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Maybe that's exactly what the anti-gun activists need to be doing, the Stoneman Douglas kids and the Sandy Hook parents and all. Fill up the media just outright telling these people their dead relatives are fake. See if the penny drops.

NOW?!

His stag do might have been a washout but the party after his funeral is going to be epic.

Well, true - if enough people realise that money is only imaginary anyway...

On a lighter note...

A friend of mine went into hospital yesterday with corona-virus they put him on one of the new Dyson ventilators last night and today he is really picking up very well

a new career? at least you won't have to work with those arseholes anymore, and you'll be too off your tits to care

My eldest daughter has just started working at a pharmacy. Don't. Even. Think. About. It. Wykiki.

While they rake in the profits from your free labour? Plus we could do without a mass shooting in a pharmacy right now, ta.

Pharmacy is a cracking idea as they’ll have adult nappies.

Once the antibody tests come in, I think maybe they will introduce badges, perhaps to label people who aren't immune. Something like a star maybe, could be worn as an arm band?

spilling your pint as soon as you roll away from the bar and spending the next hour careering round the pub trying to slurp up the puddle.

You weren’t joking when you said you’d be back to despair today.

But logically he should never have been elected in the first place. I’d like to think this finishes his chances but who knows?

And those pesky Dems were so close to getting rid of him just in time.

Has anybody tried the phone? Usually works for me.

It has received the comment it deserves:

I see the fucking farmers are moaning and wanting to bring in migrant workers the tory loving cunts.

Or a pizza shop in Walker. (Gemmill wouldn't have went in it).

Which was the good point?

I read a suggestion of a passport type document. Edit : for those immune.

"Carnage at a Newcastle City Centre nightspot tonight as 4 die and a further 30 are injured by a runaway zorb"

Good point, I need my pacemaker replacing this year, so you cunts can stop in the house and shut your fucking gobs for the next 6 months. It's gonna get mental when we start doing the corona hokey cokey though. Imagine the first day they re open the pubs ffs.

But imagine when the restrictions come off altogether. Lads walking down the street windmilling their knobs (you can look at them). Lasses with their baps out (I'll be looking at them). Humping in the streets. It'll be like VE Day. It's gonna be boom time for sexy fuckers like me.

Now I'm on a down day again. Cheers.

I’m terms of workers’ wages then yes but what’s the alternative? In terms of bailouts then this is very different, these companies aren’t ordinarily loss making and so any bailout based on the government taking a stake shouldn’t mean massive losses.

They can send people back to work and lift the lockdowns. That's how they stop it. COVID-19 isn't causing the economic problems on its own, our response to it is. It could and almost certainly would cause a healthcare crisis on its own, but even that wouldn't be as bad as total economic collapse. If we get the latter, society is done. It's 2 days without food, I believe, for the wheels to come off society and Mad Max to start looking like a documentary. They will not let that happen, they just won't. They'll take as many hits, as many companies going under as they can realistically afford to do, but there is a red line somewhere - once we hit that, the lockdown gets lifted to save the majority of the economy, no matter how many lives it costs.

There’s the full bit, Piers.

Not now Kato!

Lots of people are re-evaluating their needs, lots of people are realising that we don’t need half of the shit we fight over. I think/hope there’ll be some change as a society for the better after this, but too many people have too much of their lives invested in capitalism to tear it down. Which is depressing as fuck.

He’ll blame the Chinese. Whether he gets elected or not will depend on how many he’s able to convince. If shit gets really bad for him he could go down the route of full on conspira-loon and says it’s been deliberate. Alex Jones et al will certainly be claiming this (if they aren’t already).

People always say the right "are definitely fucked this time" and honestly, I just don't believe it anymore. They're basically invincible. I can't even bring myself to hope that you're right. I'll be amazed if Trump doesn't win, especially since it now appears clear that Joe "the rapist" Biden is not going to be able to unify the moderates and the left. The left are going for him with venom, and it's depressing as fuck.

Just caught Peter Hitchins on GMTV reminding everyone what an absolute cunt he is

I don't see any way that Trump gets reelected now btw. There is gonna be no way for him to explain away how the number of people that died in America is many multiples of the number that died across the rest of the globe. His base is going to lose family members. I don't think even they will forgive their cult leader when all is said and done. Fucking desperate that it came to this mind.

I'm worried about J69. I think a large spider keeps walking across his keyboard or phone.

Might this change the picture? 6k deaths would be an amazing result. It doesn’t feel like our leaders have done an amazing job so far. I hope I’m wrong, obviously, but I fear the worst.

Damn, now I got the bug. Knowing my luck I will catch corona and die before this saga is over...

Raab doesn't realise how important his mouth is for accessing his stomach.

@trooper Fine running conditions in the big smoke today, low clouds and drizzle keeping the less hardy park-goers away. Distancing protocol being observed by all but the occasional dawdling family filling the width of the path as if it belonged to them. Subtle, low-key signage (pictured in happier weather) appears to be having the desired effect.

@Monkeys Fist Your country needs you

I’m so bored I just made a sourdough starter. Then I read the full recipe and I have to feed the cunt for 6 days before I can use it. cba

I'd have been self isolating from day one if this was the criteria?

My housemate has to self-isolate because work sent him home because he was slightly hot Think that goes for me too so time for 2 weeks of pure onanism from yours truly.

Turd immunity

It would be much funnier to just cancel the season and ruin the scousers' lives.

Alan Shoulder article..much better than my crap joke https://blythspirit.wordpress.com/2020/03/27/the-alan-shoulder-story/