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That's absolutely not me although I agree with the sentiment.

In his fucking bedroom, no less. Seems there was more than just a few:

Did she get on your tits?

Now to take a sip of my coffee.

I do! I once used my proto-GCSE French to translate a newspaper article they'd reprinted - unsolicited, obviously. It was basically the French press talking about the draw for the next round of the Waffa in 94-95 and saying "anyone but Newcastle please" in the wake of us demolishing Antwerp. In hindsight I should have submitted it for publication under the pen name Stéphane Maréchal-Bertrand or similar.

If we let Joelinton go on a free this summer that would mean a £24.6m loss on the books, thus allowing us to spend £24.6m more under FFP. If I were Staveley it would be something I would give genuine consideration to.

Article doesn't mention that Villa CEO Christian Purslow was formerly the Managing Director of Liverpool FC when Gerrard was a player there. Funny that, a hugely experienced sports journalist forgetting to acknowledge an obviously key point in getting Gerrard to leave Rangers. Almost unbelievable some would say. Yeah .

Tbh I don’t think the PIF are going to particularly arsed about making a loss on players from the previous regime. You can’t sportswash with shite players.

What you talking about, MC Yorkshire?

If only there was some sort of system in place by which you could send letters to people rather than having to deliver them by hand yourself

That's just bizarre. The only two managers I didn't want us to go for were Gerrard and Lampard. I would probably have taken Martinez over them, not that I'd want him either. It's pretty obvious that Gerrard wanted the Newcastle job but that's not our problem. Now his press mates are having a go at us on his behalf. Fuck off to Villa man and count yourself lucky they were daft enough to fall for it.

Massive Chopra fan?

How many times is that poor bloke going to have to answer questions about turning down that whiskey-nosed, porridge goblin?

I don't know man. I'm not his fucking biographer. I just know he used to run the Melton, and lost his license in the 80s. Jesus Christ.

Not as mad as this bloke.

I must be the only cunt who hasn't seen anything of this kid on YouTube. (And that's the way it's staying).

Aye it’s absolutely incredible he’s slating us for not picking a bloke that he thinks we should have picked, who then went and got another job any way. Regardless of what people think Gerrard will become as a manager it’s all guesswork, Eddie Howe has 12 years experience and has experience fighting against relegation which is something all the pundits were banging on about when we were after Emery! Samuel is a fat pig though, and he’s always been a tragic journalist - he puts as much effort into his work as he does his appearance.

That's proper tickled me 😂 I'm beginning to think the lad might be on the special side. I'm not sure I'd be broadcasting that I have no social life and don't talk to girls as a means of increasing subs to my channel.

Five years ago and you still have the appointment card. You truly are the king of dads.

It’ll be a shame to lose Eddie Howe a week into his managerial career here but this kid will only have himself to blame

Wait til @thebrokendollsees that collection of bins. There'll be nowt the matter.

Did you provide Yorkshire human beatbox? Eh kee-thump Eh eh kee-thump Eh kee-thump Eh eh kee-thump

Lads, fuck your bins, Howe's got a son called ROCKY.

I've never seen a bigger collection of people who don't want a fights. 2000 fans being held back by 30 coppers

Would.

“So would you rather the MURDEROUS, EVIL, PLANET KILLING Aramco sponsoring you or cute sock seller Sports Direct!?” “Murderous evil planet killing Aramco please….”

Framed and displayed next to my kids shitty paintings.

When Dean Smith, coach driver, took over Steve Bruce, manager’s Aston Villa they were 15th in the championship. What does Bruce have on people!?

Seems like it might be infected though! Appointment today at 2:40 but was hoping it for ten minutes earlier so I could crack the gag at the dentist to polite annoyance

nor will I ever unless the council changes its wheelie bin policy.

You definitely sound like a predator.

Not even Ashley can afford Centre Parks, right Dads!?

Poppers?

Fish whipping it out all over the shop.

The Ponteland trip was to an Italian for a three course happy hour special iirc

Gemmill currently neck and neck with CT in the bandwagon steeplechase

Four blokes who you could reasonably believe were all called Grenville. "owroight Grenville." "ow do Grenville." "morning Grenville." "Be seein yer Grenville."

Hitzfeld being interviewed for DoF role according to this. https://www.theguardian.com/football/2021/nov/10/hitzfeld-to-Newcastle

If you enjoy the transfer speculation, that's one thing, but otherwise I would ignore all of it. 95% of it is gonna be made up. Howe apparently pulled the local journalists to one side last night and asked them to lay off with the speculation because of the effect it can have on the current playing staff. Which is an intelligent, if probably fruitless, move. Especially given that Ryder promptly reported it in the Chronicle like the fucking dope that he is.

You really do like your Graemes, don’t you?