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Bollocks, if you worked for the NHS you’d have mentioned it before now.

On the plus side, No Deal is going to seem like an absolute doddle after this.

If it is declared null and void. The headline will be...... Liverpool -18 Covid-19

I can just imagine his poor young kids, sitting watching 4 frozen chickens slowly rotting in the garden. “ Daaa-aaad, when will they start making eggs?” Edit; the average going rate for a ready-to-lay chicken is between £15-20 each. Whoever sold the Tory Tit four for £20 obviously saw him coming and sold him some budgies with red Haribos glued on their heads.

Italy

It doesn't of course, but it's got a huge propensity of attacking a certain demographic who generally have a "gammon" viewpoint. My parents are just as likely to be victims of course, and they are massive europhiles. This is exactly the time I'd like Europe to act cooperatively. And for the US to have retained its pandemic response team. But Breixuters like you and nationalistic cretins like Trump have ripped up the hard fought protocols we had. You voted for it, own it.

Now you suddenly care about others? Fuck right off man.

She's a horrible cunt.

At that price, the fuckers probably have bird flu

Well it really hasn’t been for you.

Members of the ERG did probably invest heavily in undertaker businesses and a company producing blue coffins. That’s probably Polish though.

We’ve had a couple of emails Thurs & Fri that have really fucked me off. Basically the huge corporate facilities company we work for are sending the majority of management & admin home if they can do their job there and have asked the mobile engineers to just stick to “essential travel” Engineers: “ what is essential travel?” MTFM: “ errr your usual round of reactive & pre planned maintenance” Es: “no change then?” MTFM “errr, no. Make sure you wash your hands though” Me: “ So the places we look after are similar environments to the ones you’re sending colleagues home from. The level of risk is plainly the same” MTFM: “.........” Me “ I’ve got an underlying respiratory health issue. Have you assessed what would happen to me if I was to pick the virus up at work?” MTFM: “...........” Am throwing the towel in on Monday. I got a letter from my consultant yesterday with lots of bonkers sounding medical words in it and a fairly scary final paragraph about what’s going to happen if my latest round of drugs don’t work . I’ll send that to the occupational health woman and see what gives. I’ve got 14 days sick to take before the end of the month. Not enough but they’re not giving even tiniest of fucks about all of us who actually earn the profits that enables them to work in plush offices and get to go home in times like these. Cunts.

I’ve no idea why Karen Brady (whose side are just out of the relegation spots on goal difference) would want the season declared null and void.

My sister in law saw a young girl nearly in tears in Asda yesterday because the shelves were empty of nappies. Thankfully a worker checked out the back and brought her a couple of packs but she only took one, obviously couldn’t afford both. These are the sort of people that stockpiling is really hurting.

The gambling fat cunt will be wishing he took the Saudi's money and fucked off now. Season is done. The bin dippers will be declared champions (and thankfully they will never get to actually feel like they won the league), the bottom three won't be relegated (for legal reasons), the Premier League will have to return 25% of their TV rights to the broadcasters and everything will be reset/start again for the 21/22 season, with lots of money lost in-between. Mr High Street will also lose money hand over fist with the arse dropping out of retail. It's probably the one way he will be forced to sell up without the club dropping down a divison or two.

At the risk of being seen at attempting to ‘score points’. This policy does seem to be aimed at getting the whole thing over with quickly rather than saving as many lives as we can?

Best idea he’s had since he suggested NUST buy a pub.

I was in Tesco first thing and it was bedlam. Felt a right cunt sidling up to a shelf stacking lass and saying "have you any idea where the chia seeds are?".

Fair enough, and well done anyway for the promotion. At least I can work from home when the shit hits the fan. And watch Netflix.

Oh no, we have a villa holiday with friends booked for that week. In Tenerife.

I’m of Irish blood, if anyone’s profiting from famine I deserve a slice.

Turtle slurt.

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.nytimes.com/2020/03/14/technology/coronavirus-purell-wipes-amazon-sellers.amp.html Good.

