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‘Though your return flight is with Parcel Force’.

Relax. I’ve just seen the author is.

If this was the mackems they’d be absolutely buzzing, and probably have some new besties sort of runs against the “everyone hates the mags” narrative doesn’t it? As always the case is most don’t really care about us

“ Hi Mike, Can you meet us at the embassy in Turkey to discuss a settlement in this case of yours? We’ll pay for all flights and disposal…cough… return travel- yes return travel, ahem, definitely return travel…”

I was under the impression that Cantwell wasn’t getting a game due to personal issues but I could be wrong on that. Either way, he’s a definite improvement on the likes of Fraser and Almiron IMO and is the kind of player we should be rounding the squad out with. Wood would (lol) be an easy signing for me, like. He’s an improvement on the striker which we have now which is nobody but on a more serious tack, outside of this season, his record has been more than solid, he’s a real physical presence, can hold the ball up, good at attacking corners and will relish Trippier knocking crosses into the box for him. It makes perfect sense to me. He’s a far better player than that flat track bully Mitrovic, like

Everyone hates the mags though marra

Signing Lukaku would give me Wood.

Chris Wood. but what would Chris do?

Hopefully that's the coffers empty for them and we can sign Botman in peace, without that scouse copycat sticking his beak in.

David Batty did a better version on Phil Stamp iirc

I reckon the Wood link is him trying to catch out some of the people hes accused of stealing his stories, hes a sad enough bastard to do it.

I, for one, am amazed that a French lad doesn’t fancy a battle [/Brexit]

Aye, everyone at the club, including the fucking players, has had the weekend off. Tomorrow I expect to see more TRANSFER WINDOW INSANITY. It's the most exciting thing about the club atm. Let's have deals agreed Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday please.

Had three shits today and I’ve drawn an ace every time. Has anyone ever come close to such consistency?

As much as anything else, we just need players that aren't the ones we've currently got. Even a 10% ability upgrade with a 50% confidence/attitude/belief upgrade would be a lot better than what we saw yesterday.

I agree tbh, we know these players are fucking shite, we also know the club are trying to bring people in so the fans may as well carry on producing a good atmosphere. The bad atmosphere under Ashley made sense as we were watching turgid football and knew the ownership wasn’t bothered about improving and we had managers who didn’t give a flying fuck.

After yesterday I absolutely want him gone. I always thought he was worth keeping around due to the squad rules but tbh he’s completely fucked me off. He’s a lad from Newcastle, with the club on the verge of potentially having this insane level of improvement, wouldn’t you think he’d be grafting his bollocks off to improve/help the team? Like how Joelinton is despite all of his limitations. I know Joelinton is clearly a better athlete and presence but Longstaff could at least fucking run. To layer on he was happy to fuck off down the tunnel with the rest of the quitters while Trippier stood on the pitch yelling at them to clap the fans, his fellow geordies who sold out the fucking ground to watch him walk about the pitch putting on one of the worst individual performances I’ve seen (might be harsh? But it was honestly embarrassing). Again add on that he has allegedly been demanding £60k a week which is why there’s been no new deal, and pushing for a move to fucking Everton, again despite the project happening at his fucking hometown club! While people will point out he’s a limited player and will likely lose his spot that’s such a fucking losers attitude, if he grafts his fucking bollocks off he could possibly be a squad player, maybe even be around to win a cup with Newcastle - and honestly if he sees it that way I also don’t see him getting into Evertons CM neither so he’d be a squad member there anyway. Another thing I’ve heard is that it’s his dad leaking things to the chronic, so he’s likely the famous mole of Bruce’s shambolic reign - again as much as Bruce is a prick you’re exposing issues about your hometown club publicly. Seeing people like Manquillo, ASM, and Shelvey run off the pitch as fast as they could is bad enough but as noted above this lad has pissed me right off. I’d bring in a CM unregister him and put him in the U-23’s for the remainder of his contract.

If the crowd does turn ugly they deserve to be shot with shit.

Snap their fucking hands off

I'm quite happy having Wood and Lukaku.

I still really hope to see him bankrupt one day. The blokes an absolute cunt for a multitude of reasons. It would honestly be fucking hilarious if he lost this, then they countersued and rinsed him for £300m. I’ve absolutely no doubt that what ever he’s suing them for is minor/him being a greedy bastard.

I would take him to be honest. We need strikers, plural. And he may not be some stellar signing but he knows where the back of the net is and can hit the ground running.

Where’s the fun in that

Just waiting for the go ahead from Henry Mauriss.

I’m not sure a man with three league goals to his name all season is the answer to our problems.

