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Been there.

"Fucking pissing mesel laughing here, like. Ah love the lads, they're ah'll decent kids but yiv got to have done the hard yards up and doon the A1 as part of the 'Toon army' to knaa the score and what the punters want. There'd be fucking H on to be honest with me not getting nominated but Helen Dalby told iz years ago when ah kicked off that ah'd alwiz win it every year so they had to let the other lads have a go but ah had to keep it to mesel so's not to dent their confidence. She even give iz a wink which ah'm fucking sure wasn't just a conspiryan, conspiratery, err not just about this little secret, think it was also a subtle hint that the sword of Ryder might be getting to know the front garden of Dalby if you knaa what ah mean? Lol! Anyways, like the kid who comes last on sports day ah hope they enjoy their token reward. (Ah don't think ah'll come last tbh if me and Hels get it on as ah've had a bit of a lean spell with the fanny because of lockdown an that otherwise yi tahlkin hours!) Laters, Ryder and fucking out!"

'You won't be hearing from me for a while'. 24 fucking minutes he lasted.

Thick as pigshit these divvies 😂

TSFOAN. Too Shit For a Nickname. I'm sure it will catch on. My vote would be TIM - The Invisible Man.

Oooooo curveball

How daft do you have to be to pay Ashley for one?

I could understand if they were protesting against Loose Women

I almost used the phrase LeazesMag-like

LM's young'un?

He’s got this weird obsession with bringing up things he’s said in the past to prove he’s right about stuff. Especially given most of his tweets regarding us highlight the opposite

I love how the cheeseburger thread has 6 pages in that screenshot alone Six pages of crack about some tramp carrying around cheese slices in his pocket, what a world.

Goes on to say “still might not happen”, aye you really fucking nailed that story. What a total fucking whopper this loser is. Claims he’s got the Saudi takeover right too in the thread, despite him being completely wrong the whole time as they absolutely were/are interested his initial point was that it was all bullshit he didn’t start off by saying the PL would basically block it. Helmet.

There’s definitely something in blue coat’s pocket, given how he’s waddling. It’s either a pound block of cheddar or he’s shit himself.

"Chilli sauce or garlic, Mr Ryder?" "Are ya having a laugh, Mehmet? Fucking garlic or chilli? Chilli sauce and mek it extra hot because the Knight's nee puff. Garlic on a kebab? Might as well hoy ice cream on it anahl! Remember when Souness stuck his flag on your pitch? That's like you asking me if ah want chilli or garlic sauce! Lol. Laters, Mehmet. Oh, by the way, nice to see yiv still got that signed phurto of Emre ah got you. Contacts, son, yiv got to have fucking contacts. Up here for thinking, doon there for dancing."

The Knight is definitely a man of letters… …” Letters have a large doner, extra meat, nee rabbit food, and divvent be shy with the chips either Stavros, lolz!”

It was part of the bespoken deal.

Lejeune and Muto were out on loan all last season, Atsu was only available for half the season (but didn't play) as he didn't get a squad place for the first half and on the odd ocasion that Carroll was fit, bagpuss still wouldn't play him even when Wilson was out. So if we do get Willock we're not really down on last season. Technically we still have Woodman and Watts available to so you could argue we are up. It's still not near enough when you see the amount Hendrick and Gayle have had to play in preseason mind.

Which is effectively pointless in the context of moving the club forward under current ownership.

Don’t get cocky, kid.

lol do his rip

Exactly my thought. The likes of Wolves and even Everton (if the rumours are true) seem like they would be crying out for a midfielder like him and not a peep after a fantastic loan spell. Especially when we’ve dragged our heels the way we have. And now we have a week and a half to get the players we need on other positions. Great planning

Disappointed that Hendrick doesn’t have a nickname

A bargain at that price.

To be fair the thumb headed slobs lunch break probably starts at 9am

Wish I could offer some insight but I've got no recollection of even posting that and absolutely no idea what it was supposed to mean.

AYE!!!!!!!

Well, he's not so different to us in that even he doesn't know who half the fuckers who play for them are 😂

I wonder if this is the cheese bloke? (But then again, the list of suspects will be long.....)

It's like a slightly less sinister League of Gentlemen character.

4th season in League One and owned by a chancer, a squad full of players nee fucker has ever heard of, but it's all right, as the stadium grub-peddlers heat up his cheese until it's "quite melted." Talk about the lap of luxury, you can guarantee none of the barcode stadium lads heat up cheese on a cheeseburger.

The best place to store cheese is your pocket

Is there a different type of cheeseburger I haven’t heard of? I.e. a one without the cheese already on.

How tight do you have to be to wander around with a dairylea slice in your pocket ffs

There's a lot going on in that post, but where to start? 😂

Would he be classed as a ‘purple’?

sadly waugh's renaming of the corner is the least of the problems with his tweet thing. the corner became my new home once the leazes was pulled down, loved it in there and the rivalry with the scoreboard. I'm willing to bet there was more folk in the strawberry bit yesterday than there was braincells.

The World Games is where they demo the sports under Olympic consideration and look at some of this shite Rock and Roll dancing means we could do our scouting in The Star when the Ska-Toons are on

Bless…He’s pregnant.

At least we’re top of the dry powder table

"As the clamour grows on Tyneside to get the signing of Joe Willock from London over the line a certain Geremi also from a London club was making that same journey seventeen years ago from Chelsea and swapping the special one for the one you've got to come back for like the McEwan's best scotch advert where the Geordie lad with the Chris Waddle perm comes over the Tyne on a train home looking at the Tyne bridge." Lee 'knight' Ryder TMGRSWY.

I had some liquorice late last night. I dreamt about "allsorts"

Not according to a certain ex-Villa manger

On the contrary, it made me more powerful than you could ever imagine.[/Marvel-standard dialogue]

Cannot imagine the kind of kid who gets into competitive fast walking like. Football? Nah. Rugby? Nah. Running? Fuck right off! Fast walking is the sport for me.

Da fuck did I do?