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The bloke who makes up his own chants in his mother's house is pretty harmless really. Gormless, but harmless. This cunt comes across the worst of them all, an absolute travesty of a man. If he was the top sperm cell in his father's knackers then I can only shudder imagining what the rest would've turned out like? His mam definitely should've chucked the foetus and raised the afterbirth instead.

Steven does realise that East End bad boy, 'Nasty Nick' was just a character in a soap, doesn't he? (Going to be a long interview when the penny drops).

Presumably by the best bid he means a real bid. Ironic that his name is Storey btw, if indeed that is his real name. I expect that any due diligence on Storey’s bid, if indeed there is one, would end when Donald’s solicitors find him sleeping in his car outside the ground.

Wait till he realises he's booked the fella from the first series of Big Brother by mistake.

so, if it's confession time, I was the proud owner of a pair of these groovy babies...

Peter Alliss, ex pro golfer/commentator has croaked it aged 89, the fuckin gin soaked old cunt...well, that’s what my old man who had the apparent misfortune of being in his company on licensed premises more that once in the 70s called him anyway.. RIP Peter.....sometimes think Farage modelled his entire persona on this fucker

I find the True Geordie pretty annoying, and obviously Wraith is a total knacker, but fuck me even in the famous fan stakes we hammer them, between the bloke who makes up his own chants in his mams house and this westie gimp their representation is fucking dire.

I had a pet duck who wasn't bad at the old soul singing due to a freak accident when he survived forty seconds inside a microwave oven. I called him Bill Withers.* * Now THAT'S what you call desperate.

Had one of those unfortunate pube hairstyles.

Looks like there’s Wan-Less news presenter doing the rounds now

Treat yourselves.

It needs to be.... ....imminent?

There’ll be some ridiculously convoluted link to the Krays in there somewhere.

Blakey’s segs- I loved hammering them in, fucking lethal in winter though

These gave me superhuman skills on my Raleigh Grifter

I can’t

Aren't all the boozers shut cos we're in Tier 3? Looks like Gandaft's been smoking too much of the Old Toby again.

It's like impressionists who start each new voice with "I'm [name], and...". If you were any cop you wouldn't have to tell us.

MF, pictured later this evening

Bloody hell. He always looked like he’d just smelt a particularly bad beer fart that Cathy Secker had crop-dusted him with just before going on air. RIP

How many times has this sweaty beast demanded a decision now? I’m following in his footsteps and demanding that Penelope Cruz imminently reply to my request to split her whiskers

I think the vote can probably pass without the headbangers but I don't think Johnson's tenure is feasible with them against him. I think Johnson is gone shortly regardless and he doesn't give a fuck what damages he causes. Then there's the finance bill he's introducing to add salt to the internal market bill. No way can the EU accept that or let it be used as leverage. Personally I'm past caring. Any deal.will be so shit it'll make little difference. None of what has been discussed in this deal addresses the loss of services, non tariff barriers, or rules of origin. Nissan is fucked whatever happens and the NE will become a wasteland like in the 80s. I think I'd prefer instant catastrophe to a long drawn out death.

Worked with a lad, die hard Sunderland fan, would be in and out on a match day, (think him and his mates were from around Leam Lane iirc?) Used to call them thick mackem bastards etc.

Pero buena familia?

Did all of the locals not stare at you the whole time? The last time I was forced to go there that was how I found it. All of the semi intelligent mackems go out in Newcastle so it really is the dregs of the gene pool that go out there. It's like a night out in Royston Vasey if you're not local!

anybody else drive their parents to the brink of financial ruin during the 70s due to the ever shifting sands of footwear fashion? I reckon i would've given imelda marcos a run for her money, off the top of me head i had.... platforms beetle crushers monkey boots red dr martens (yellow laces) black dr martens (red laces) riders (elastic sides) riders (strapped) brogues yellow riders with elastic sides and brogue pattern yellow riders, lace up with brogue pattern madness, now I'm happy with novelty slippers! ps..... any footwear with leather soles had to have enough segs hammered in to them to have kept consett steelworks open another few years!

These all look like trainers you’d be able to buy Niko Bellic on GTA IV

I know I had a pair. 👍

By the sliding scale of social media hyberbole calling something decent on twitter is tantamount to saying it's a fucking shithole.

I think I had a pair of those

Just.......why?

Yer man Joe has been getting a bit of stick on twitter for sliding in lasses DMs

You can tell people are really famous when you have to remind the public what they do (did)

Still reckon this was Lionel Blair's greatest ever appearance.

I had a pet duck that hired a duck butler to open and close doors, slice his lettuce and other butlery stuff. When I asked how he was going to pay him he said, ”Just put it on my bill”.

'Fund raiser' Bob Geldof "Is it forgetting about moi musical career now, is it?!"

If we're skipping any of that lot it has to be Eamonn Holmes.

'Top Quizzer' Judith Keppel. 'Panto star' Biggins. 'Scottish singer' Lulu. Is this from the Viz?

Look, I’ve been lockdown drinking since half 1, I won’t remember this in the morning so let’s just settle for the draw

The knee won't be a thing after the new year . Sponsors won't want to see their ads with a backing track of mutant fuckwits gurning away about..*checks notes*...the evils of Marxism