Yes, she was well known for flirting with powerful Roman men. (Flirting on the Nile on her personal ship). When she wasn't flirting on the Nile she was on solid ground chatting them up.

Anyone ever done their DNA on ancestry?.... disappointing lack of Viking in mine. No t surprising that my brother & cousins on mums side are all gingers https://www.ancestry.co.uk/dna/origins/share/1e035f1b-d34e-407a-9f00-0040a4311676

Was going to say its no coincidence the two regimes with the slackest approach are the ones that chase the dollar/pound the most.

I think a large part of the problem here is the “Peter and the Wolf” effect. The Tory government have openly and brazenly lied to the populace so often and for so long, that nobody trusts them on anything anymore, even if they might be right.

Don't risk anything you don't have to, Rob.

Teenage son?

It's caused by that Bungle cunt in number 10. Saying we're all going to fucking die. His pals in Murdoch Media have caused a fucking frenzy. It's absolute madness.

The Sun doing its utmost best to increase popularity on Merseyside.

Thread

Aye, if you’ve got Irish, Scottish, or Northumbrian heritage, chances are there’s some Viking tadpoles swimming about in there.

MacIvar: “son of Ivan” Macsween: “Son of Sven” etc etc

Some positive news amongst the meltdown. https://nypost.com/2020/03/13/canadian-scientists-make-breakthrough-in-coronavirus-vaccine-effort/

Not that we know about, comrade.

Sainsbury’s was funny as fuck today. I only went in for chickpeas & there was some comic scenes. I stocked up on store cupboard stuff weeks ago because my mate kept telling me to but Christ he was right

The wife did this imagining herself as possibly a 'Spanish Princess' or a distant relation to Cleopatra or something exotic*. The first results she got back were 100% British and Irish. She wasn't impressed. *I'm exaggerating a little bit, obviously. Just a bit though. She's now apparently 63% Northumbrian, 15% Northern Ireland and SW Scotland, 4% Ireland, 4.7% NW Scotland, 4% East Anglia, 2.7% central England, 2.3% South Yorkshire, 1.9% Cornwall, 1.1% NW England. (I've left a few point percentage points out if anyone is bored enough to add them up) I've also obviously had to ask her to check and she knows I'm taking the piss so expecting her revenge in the next day or so.

I read somewhere that the DNA history of Iceland showed that the original settlers were Viking males, and Celtic women- the implication being that the Vikings stopped in Scotland/Ireland to “pick up essential supplies” before heading off to their new colony. Edit; it’s a good few paras down in this https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.history.com/.amp/news/viking-slavery-raids-evidence

Most of which have closed to funding cuts.

I understand and agree with aims we have set ourselves, to flatten the curve. And I agree it is here to stay. But what I don't understand is why we have introduced no measures to achieve this, other than advice. I dont think the advice will work in a population where a substantive proportion live a day to day pocket to mouth existence. And so many are demonstrably selfish. My overwhelming concern is the NHS's capacity is insufficient to cope, which will produce a negative feedback cycle. I hope I'm wrong and the government is right more than ever.

So you’ve gone from saying that mass gatherings have little effect on the levels of transmission to believing that the government is using mass gatherings in order to transmit the virus? That’s quite a fucking turnaround for you. And I understand the theory behind herd immunity, the problem is that the government appear to be happy to sacrifice the vulnerable. The big problem I can see here is that they’re not encouraging testing for those with the illness and so don’t have an accurate figure of the number of infected to accurately decide when to ‘turn off the taps’ other than using hospital admission figures. We’re basically being used as guinea pigs in Cummings’ giant science experiment.

Season is done, euros are done, Olympics: done. You can forget about your summer holiday in the med and we’re cancelling Christmas

"Guys! Guys! I think this is the time we can finally say I've got the hang of this dieting lark! I've lost almost a stone in less than a week! It's the closest I've been to fitting in 32" jeans in 30 years! It's called the 'Corona diet!......Guys, Guys! Where you going?"