Are you kidding me with that performance? This team, man. What an embarrassment! Great time for that type of result in one respect because it shows the owners precisely how shit the team of absolute plodders are that we put out each week. ASM is our best player on paper. On the pitch he's a fuckin dandy. Fuckin around with the ball way too much as per usual. No end product, whether it's shoot, pass, dribble, doesn't matter, always ends up the same -- nothing doing. Crowd were rightly getting on his case in the dying minutes when he continued to dally on it trying to nutmeg himself when we had six players waiting in the box for a cross. Kraft way too far away from his central defensive partner for the goal. He crowded over way to close to Trippier and left a massive space for the pass to go through the channel. Highlights as well that we really need a midfielder capable of recognising those situations and cutting things out. Need a midfielder in general because Longstaff was horrendous today. And when Willock came on for Murphy, he was even worse. Murphy was good though so kinda disappointing that he was substituted for Almiron. Almiron did his usual road-runner stint of *meep meep*'ing around and doing about as much as ASM. He's fast than ASM though so he gets to the point where he accomplishes fuck all faster, which, in theory, gives a chance for the game to resume quicker and we can then continue to hope someone else does something. So credit to him on that score, I guess. The lack of quality in front of goal was clear as day. I assume Gayle has COVID. Only explanation for his absence. Was he on the bench? I didn't look. Forget he existed, honestly, until I realised we didn't have a striker. Need one in the window. If it wasn't obvious before (which it was) it is now. Willock is fucked. I don't know if it's confidence or if he is just bad. But man he came on at 0-1 against a League One side in a poor team that he has been in-and-out of lately. Showed zero desire to do anything. Need a leftback. Ritchie did nothing in particular wrong tonight. But we know he ain't a leftback. Credit to their keeper. He had a great game. We hardly worked him at all in the second half, then he pulled out a worldie to keep BUJ's header out. Good game from him. But a decent striker in the side and he would've been beaten a few times in the first half during the few spells of pressure we put on them. Anyway, typical Newcastle. At least the owners got a solid reminder that the squad needs to be replaced in almost every position.

That’s why they’re where they are now. They put up with and ignore the obvious signs of the club being absolutely rotten to the core because they won some derbies and they’re still reaping the rewards.

I’ve got a bit of time for him on the basis we’ve had fuck all else in terms of someone who can beat a man / create something out of nothing. But the fact he fell over himself to praise the laziest fucking manager in the game speaks volumes imo.

on today's showing he wouldn't pass to them anyway.

Another fun little FM2006 Easter egg uncovered! If you add the Hungarian league with full detail, you can sign a 42-year-old Viktor Orban - yes, the actual fascist Hungarian leader, who used to play for his local club - and make him the scapegoat of your failing team.

Congrats dude! Wow it’s been longer than I thought since I spoke to you good for you man, sounds like a great adventure

So Vlahovic and Botman pre Cambridge, Cantwell and Wood post Cambridge. Talk about making our expectations realistic again. At least it feels more like the club we all know. Hamza Choudhury in on loan next...

The only reason its any use to me is that the kraken and pedal power supply dont have their own "off" switches, the kraken in particular is just on, with valves, if its plugged in which ive always thought was a design flaw.

Burnley on a whole have had a shit season and his supply chain has been thwatred I assume. Like others have said he gets the service like we did yesterday and he scores. I am really not hopeful we will have a new striker in this week. We are down IMO.

Reported

He’ll smell some payout somewhere with his shit signs being taken down

Ah its beautiful, we're neck deep in summer at the moment which is looovely.

Just back and fucking hell. Longstaff put in a performance barely above Sunday League level, £1m was about 500k too much. You could do a swap for him and say, Davies, with Everton and you’d end up with a much better side of the bargain. Enough has been said about ASM but the amount of loose touches and over hit passes was a complete embarrassment from everyone. At one point, Schar overhit a pass to Trippier by about 35 yards. Just basic stuff that is completely lacking in all of them. On the plus side, Trippier’s actual ability stood out like a sore thumb, he’s head and shoulders above this shower. It was like a Soccer Aid game and he was the one player playing who had only retired 6 weeks previous. As for the manager, I’m sorry like but if Steve Bruce sets that team up today, he’s getting pelters. Repeated crosses to nobody, players played wildly out of position, a left back brought on rather than your young striker at 0-1, all baffling decisions. Aside from Joelinton, he’s getting very little more out of this lot, if you ask me and I truly hope it’s because this lot are beyond help

Fucking SHITE at the minute, but it's gonna get SO much better. Like never seen before in our history better. I'm just trying to think about that.

That was the worst performance all season. We have two players capable of playing up front, neither of them played, and this was the inevitable result. No goals scored against a League One side. If we don't sign strikers in this window we may as well sack the rest of the season off.

If we were gonna lose a game in January, this is the one you'd pick. Trying to look on the bright side.

CT should have gone to the pub tbh

That’s like saying to a starving man ” Hey, it’s ok, I’ve got food. You can have some” Then eating it all, shitting it out in to a bowl and saying “Tuck in”

You have to wonder if our lot will move on from this one as getting nickel-and-dimed over miniscule details of add-on particulars potentially sets a dangerous precedent for other club hierarchies to follow if we're identified as a soft-touch in negotiations. (Or they simply pay what Lille want, agree to the strange add-on demands, and trust that everyone else will understand that the French are impossibly difficult assholes who don't impact upon everyone else's ability to get along just fine.) Updated Offer: £33million - previously mentioned add-ons, plus response to latest request as follows: - Dear Lille, not every transfer negotiation involving an English club needs to include a restatement of the English Crown's abandonment of its claims on Calais!

Like 99.9% of our fan base, id never heard of Botman before last week. But I can say with absolutely no certainty whatsoever that he is 100% worth the fee

Milan. Absolute peasants. Pygmies of world football.

Philippe Cowardtinho more like.

All downstream from here. He will paddle hard for the cause.