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Don't be bringing up one of his fucking Marvel films again, man! I'm not in the mood.

Rafa was also given what? About 6.50 compared to the ridiculous amount of money the club has spent since they ushered him to the door. Being sensible, you can only buy what you can with the budget you are given.

It’s because the infection rate is Dublin. I thangew.

This one.

A bloke goes to see the doctor jelly in one ear, custard & cream in the other. The Dr said "he was a trifle deaf"

Y

HE'S FUCKING GASH MAN

For @Meenzer, here’s former Basil Brush sideman Roy North doing his interpretation of Tenpole Tudor’s masterpiece. Mint.

Every manager going buys some shit. There’s a lot less risk involved when you’re given the funds to buy tried and tested rather than having to take a punt on young and unproven players though. Benitez managed to improve most of the players who played under him though. Look at the money we got for Perez for example. Not just him though, Lascelles was being touted for silly money. He’s probably worth about 20% of what he was when Bruce inherited him. It says a lot about Bruce that he can’t even drill his defence well. That said, I reckon we’ll be ok again when you look at some of the sides in the division. He epitomises the Ashley era though, short-term, no real plan, no obvious playing style, just about make do and get another season’s worth of tv money.

My lad asked if chickens like music… “ Yes son, they like Classical music” ” Really Dad, who’s their favourite composer?” ” Bach Bach Bach Bach Bach”

On my wedding day my best man said, 'I know you're getting married, but that's one massive grin on your face!' I told him my soon to be new bride had sneaked round the night before and gave me the best blow job of my life. 'Jammy bastard' he replied. Five mins earlier the chief bridesmaid mentioned how happy my soon to be wife was looking. 'I popped round his last night and gave him the last blow of his life!' she beamed.

I like the version of that one that ends "no no, that's just frost on my moustache".

I walked in on the Mrs. banging her personal trainer last night. I said “ I’m leaving, this just isn’t working out”

With Benitez there was a given that if he is allowed to run things he would improve a team tactically/ physically,/ mentally. if he'd have been given £40m, or whatever last seasons budget was, we would have had a better team I have no doubt, than we currently do, or at the very least a team that has a direction rather than give it to St max... honestly speaking I can't believe Bruce has got so many Jobs, he's a shambles.

Same and same for the injury list which will gradually deteriorate from him walking through the door.

This is what the internet is for.

Joelinton is the worst transfer the club as ever made - and that’s saying something.

Had to fix the mess left behind by Rafa tbf

My lass just asked me what I was doing on the computer. I said, "Looking for cheap flights." She got very excited and said, "I love you," then got on her knees & gave me the best blow job I've ever had... Which surprised me as she's never been interested in darts before!

Yes, only fair that we should look at the whole situation.

I reckon bruce is now serving up the worst football of any manager in my time watching newcastle. bearing in mind he's had some pretty stiff competition from the likes of mcgarry, charlton, allardyce that's quite some achievement. not only that, he's managed in a relatively short space of time to at least draw level with if not even nudge ahead of the likes of dalglish, souness and pardew in the utterly dislikeable, horrible cunt stakes. remarkable, blisteringly fast progress on both counts. fuck off bruce, you fucking repulsive fat mess.

Just had a look at the post in question- fucking hell! Fruity.

Woman walks past a pet store a see's a parrot in the window next to a big sign that says "Talking Parrot. Free to a good home. NO RETURNS!" and pops inside to find out more. She asks the shop owner "why is it free?", he replies "I need to be honest with you. The last two people brought the parrot back the next day. Truth is, this bird was rescued from a brothel and its prone to say some pretty crude and offensive things". She takes a chance on the foul mouthed parrot and takes it home. First thing it says is "New House! New Madame!". The woman expected worse and laughs it off. Her daughter arrive home from school and the parrot says "New House! New Madame! New Girls!". The daughters are a bit surprised but see the funny side after mum explains the parrots background. About an hour later dad gets home from work. The kids eagerly waiting to see what the parrot says. Dad walks into the room and the parrot just says "Hi Keith!"

Blaming the other side for being unreasonable in negotiations. That sounds familiar. And the substantial meals thing is just to protect the chains. Fuck everyone else.

Re-FYP.

Bus breaks down in the middle of the road, blocking traffic at rush hour. The driver has a look at the engine to see if there's anything he can do while waiting to get towed. A woman in her garden notices the driver struggling without any tools and shouts over "do you want a screwdriver?" "not right now love, I'm trying to fix the bus"

Boris is Steve Bruce

Nice It evens it up when you do multiplayer as well so you can’t just stat harvest. You’ve got to actually be good

I honestly think Ashley didnt want a manager like Rafa because he would stand up to him and try and dictate who to bring in and how the money should be spent. Rafa and Ashley are dictators a relationship would never work. If Charnley could talk in front of more than 3 people he would be fucking manager right now

what do you do if you see a spaceman? park in it man

An oddity of Ashley's reign is that he'll bin off a competent manager that the fans support, but who he won't, for an incompetent manager that the fans don't support but he will. McClaren was shit, but was backed with signings like Wijnaldum, Mbemba, Mitrovic. Bruce gets ASM, Wilson, Joelinton. Give Benitez control and he'll have got us comfortably midtable every season, maybe once the squad was deeper he'd have been a bit more interested in the cups as well. He wouldn't have signed Joelinton, and while he would likely not have signed Saint Maximin the team, as a whole, would be better off. We must have the worst manager in the league, I doubt any would have Bruce as first choice, not even Fulham and West Brom and i'm not convinced we'd be much worse off (performance-wise) with Parker or Bilic...

Best thing I've watched this year, I reckon.

I honestly think Ashley had the notion that getting Bruce in and giving him a bit of money would see a better return than Benitez in terms of points and league position. Just to prove some weird point because the fans loved Rafa and he wouldn’t just meekly do what he was told. It backfired somewhat with the signing of Joelinton. I can’t imagine another team in the division going for Bruce (or paying that money for Joelinton).

It's the passivity that gets me. Under Benitez we let the opposition play as much as they wanted in their half but as soon as they got within about 35yds of the box we were on them as a unit. Now, if there is pressure it's half-hearted headless chicken shit. For Rashford's goal, Shelvey just watched the play pass him by, didn't even jog after it. Said elsewhere but fundamentally there's 3 ways to play; defend so they don't score, keep the ball so they can't score, or score more than them. We can't defend, we sure as shit can't control a game and we're not set up toa ttack, so what the fuck are we supposed to be doing?

Not saying Liverpool fans are prone to getting carried away, but.....

I said when he was appointed that we'd have a period where defensively the team could play from memory but over time we'd look more leaky and we're definitely going to see that happening this season.

I remember when I was a kid we went to Edinburgh castle and in the chapel there, there are (or were) books of remembrance, never forget looking over at him and he was stood over a book tears streaming down his face, I'm guessing it was his regiments book, mam just ushered me away sort of "come and see some this over here". Strange how memories come back to me, god knows what his memories were

The only bit in the middle Brewcey is interested in is the bacon in his sandwich, fat cabbage headed twat.

don’t you just switch off the TV set and do something less boring instead?

do birds sing so gay?

"Nurse! Quick! He's having one of his funny turns again!"

Sucked his cock too.

Italian bloke rings the docs for a medical, and is asked to bring a specimen with him. “ ‘Ow am I gonna do tha? I don’t know any astronauts!” I Thangew.