She heard the train stop & her son saying, "All of you b*astards who want

off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you

b*astards who are getting on, get you're a*ss in the train cause we're

going down the tracks."

 

The Mother walked into the room where her son was playing and said "we

don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to

your room & stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play

with your train, but I want you to

use nice language."

 

Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom & resumed playing with his

train.

 

Soon the train stopped & the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who

are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings

with you. We thank you for travelling with us today & hope your trip was a

pleasant one."

 

She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask

you

to store all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no

smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey

with us today."

 

As the mother began to smile, the child added,

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"For those of you who are p!ssed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please direct

your complaints to the fat b!tch in the kitchen.

the best yet?

[Renton 18009]

No, I think that is your worst effort.

 

3/10

[JJ 0]

Old, but I still like it.

[spongebob toonpants 3642]

boooom!!

[Dr Kenneth Noisewater 0]

Made me chuckle.

[Lazarus 0]

Go Shinton!

[Guest Patrokles]

Although, as we all know, when trains are delayed or cancelled, there is never any explanation in the real world.

[Meenzer 14134]

Although, as we all know, when trains are delayed or cancelled, there is never any explanation in the real world.

That depends. My favourite one recently was "We apologise for the cancellation of this service. This is due to ...... (flustered pause) ...... the cancellation of this service."

[Dr Kenneth Noisewater 0]

Leaves on the line?

The wrong type of snow?

[WubbleUC 0]

Although, as we all know, when trains are delayed or cancelled, there is never any explanation in the real world.

That depends. My favourite one recently was "We apologise for the cancellation of this service. This is due to ...... (flustered pause) ...... the cancellation of this service."

 

 

It was only a half an hour delay like, but we got one in London once, where the lass came on and said 'We apologise for the 30 minute delay, this is due to reasons fully within our control. Thank you.'

[Meenzer 14134]

Although, as we all know, when trains are delayed or cancelled, there is never any explanation in the real world.

That depends. My favourite one recently was "We apologise for the cancellation of this service. This is due to ...... (flustered pause) ...... the cancellation of this service."

 

 

It was only a half an hour delay like, but we got one in London once, where the lass came on and said 'We apologise for the 30 minute delay, this is due to reasons fully within our control. Thank you.'

 

I appreciate honesty like that.

[Guest Patrokles]

My favourites are when you're sat in a small station with little by way of entertainment or comfort, and on the screen it shows your train being steadily delayed more and more, and then they announce 'the 13.55 service to Cardiff Central has been cancelled.' (that's it). At about 13.45.

[Renton 18009]

The excuse I was given for my train being late from Manchester yesterday was that the train in front had a broken light - this was at midday btw. We also passed the site of that Virgin train crash and there was very little left of that car......

[BlueStar 0]

I've had "This train will be delayed, as the train in front has had a collision.... With a cow."