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Did it shite. Got the refund through Amazon themselves so sadly didn't have to deal with Rich Energy's return department which I'm assuming would be a direct communication with Chewspacca here.

Benteke and Son have decided enough is enough

Bollocks. Brucey’s main problem is that his brand of football is even less watchable than Rafa’s rather pragmatic approach. His other problem is that his mates are constantly bringing up Rafa and using ad hominem arguments to deflect criticism.

Typical of the Magedia to get the grandson of a MLF member of the Magedia to claim he’s a Mag, and then have the Mag’s own Magedia confirm the Magedia member was a member of the Magedia, and a Mag. FTM

Twitters Doorman here

Gerard Ghoullier, more like

Well it's one way to get frozen grapes.

Aah. Is the ickle babba not getting enough attention?

I think it’s because he’s a cunt.

Bruce’s biggest sin is that he’s a shit manager. Don’t know why you’re on about Benitez tbh

George Taylor once of Tyne Tees 'Shoot' and in later years a NUFC employee sadly dies. A little before my time so couldn't say, (or care) who he supported but I've seen opinion divided on this. Not sure who to believe if I'm honest?

The club trolling him now it seems:

Gerard Houllier, mort like.

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Died, more like

What a parcel of shite.

That’s a bold statement.

Wraith- “ I wonder if they know I’ve shit me pants”.

He's still alive and posting, so I would say not

Dédard Houllier more like.

That's what he wanted you to think...

No sooner asked God, work is boring this morning

I’m fine bud thanks. My wife’s cousin has a 1 year old who has been diagnosed with a brain tumour. Couple that with the crappy state of the world currently has just got me a bit down tbh. Which can manifest in nasty snidey comments as the above.

Back to you, Jeff

“the ghost of Barbara Windsor will be on NUFC MATTERS this Friday discussing the takeover and trolls”

One of them was in a documentary about aliens on the BBC. Burnsie Hes an absolute fucking fruit loop. Once said he was going to send someone to my door because of and I quote “jenga lies”

Theyre also without exception puerile, gauche, moronic and infantile Dave. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say there's only ever been one or two decent films that started life in a comic book. Prove me wrong Bonus points for guessing the exceptions that prove the rule...

Lad at my work had a daughter whi had a 4 year battle with leukaemia before she died. Absolutely heart breaking. You really don't know what to say.

They had a 4-0 away win yesterday. RTG....

Are you saying he was a “friend” of Cheryl Cole, Will I Am and Tough Guy Mick?

Aubamayang has completely given up after getting his bumper contract, Willian has flopped and the rest of the team is one-paced shite like Xhaka or young players that are probably going to be good but aren’t there yet like Saka. They can’t create chances but refuse to give Ozil another shot and then Arteta is a young manager and seems a bit naive at this point, bordering on suicidal with the way he had them set up against Spurs. So, essentially, they’re just a bit shit after years of poor transfer judgement and are banking on Arteta eventually coming good.

With Brexit looming, it’s imperative that we keep our whites the whitest, so we’re using Persil.

Reach for the stars, climb every mountain higher

I stood up in the house and gave Steve a minutes applause when he changed personnel as we were looking second best at home to West Brom. Proper out of the box coaching and you love to see it. Anyway, fucking superb goal, love seeing a header fly in off the bar. 👌

Don’t worry, I’ve already reported myself.

Wrong Pong Pooey

Has he applied for the janitor’s job?

I remember the Cod Wars with Iceland in the 70s- shittest war ever.

This has been screamingly obvious all along, and I've gone from rolling my eyes and having a laugh at the good old British need to go out and get sozzled, to being genuinely annoyed at the fact that my life is going to be put on hold for maybe six months longer than it needs to be, all because people can't go without a draught Fosters for a bit longer. Pretty much everyone I know has cancelled their family visits and is staying in London for once, but there's inevitably an exception or two, and I must admit I'm finding it very hard not to reply to their posts about their travel plans with a tirade of abuse.

If "high-value business travellers" are exempt from the self-isolation rules now, then I imagine the prime minister is too. And masks aren't mandatory outdoors, albeit they're advisable if you're outdoors somewhere crowded. Still, you'd think Johnson's people would be more aware of the optics, especially if he's standing close to people too (which is meant to be not allowed, as you say), but this is the bloke who boasted about shaking hands with everyone at a hospital as the outbreak was taking off so what can you expect.

Cats for me like

Can't help much from here, but I'll take the knee in honour of Toulouse.