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The only thing we should be getting in is about 15 positive tests at this stage

When I got my third jab I didn’t even know the lass had done it. Which made for an interesting role reversal

I don't even know what you're talking about anymore. I feel like you're just in a fever dream, on the psych ward, curtain pulled around your bed, randomly screaming stuff out about "JUST PAY THE FEE........ EXTRA 5 MILLION........ FFP........ WHERE'S FUCKING NICKSON?"

Just your average super chilled-out argumentative cunt, relaxing into another pointless argument.

it's to be hoped mr logic isn't lurking....

--------------shrubs flowers--flowers--flowers--flowers ---------------plants flowers--flowers--flowers--flowers ----------------tree

O_o

There's gonna be an avalanche of signings in the last week and Gloom and wykiki are gonna be like a couple of piss sprinklers while the rest of us are covered in transfer ejaculate.

BT: "Hello, BT, how can we help?" Wikki: "I'm phoning up as your prices are beyond a joke, lad round t'corner is paying almost half what I am. I want a much better deal or I'm cancelling. What do you think about that, then?" BT: "I'm sorry you feel that way sir, I can give you a month's half price on your HD subscription, £2.49 for a month instead of £4.99?" Wikki: "What?! I'm after something a lot better than that! Cancel my subscription. I'll go elsewhere where I'm not taken a lend of. Cancel it." BT: "Very well sir, your service will end next week. Is there anything else?" Wikki: "Now hang on a bit, let's not be hasty now"....... Twenty minutes later....... BT: "So your new 24 month full package will include no bonuses, no price reductions and we'd like you to pay back the 40% off from your first three months of your original 24 month contract from 2007." Wikki: "Thanks a lot for your help, love, that'll be no problem." BT: "Will you fill a survey in after this call saying I was brilliant and you were a pudding who buckled under the pressure?" Wikki: "Of course, absolutely no problem, thanks again for everything."

£50

Well I for one can't wait to hear Zapata of tiny feet.

this post aged well

Rice is a rolls royce of a midfielder who can everything, shelvey is physically abysmal

I might try our approach in tesco later. I'll give you £2 for this pack of chicken thighs now, another £1 later if they don't make me barf up and a further £2 if the curry I make wins masterchef. see if they're agreeable?

*Alan Pardew and Mike Williamson have entered the chat*

Ryder already has the ‘Plea Bargain’ headline written

Do you, in life in general, display anxiety over things you have absolutely no control over whatsoever? ITS NOT FOOTBALL MANAGER RECRUITMENT IS BEING LED BY NOVICES ITS JANUARY WE'RE NEWLY MINTED WE'RE IN THE BOTTOM 3 I BET YOUVE NEVER PLAYED POKER IN YOUR LIFE Hope this helps Best regards A. Cunt

I see the Southend West by-election is bringing out all the usual delights

Do doo be-do-do [/CT]

Almiron was clearly making progress under Rafa...which, I think, tells its own story.....

I'd be happy with Troy Fucking Deeney atm

You think JRM's tough, you wanna try getting the metro through Shiremoor mate.

He's probs said "I know there's interest, but I've got 18 months left on my contract here". The classic will you leave me alone dickheads response.

Aye, do what you’re told or we’ll send JRM and his nanny round

Always a bonus when you can work your Friday night mantra into a post about Newcastle transfers.

You heard it from Lee, first.

Botmam? Bot all, more like

Starting on a sweepstake on just when Asprilla’s lass binned him off. I’m taking 3rd of December 2021

So from the starters in their game against West Ham that’s Firpo (who played lb) and Forshaw (who played CM) out on top of what I assume the players who had already been out for that one. I’d like it to be called off so that we could have more players in for it but fucking hell man it’s depressing that we can’t even feel in any way confident of beating this lot even though we almost have a clean bill of health

"Yanks have been busy over Harrogate last couple of days in their F15s. Getting ready eh? They'll be over 'ere again flashing cash and getting their way with our women folk. It's not on is, like, I tell you."

Not playing on with a dodgy shoulder? Coward!

Thanks, I look forward with increased vigour to us failing to meet his club's valuation.

Looked to have some potential at one point. His combo of pace and engine would’ve been an asset to the current side before Bruce got hold of him you’d have thought

He’s been sort of pushing for a move for a while now. Tbh I’d be happy if we offloaded him in the summer, he’s not good enough for the PL. He’s not good enough technically to make up for being so lightweight. At this point it’ll be worth it alone so I stop seeing fans of his stupid old MLS club bemoaning how this unbelievable talent is being wasted at a shit club, he’s part of the reason we are shit lads.

Hong Kong dollars, Indian cents, English pounds and Eskimo pence

You could give most CBs 8 cans and put them in a pair of doc martens and theyd be better than that shower.

Where’s that little bamp Pearson and his mates when you need them?

Howe-di-Howe!

Carlos never had our support anyway after Diego dealt him a beatdown.

Surely a one day ban is in order for that?

It’s an Atari crocodile, walking to the left, chilled as feck.