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Let’s face it- there’s only one NUFC scribe with the street smarts to actually win a rap battle.

"....And if I may say one more thing, Simon, one more thing.....I have never, NEVER, shut the doors in Bliss and ran away when one of the bar staff, the tall gangly plank kid, was threatened with a gun and the lad that threatened him turned up later, and it's yet another slur the establishment have tried to sling in my direction."

When my nippers were little we took them for a couple of nights in a “camping pod” - a fucking shed, near York, in June It was fucking Baltic - we were just a few miles north of the city, where they’re all rampant Tories and more inbred than the Hapsburgs, fuck all to do, pubs as welcoming as the Slaughtered Lamb, all in all a thoroughly shite few days, which the kids look back on with great fondness, the contrary little shites

That actually was Rents...He was up on the fells doing his best "Wullie Wordsworth" when the filthy avian motherfucker swooped in to pluck the Kendal mint cake from his very hand so our boy tracked the fucker 500 miles to St Ives where they had a square go on the beech 👊

Patel's husband. And her dressed in a carpet like a fucking 90 year old. And the pair of them looking like they're headed out to a Purge party. I will toast the misfortunes of everyone in this government. Job losses, health events, you name them, I'm there for them.

Guaranteed Edwards had his baseball cap on back to front when he sent those tweets

Innocent till proven gylfi

Luke clearly on an all night red wine and roast chicken bender.

Guilty Sigurdsson?

PIF off SPACface.

Going camping near York for three nights from tomorrow. Looking forward to Saturday

For the poor seagull’s sake I hope he’d washed his hands - we all know where they’ve been

Speaking of stupid cunts, Wraith has been on Simon Jordan’s talkSPORT show: What an absolute shoeing he gets by Jordan , claims to have contacts on both sides of the deal. What a throbber.

@Renton How long did it take you to nip down to Cornwall from Splatterdale? Man 'beat seagull to death' on St Ives beach https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cornwall-57886909

Genuine photo

jeff bezos is about to blast off into space in what can only be described as a cock rocket

What the fuck was that rap battle man The takeover could be declared dead tomorrow by all involved parties and it still wouldn't mean he was right about anything as everything he has ever said has been evidence free speculative nonsense. But aye, let's double down on our "victory" with a rap battle in public. It's like something out of The Office.

If I was gaffer at either of those papers, I’d be restricting access to Twitter unless they had another shit article to promote. What an embarrassing afternoon for both of them

Could have put that in the takeover thread. "When it turns out to be McMahon".

Don't anyone tell me Leeds were the only damned United. Never ending takeover with a league who really don't want it as their top brands aren't happy, Mike Ashley for over a decade, Bruce the latest duck egg in the dugout, another season of relegation or not far off it and even the professional writers being paid to cover us think it's a joke.

Nice mess for Rafa to deal with straight off. This reminds me, I should probably take Sigurdsson off my watchlist for fantasy football. He's going to be on a very different watchlist from now on.

Just another beautiful day in the land of the free.

Have fun!

No problem mate COVID-19: UK records 46,558 new cases and 96 more deaths - highest number of fatalities since March

The seagulls in St Ives are insane. I guarantee it nicked his pastie. That's motive enough for anyone.

Brown cowboy boots really finish off the look

I have no clue what this means

I hope nothing bad happens to him

Like a modern day Richie Cunningham.

mirror shades FTW

Grown men

There's been another Tory spouting this line across all the news channels this morning as well. You're NEVER gonna guess what's happened though? No 10 has piped up and said this is bullshit, you all still have to isolate. These tits are not fit to run a fucking bath.

They've kept this quiet till it suited them.

can anyone translate this?

C’mon, I used the word allegedly! I don’t think suing Toontastic for libel is top of his list of legal priorities right now.

There were seagulls trying to nick mg sandwiches on the summit of Helvellyn today. The little tinkers. Not so little actually , the cunts.

Not you, sweetcheeks.

Downloaded the app but as I'm off this week and it's lush like fuck am I actually going to activate it. Haven't been off once bar using a days holiday waiting for a test result back in October as I had some symptoms. Our place are normally Nazis for sickness but there was a spell where it wasn't included as sickness and was full pay. That's when I should've had the app! (Plenty used it and on more than one occasion). Anyway, it's been a case of using holidays, unpaid leave or going on your sick record for a good while now so there's no personal benefit to it at all but obviously you're helping reduce the spread apparently. I'm in two minds to not bother with it except now there's now more 'freedom' I'm more likely to actually get it/come into contact where up until the brief relaxations I've been playing by the rules so didn't feel the need for it and really don't trust the source of the app or their intentions with my/our data.

It’s beyond belief. There’s little wonder there’s so much resentment about the whole thing now when you consider that, like you say, people are apparently fine to work but not play. And then you consider that places aren’t even paying full wage through your isolation days or making people use their sick days (if they have any left after probably having the virus or isolating waiting for tests) and it’s little wonder people are just deleting the app and flicking the v’s at everything. All practical and medical considerations are out of the window because they’re horrified at actually having to give out some social welfare anymore.

MC Dougski next up in the rap battle every daft fucker is talking about

Where my parents live. Bout time the area was good at something

Think Q guy is Parky?.....

If only there was something the billionaire Andrew Lloyd Webber could do to protect the livelihoods of his workers. Fucked if I can think what.

Ah, my favourite Malaysian Premier League team.

Luke says both sides to blame

Lifelong Tories getting shafted by the tories...its just...