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I said that ages ago, ie imagine if it was Man Utd for example. It would be all about how a great club was about to rightfully back on the road to glory etc

[fade to black] On a river where they used to build the boats...

Congrats on the nuptials Ant! Craig turning up, Ant bollocking on about tech stuff, The Boldon Bunter pitching up like a lapdog- it’s like the good old days So, with that in mind, and since Ant isn’t allowed to look at other ladies’ tits anymore, here’s one from the Fist Archives.

Thanks for keeping the place running tbf man. Probably doesn't get said enough.

15 years have now passed since 5 of us pulled together to create this place. Happy birthday Toontastic!

Aye definitely. You just have to look at how the usual media twerps, like Delaney, were framing it when there were rumors the Saudis were interested in buying Manchester United versus how they reacted to our potential takeover. The PL would have felt nigh on no pressure to wave the deal through, they’d have probably got it through before Bein were able to kick up any fuss.

If it was any of those clubs or any of the other media darlings they would have approved it in about half an hour.

*background noise* ”town ya daft cunt”

Arguably people get the pundits they deserve, in football at least. I suppose these are the people that the average fan would want to stand beside in the pub while they watch a match on the telly (however Sky figure that out). Personally I would want to bring a bottle down on the head of Merson. Followed by several extravagant kicks to the testicles.

So, next week then?

Did Man City get a stand-alone “Trophy Presentation” on Sky? Or is that just reserved for clubs that haven’t won anything but the Champions League, the Super Cup and the Domestic cups in the last 30 years?

The premier league are shafting us completely now and it shows exactly what they think of the fans. They should have a duty to look after their members and they are clearly not doing that with us. It's impossible for us to plan for next season. We keep being told that Bruce has done a fantastic job securing our premier league position for next season with so many games to go, but it's impossible to take the advantage that other teams in the same position are taking while we have an owner who has absolutely no interest in us. I'm now certain that they're just hoping the Saudi's will go away so I can't see this being resolved before next season starts.

Starmer is on the right side of this. The election isn’t likely to be for four years. By which time the effects of Brexit will be coming clear and suddenly there will be a lot of Brexit voters who claim that Johnson fucked it up or that they were never in support of Brexit in the first place.

The PL have definitely overplayed their hand here. I wouldn’t be surprised if there was some sort of legal action taken even if the deal does go through

I'm finding it increasingly difficult to get exercised about this stuff. There are scandals all over this government, but there are never any consequences. Like Jenrick is in front of the Housing Committee today. We all know what he's done, and we all know that this is basically the last thing that he has to ride out and then it'll all be forgotten. I'm fucking sick of it, but I'm even more sick of wasting energy being outraged by it. I'm sure getting people to this point is all part of the objective, so well done to whoever's plan it was, cos it's working.

Aye, the twist is that it is monday

“Have you considered leaving toontastic.net a donation in your will?” Also congrats @Ant

What the actual fuck?! I'm sure I will have a backup somewhere.... and it can be restored. Mug in the bin or your dirty hands story breathing life again Bridget, what's it to be?

And about ten years since you all fucked off. Photo with a ‘I’m not Paul Wynn’ sign or I’m calling mackem.

Their cricket coverage is superb. Great commentary, analysis and summarisers. The films they show on the lunch breaks could be documentary series in themselves. But for football it just seems to be the same old jobs for the boys

A potato, made man.

The manager deserves enormous credit. Even if we lose to Liverpool it’ll be our highest points total ever under Steve Bruce.

He’s clearly a dim-witted man. But I don’t really understand what Dyer has against us. He made his name playing for Newcastle, where he played the best football of his career, but talks total shite about the club and fans as a pundit, and seems to have no admiration or respect for us at all. Same goes for Craig Bellamy, who I loved as a player but can’t stand as a pundit when it comes to Newcastle.

Theyve announced their points deduction isn’t applied until next season

Paul Merson is definitely holding betting papers on SSN, like. The dopey, alkie cunt.

Wigan staying up on goal difference atm

Nobody made a fuss about them getting money from a company owned by the Saudi state. It is getting really ridiculous now. I also can’t see how a confidential process does stop them from giving information about a time frame. The PL is more concerned about it’s business partners than protecting a member.

Sheffield Wednesday could also be deducted points ( up to 21 according to the BBC)

Then DJd at the Hacienda.

How can there be any legal basis for other clubs objections being taken into consideration though? I think you’re probably correct but I think this puts the PL on very dangerous ground from s legal standpoint. I think DK is probably correct too but I can’t see that defeating the Saudis either.

I think that’s a huge problem going forward for them. Whether this goes through or not there will have to be the same degree of scrutiny. There probably won’t be but I doubt the Saudis will let that lie and I don’t imagine the UK government are very impressed. I realise both of those groups are hardly paragons of virtue but that makes it worse, not better, for the PL in future.

The thing is Stokes is constantly getting better and Smith is a cheating cunt. Plus he looks like a ventriloquists doll that’s been picked out of a pond.

It the “left” as they like to call themselves keep relentlessly attacking Starmer we get to have a Tory Government forever Juxtaposed to the current shower of shite in Government, Starmer is de facto extreme far left. I think post Corbyn people get their kicks being in opposition. Let people starve as long as we get to complain about it on twitter.

Only NUFC could manage to suck every ounce of joy out of a potential $260billion takeover The PL has surely got to land on yes or no before the transfer window opens We are straddling the line between Bruce as manager and an extension to Manquillo vs Poch and Countinho coming in

Congrats Ant. Aye, everything it's shit at the moment. I had a big silver wedding planned, cancelled. I'm 50 in 2 weeks, no celebrations. Mind, might well get divorced soon on the cheap too I guess.

20 years on and that idiot still has legendary status

My mate had a bet on...Grealish, Aubamayang, Sterling to have 7 shots on Target between them. 15/1, had a fiver on. Sterling had five shots on target. The other useless fuckers didn’t get any

Aye....

I think my actual thoughts at the time we’re that he should “move upstairs” at the end of the season but i knew fuck all worth knowing at the time. (Not saying I do now ) They always used to sing about him pissing himself & having dementia etc, but every now and then there’s a mackem who tries to claim him. He was black & white daft, make no mistake but I think he held all the North east in high regard. As most men of his generation did/do. Again owing to the age thing there’s no doubt he didn’t hate Sunderland and probably even liked them, but a mackem he was not. They forget that a lot of fans of either club would alternate between NUFC/SAFC games depending on who was at home & there was zero animosity.

I think the sheer boredom of the game made everyone forget that Carroll had actually had that chance. It's hard to pay any attention to the matches now. Absolute dross football being played by a club that has no interest in doing anything in a sporting sense playing in front of no fans. I went to the pub to watch it with my mates and ended up discussing strikers from 90's Italian football for about half of the match. It was difficult to even turn my head to watch the match.

It would be like shagging a bin bag full of custard.

Staying away would have been nicer.

If there's anyone capable of fucking the sadness out of her then it's definitely this guy. He looks like Lee Ryder's dimwitted cousin.

Aye, Souness came out last night with the old, 'expectations are so high up there it's impossible for any manager' line and in the next breath said how Rafa had the full backing of the fans despite the boring football.

Bramble is the same. I think it’s easier for them to blame the fans for their shortcomings than to admit how disrespectful they were to SBR (for example). Bellamy especially has done a complete history rewrite on that score.

Aye I've got that problem. Reducing the chance of getting the virus, but increasing the chance of getting hit by a car.

I think they’ve just went to Category A status off the back of promotion being pretty much assured. Whereas, I think we’re not even a letter on the alphabet. Probably just a vague sound like “Pleh” or one big fart noise.