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Speaking of which....

Fuck off to the Politics thread you boring sods

“THIS IS NOT THE NEW NORMAL!!!!!!!!!” is up there as my most hated phrase. It is until there’s a vaccine, shitlips so get your mask on, be slightly inconvenienced in Aldi and stop being a cunt.

safe blud, safe

A virtually empty Cornish beach @ Portreath ....... not an infant or teenager in sight

You can’t be going around blaming young lads for taking their chance to shag some Icelandic tarts ffs. The game is on its arse

One day we’re going to find that the Joelinton transfer was money laundering or something.

I’m still not giving Ashley any credit for this btw. We only signed 3 loans in January, all of which have left now. So we’ve spent £35mil across 2 transfer windows. Half that if you include the £17mil we got for nowt off PIF. I reckon the club is still in the black and Ashley hasn’t added a penny

I mean, the tongue has a habit of sticking to freezing surfaces. This could have hilarious consequences.

2 good signings. Twitter is milking it for all it’s worth like, you think we’d signed Messi and Mbappe Hope it doesn’t bite us on the arse!

35? More like Granny Graham, amirite?

Fuck's sake. I tripped and grazed my leg on Saturday while on a hike that I wouldn't have been on if the government hadn't imposed quarantines that prompted me to cancel my foreign travel plans, so Matt Hancock owes me some antiseptic, a couple of plasters and a tabloid photoshoot. Is that how it works?

Echo...Echo....Echo...Echo

They’ll keep happening here more and more since more and more selfish, ignorant, Facebook-informed cunts seem to think not wearing a mask is some sort of freedom-fighting civic duty.

Socialism carried out by a bunch of people who don't believe in it, are woefully incompetent anyway, and who have literally no plan or intention of moving towards a sustainable outcome. It's basically as if some twat coked up and let loose with the family credit cards, overpaying for things, and buying things he doesn't need - and when the rush passes, he'll be left penniless and in debt with no better option than to make his family even worse off than they were before in order to pay everything back. It's not socialism, it's just incompetence.

Still not as good as this punch.....

'The road to Wembley pull out in the evening chronicle tomorrow starts off with a preview of Blackburn Rovers at home and a date with former Magpie starlet and young Geordie, Adam Armstrong with the incentive of a trip to play a certain Joseph Barton once of the parish of the cathedral on the hill and wearer of THAT tache when he scored against Aston Villa in the revenge 6-0 dribbling following the relegation 'Sob on the Tyne' - Gate. Also read what former NUFC and Blackburn striker Louis Saha makes of the tie.'

Ernest Borgnine btw.

“ In case of emergency; 1. Remain seated on your fat arse. 2. Scream. 3. Do not put on a Lifejacket, it’s what Big Gubmint wants you to do.

He’s a toon fan as well

They’ve signed 35 year old Danny Graham

Someone I know who is lucky enough to work in the Tesco at Jesmond reckons the latest craze is for the students to take selfies of themselves licking the freezer doors. Thank fuck I was young in the 90s

I wonder how many people, in England, have been caught and subsequently fined for failing to self isolate after returning from one of the growing list of destinations where you need to do so. I can take a wild guess

'I love my dear old, mum, bless her, but what about any unexpected bills if she dies?' Sure I'll get the house but I'll have to pay for it to get done out. I'm not made of money! Luckily SunLife were there to squeeze the fucker out of her pension money for insurance. Well, it's not like she uses it for anything else these days other than buying the sun and nutting the pavement when she trips over manhole covers.'

Eighty people have been arrested for Eileen's fall the article says. Let's hope they get proper justice. Throw away the keys.

The voices in your head.

Well there’s plenty of that

I'm not really sure any of this counts tbh, depends how far back in time you want to go as to the cause of why we're here. I could say that we've furloughed people so that capitalist enterprises don't go under because we've told people to stay home to protect the socialist NHS which is in need of protection because it has been stripped bare over many years as a consequence of capitalist/neoliberal austerity. I just don't think we can call this socialism if there's not an overall strategy aimed at bringing in socialism behind it. It's just 'desperately spending money to prop up as much of the economy as possible' in my eyes. The risk if we start calling it socialism is that we're going to have to spend the next 20 years trying to tell people that actually, if socialist components to society had been implemented properly we wouldn't have lengthy periods of austerity following it. And we'll fail at explaining that. All the public are going to see from this is "The Tories are doing socialism" and then 5 years later "holy fuck, socialism sucks - it's ruined the country". It feeds into that whole complete oversimplification of the matters at hand that landed us austerity in the first place.

In hindsight, it might have been foolish to expect an "oven-ready" deal from someone you know has never actually lifted a finger to cook a meal in his life.

I doubt they could give two shiny shites

Because there is zero evidence for it from a virological pov. Plus why? China were already doing very well, matter of time before they become the predominant national power. And why would they release it on their own population? Even in China, shake your head and consider how many people would need to be in on this. And none of the whistleblowers alluded to deliberate release. You're close to the rabbit hole.

I still don't see how anyone can dismiss the idea that this was deliberate by China. They've seemingly eradicated it quickly and effectively and after silencing any early whistleblowers. It's surfaced just a few years after their last novel coronavirus and disproportionately effected their biggest economic rivals, whose president is hostile towards them and is up for reelection soon.

See what you did there

It's been christened 'Dumbkirk' so I see.

All the Trump dipshits have turned up at a lake for another of their pro-Trump boat parades. Anyway they've blared about creating massive wakes and a number of boats are in distress and some have sunk altogether. Obviously they are claiming online that Antifa terrorists have sunk their boat. Presumably Antifa has a submarine division.

Good spot. I’m afraid to admit my eye was drawn to the banana hammock

Dani alves has let himself go

And what? We can’t still wish that he rests in peace?!

The training ground are just preparing the landing strip

In hindsight, the idea that Fop was a North Korean agent who learned how to speak English on internet forums makes a lot of sense

Wikileaks were, at best, a pawn in Putin’s game. Ditto Parky and HF

Where’s it set?