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Let’s hear it for Ryanair!

Tom's got Peter Beardsley's shirt and I've got an even older one worn by the bloke who kept us out of the third division and this fucker is only after Rondon's shirt? Admin, get on this lads profile before banning him.

"I picked him out because of his dozil, err, dosilly, err his daft accent. Laters, lol."

No capitalist agendas on here please, we’re all Marxists

I still can't work out why we want another centreback. We have Lascelles, Schar, Fernandez, Clark and Dummett or Hayden who could easily fill in before we had to resort to Krafth or Watts. How many do we need? Whereas when Wilson inevitably picks up an injury we're now down to Joelinton and Gayle who keep proving they're not up to this level. The need for midfielder is obvious but so is the need for extra up front yet our glorious leaders still can't grasp this. Absolutely staggering.

Tom used to have a David Batty round neck collar home top and a Peter Beardsley away one (the adidas sort of denim blue one) but I think he got about £400 for them both on eBay.

Nurse!

@Rayvin

#hashtags

Harry Kane getting very nervous right now.

He plays football like old people fuck

Something else he’s shite at

Depends on what's in it for the management team? The more I watch the way certain clubs act in the transfer market the more I'm convinced its mostly all bent, brown envelopes are more important than the needs of the squad. See signing Ba & Cisse within months of each other....

Ive met some absolute whoppers who loved to bang on about their “service” and expected everyone to love them for it, and they were invariably mechanics or admin. Conversely, one of the blokes who had a huge impact on me as a young 17yr old shaver working at the Calvert Trust was a former SBS and Marines bloke ( he’d only ever admit to being a Marine initially but he eventually did say he’d been in the Boats for a spell ) Nicest, most chilled bloke you could possibly meet, intelligent, considerate and had an almost zen-like calm about him. The whoppers were very much in the majority mind

You did it out of spite. We did it out of patriotism. Or something

Players exes meeting at the Women’s Refuge just over the road at 3:30pm. We’ll take them, good and proper 1970s style

Not when you were there

I still have the Beardsley shirt! He signed it at a talk in! The Batty shirt raised £360* for the West End Foodbank during the start of the pandemic last year via NUFC.COM’s auction. *the second placed bidder donated £50 of his bid anyway. Bizarrely enough a 08/09 relegation shirt I gave them signed by all those cathwords raised £150

I've got Rondons number 9 signed shirt he gave it to Miss T. She was his daughters reception teacher at the school she went to.

And 37 year old unskilled factory workers who live with their parents and who’s ex girlfriend’s love cock

I like how he doesn’t mention who they are Because that’s not his aeroplane.

I hope him laughing at them tickles the consciences of the cunts in Blyth and Consett who voted for him but I doubt it will.

I remember being in Sam Jacks before a match once and that radgie dj was auctioning a match worn Shearer shirt off for charity. Two lads lock horns and the bids go to hundreds. One lad eventually folds, only for radgie to say something along the lines of "fear not, we've got two... you both win!". Other lad looked sick as fuck. Even though it's for charity that's shite patter I thought 😄

I’ve genuinely no way of rating what a player is worth anymore, Arsenal paid £50M for Ben White who is not a stand out CB in any way to me. I suppose it’s what Villa would accept and money is no object to Man City. It’ll be interesting to see how Grealish gets on as for me he’s not hit his ceiling yet, he seems to just keep stepping up to the next level when given the chance and with Guardiola coaching him I could see him becoming an elite level performer. I saw an image of two full 11’s Man City could field if they sign Grealish and Kane and honestly both sides could finish in the top 4. Meanwhile we can’t put out two starting 11’s of professional players (meaning without dipping into our youth sides).

CBs are cheaper.

Prays Ashes are postponed

Oi, Oi, Oi

They'd be dripping like a broken fridge. As for the blokes.......like a babies arm holding an apple.

Spot on, Gloom 👍🏻

Maybe you could expand your oeuvre of journalist’s spoof blog entries

It’s says a lot about the paucity of options that the selectors keep turning to him. the most striking thing about today’s line up, other than the lack of spinner and all-rounder, was the lack of red balls faced by most of them. Massively undercooked while the Indians have been here all summer acclimatising and practising with the duke ball

Out to a straight one again, man. On the stroke of tea. Batted when batting was at its easiest too. 75 caps? The mind boggles. You’re right what you say about him re: today though

There’s always OnlyFans.

Have you been in my house?

Oh aye you get some arseholes who use it instead of being an actual decent human being.

I’ve still got my Asics and the adidas grandad collar home tops like. Not match worn unless you count the pitz at Dunston

Does not watching Love Island should be considered as cowardice?

Does it look like this …

Owen Jones is a snivelling little cunt as well. Just tell it as it is, man. Don’t arselick the fucking morons who got us where we are.

Thing is like you get someone who’s (for example) been in the marines for 15 years and there’s a good chance they’re canny crack with some good tales. But you get people who used to be in the TA putting ‘proud veteran’ on their social media profiles. Respect where it’s due and all that but it’s just something else that’s been weaponised now

You'd probably enjoy it, it's full of bastards taking ends good and proper.

Shearer’s from the Portsmouth game when he broke the club goals record, and Tino’s from the CL home game against Barcelona - worth a tidy sum now, which is a shame as I never had them.

Bet he’s half decent at Call of Duty

Don’t know why they think being ‘veteran’ as they now call themselves is something to be worshipped either. I couldn’t give a fuck if you’ve been in the armed forces or not.

Another grifter busted! 😂